Women Are Raped. Men Rape Them. (Simple, huh?)

What's wrong with this picture? Everything.

The visual is as stunning as it is disturbing.  A woman lies prone on a bathroom floor, her underwear pulled down around her ankles.  The implication is she is the victim of a sex assault.

Even worse is the finger-wagging tone of the ad:   “She didn’t want to do it, but she couldn’t say no.”

The ad was commissioned by the Pennsylvania Liquor Board to dramatically illustrate the dangers to women of drinking alcohol to excess to the point they can be taken advantage of.  Following a slew of criticism for the ad as victim-blaming, the board has pulled the ad.

Haven’t we learned yet it’s not a woman’s fault if she is raped?

The ad was absolutely asinine, tasteless, lurid, but its biggest problem is the advice is useless.

A woman can drink until she’s down on all fours and not be raped.

A woman can sip ginger ale all night long and be raped.

It does not matter if a woman is drunk on her ass or sober as a judge. She can do everything wrong and get home safe and sound. She can do everything right and become a victim.

Drinking to excess is not a good idea for anyone. If it’s not a valid excuse for a man to say, “I drank too much. That’s why I raped her” why would it be a valid reason to blame a woman by saying, “You drank too much. That’s why you got raped.”

What should be done now is to burn all those posters and come up with a new one and this one should hold the proper parties accountable. REAL MEN DON’T RAPE.

Women don't ask to be raped. Men choose to rape women.

The penis is not a separate, sentient organism.  Men control the penis, not the other way around and they alone, are responsible where it goes.  Don’t put it where it hasn’t been invited and there’s no risk of ever becoming a rapist.

Women should take reasonable and prudent precautions to avoid being a victim of sexual assault.  Of course it’s not a good idea to go home with strange men or to drink to excess and lose control of your facilities, but  being cautious and aware is not the same thing as living in fear of the inevitability of rape.

Men are not hardwired to rape.  They learn how to become a rapist.  They can unlearn too.  I’ve never raped a woman.  That’s not bragging. It didn’t require superhuman restraint not to.  All it took was higher brain functions firing on all synapses and cleaned out ears so when she said, “No” it  was not confused as meaning “maybe” or “yes” instead.

You can’t take credit for not doing something you’re not supposed to do.   It isn’t her fault she got raped.  It’s his fault for raping her.

Men rape.  Because they chose to.  Not because they have to.   Women can’t end rape.  Only men can do that.   Men will end rape when they stop raping.   It really is that simple.

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15 thoughts on “Women Are Raped. Men Rape Them. (Simple, huh?)

      • No that’s not what I’m saying… When I first openned up this email, I saw the heading, but the pic was of a white womens leggs. For some reason it really caught my attention, and I really felt like her leggs should be black… Being a black woman all we ever see is white women in advertisement, and this is an african american website, although I’m sure some others read it as well… Our issues with sexual misconduct started from slavery by our masters. And our blackmen were also raped by whitemen just as well as our women. Thank you for your reply Mr. Winbush….

      • Oh, well I get it now, Dianna. What I would say is that yes, I am an African-American, but my interests go beyond subjects of exclusive interest to African-Americans. Rape is an equal opportunity destroyer and it’s equally horrible to me no matter what the race of the woman is.

        Hope you understand. Thanks for reading.

      • Mr. Winbush…
        We are both on the same page when it comes to rape, that’s not the issue. When I connect with any subject online, I always quickly connect with the subject at hand by the discernment of my spirit / aka my inner man. I have a gifted tunnel vision that takes me into place others can’t even percieve or understand, so please don’t mis-understand what I am saying to you. I was blessed to attend (Blessed The Mic) at one of the colleges here in the south…. allow me to say before I move forward, I am not from the south, so I’m not stuck in a mentality… back on track… I was blessed to sit in on a lecture given by the author of (PUSH) / Precious… The words she said that I will never forget were (Rape is happening on a larger scale in the African American Community more then any place else, and its happening to blackmen just as well as blackwomen, but its not coming to a holt because we won’t talk about it, so that the head of the enemy will be exposed). So this is my point when I saw the white womans leggs. So again, I do understand that rape is not isolated to only one race of people. Looking at that picture is just like our black children being brainwashed for years believing in a whiteman Santa Claus that brings them toys down the chimney, especially since we are hated so much by the whiteman. Too much has escaped us / been allowed, its time for us to start catching all the small things that seem so simple, because it is the little foxes that eat up the vines… Thank you for listening Mr J. Winbush

  1. I’m not sure that I agree with the concept of putting all the blame on one side. Sure, men shouldn’t rape, and if no men did there wouldn’t be rape. And we can’t repeast that enough. But the buck doesn’t stop there. You could tell me, it’s perfectly fine to leave my car unlocked in a rough neighborhood. Theives shouldn’t steal, see. If my car gets stolen, it’s their fault, not mine. Of course the guy who steals my unlocked and unprotected car is at fault, but try explaining that to my insurance. My insurance will tell me it’s my obligation to take due care of my belongings and safety. The police officer will tell me the same. We don’t live in a perfect world. I wish we did, and I do my best in my own small way to make the world better. But if a woman’s life is destroyed by rape, what consolation is it to know it isn’t her fault. Wouldn’t it have been better if it wouldn’t have happened? So why are we deconstructing common sense? Common sense is you stay away from danger, whether man or woman, old or young, black or white.

    • This is exactly the same old attitude this article is trying to put by the wayside. To equate being raped with leaving your car unlocked and having it burgled is extremely offensive and insulting.

      • I think you misunderstood me.

        We live in a society that is obsessed with blame. We ask, “whos is to blame”. We don’t ask “could this have been prevented?” The police and justice system and the media care more about retribution than they do about prevention. Sometimes the answer to the two questions is the same, and so we tend to mistake one for the other. But sometimes there are additional answers to the second question and then we jump on the bandwaggon and assume the messenger must be implying the first. So if somebody says “don’t take risk”, people shout “you are implying the victim is to blame”. That connection is a logical fallacy.

      • AMEN ANDY… This damned American Society /aka the systems is obsessed with blame, and are absolutely not interested in solutuions. Solutions to them don’t make money… the bastards need something to experiment on, debt about, make money on and all the above. And the major truth, which is the bottomline to all of this is the truth about where rape originated from. The acts of rape were not born here on American soil, neither was disease nor famine. It was brought to this soil by sorry ass Columbus who did not discover America. How can you discover something that belongs to somebody else hummm.
        Europeans / aka extremelly nasty poor indenture servants (colonies) from England invented Rape, they brought it with them over on their ships to America. If you really wanna stop evil filthy acts you gotta start from the bottom where it was birthed, hatched and originated from. The real monsters have to be exposed and willing to look at themselves in the mirror. But of course many aristocrates won’t look at themselves in the mirror because Rape is apart of their DNA, just like hatred and racism is also, and they’re also the decendents of the devil, satan himself / aka fallen angels…. Do your history again, but this time digg deeper by going farther then the law allows so to speak, and there you will began to find the truths about everything, especially when it comes to American soil. Lord help us all, we are late, and MJ said it better: Its already too late, this is one of the reasons he is dead, he knew too much amongest many other things….

    • Andy… you DO realize that most women are raped by people WHO THEY KNOW, correct? Everything that you say seems to imply that you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Not even a little. “Common sense is you stay away from danger?” Oh, ok. I guess I should keep myself locked up in my studio apartment 24/7 – in a strait-jacket no less – lest I encounter the boogeyman in a cape and shades hiding in an alleyway who’s just waiting for some tender young flesh to come by and – I can’t even continue that cliche any longer. The most common form of rape is DATE rape. Ergo, I guess I should consider “dating” as dangerous as per your “common sense solutions” (TM) and stay away from that as well. Or, pretty much, anything with a penis. Like I said… to my strait-jacket after I post this.

      As if women can identify by looking at a guy if he’s a rapist. Or could be. Or would be under the right circumstances.

      Tell me, since you seem to have all the answers – let me know how I identify a rapist. I’m sure us women could learn a lot from you. Apparently there are obvious factors that we can use our common sense to avoid to spot a man who would be willing to rape us, as opposed to the more likely scenario that due to ingrained patriarchy and sexism, even an acquaintance might overlook our inebriation or protests if they feel like they’re entitled to our bodies. Or a friend. Or a co-worker, a boyfriend, a husband…

  2. Blaming a woman’s rape for her dressing skimpy is ridiculous. To me, it’s like an overweight person blaming their obesity on food. It just doesn’t work. The fault lies with the rapist.

    • Your so right Kelly… Every weakling, sicko, damn fool needs an excuse to make himself right in the mirror. Rape comes in many forms… Women have been raped by Bishops, Pastors and Ministers for years thru tiths and offerings (robbery) and also raped phisically by them too… I’ve seen it all from my childhood up to this present day. My father sheltered me, my mother and my sister from these monsters, and the only reason why evil deeds like these are being more exposed now is because of womens rights. Remember there was a day women had no rights, where raping and murdering women was okay, until it was about the blackman raping a white girl… Don’t sing me no sad songs….

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