Bat Affleck? The Internet Does Not Approve.

And a million nerds wailed in rage and impotent fury!

Ben Affleck is your new Batman.   In the summer of  2015, Superman will throw down with the multiple Academy Award winner.   This may not be the hero Gotham wanted but it is the hero it is going to get now and the Internet handled the news in its usual calm,  mature and reasoned way.

NERD RAGE!  BEN AFFLECK?   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Their wrath took shape as a petition on Change.org declaring:   His acting skill is not even close to being believable as Bruce Wayne and he won’t do the role justice. He’s not built, nor is he intimidating enough for the role of Batman. His portrayal of Daredevil was atrocious and he’s not remotely close to an action star. Please find someone else.

The petition has close to 50,000 signatures and that is close to 50,000 people who seriously need to get a life.

Twitter started trending as soon as the news broke and the best comment I read was in reaction to the irrational hateration, “There is no one who could have played Batman that the internet would have liked. The internet hates things. It’s what the internet does.”

Which isn’t completely true.  If Warner Brothers had been able to get Christian Bale to put back on the Bat-suit for another turn or been able to get Joseph Gordon-Levett to put it on at all, The internet would be VERY happy.

If I were an executive at Warner Brothers, I would be high-fiving every hand in sight over the Internet losing its collective SHIT about the Affleck-as-Batman “controversy.”

It is a bad idea to make any decisions based upon what the Internet does or does not like.  The Internet liked Snakes On A Plane and you see how well that turned out.   Heeding the advice of someone who knows what is in every compartment of Batman’s utility belt and Aunt Harriet’s last name but has never produced, written, directed or raised one dime to make a summer tent pole film is probably not the smart move to make.

The same fanboys who are bitching relentlessly today are the same ones whom in 2015 will have their moms drive them to the multiplex on the opening night of “Superman vs. Batman” where they will buy a giant tub of popcorn, soak it in faux butter, buy a 40 oz Coke and plant their asses in the first row so they can bitch relentlessly how bad Affleck is as Batman.

Just remember this:  As Gawker points out, the Internet hated the announcement of Heath Ledger as the Joker too.

Seems to me that turned out pretty much okay.

I’m sure Affleck will be fine.   All he has to do is be better than Daredevil.

How hard could that be?   Bat… Ben Affleck addressed the angry hordes amassed against him.

You’ll hunt me. You’ll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because that’s what needs to happen.  You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength. I like this job – I like it!  And… here… we… go!

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7 responses

  1. He may actually be okay! I think its hard for people so see him in such a serious role. It will be just fine…I hope!

  2. Me too! He was a wonderful choice playing the 1920/30s “Superman” actor in the movie “Hollywoodland” – exposing his vulnerability and emotional need to become the superhero to fight against his depression. I think he will be able to explore that complexity in Bruce Wayne.

  3. He will be fine, there is an odd coldness to Batman and Ben as an actor has that nothing phases stare in any role role so him not coming off intimidated by Superman will play good. As Bruce he has a charm that might work. He has been doing good thing since that movie where he played the first television Superman. Daredevil sucked, plus if Ryan Reynolds can fuck up three comic book characters Ben should get a second chance in the comic book movie world

    1. Good catch on Ryan Reynolds. That guy is comic book movie Kryptonite. Everything he touches DIES.

  4. I just wish there were fewer comic book movies. It’s getting old and boring. Anyway, though I haven’t seen Argo, the clips I saw look like Ben Affleck can project gravitas in a REAL person; fictional Batman shouldn’t be such a stretch. If good acting ability were the requirement for a “good” Batman, George Clooney and Val Kilmer should have been *great*. ;)

    1. I take your point, Suzanne and I’m getting a bit jaded by comic book movies either. But when the two movies that made the most money this summer are Iron Man 3 and Man of Steel, we’re gonna get more comic book movies, not fewer.

      As for Val Kilmer, I’m afraid homey ate his way out of comic book movies forever.

      http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/hey-guys-remember-when-i-was-batman.jpg

  5. “There is no one who could have played Batman that the internet would have liked. The internet hates things. It’s what the internet does.” Ahhhahahaha …..

    This blog post killed me. So damn funny. You’re right: if Joseph Gordon-Levett woulda been like, “Yeah, Batman sounds good,” people would have been happy. Then, other people would have said he’s too tiny to play Batman. There’s always something to bitch about.

    To be honest, after Christian Bale’s performance, it’s going to be hard to fill his shoes. I think they should just stop now; Bale was too perfect. The James Bond mechanism will have the same problem, post-Daniel Craig.

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