Who Watches the Watchmen? I Did.

Five characters in search of a movie.

Watchmen. Meh.

I was never emotionally engaged by the movie. There is different expectation that comes when you’re familiar with the source material. Like you, I bought the comic when it came out in September ’85 through October ’86. There isn’t the same sense of wonder and discovery as the comic. Zack Snyder did a fine job of putting the story on screen, but really, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons storyboarded the movie for him.

I really like the fight sequences such as the Comedian’s struggle against the intruder, the alley fight, the prison break (though there does seem to be the same Asian looking guy getting his butt kicked in several scenes) and the final one at Ozzie’s throne room.

But the actress who played Silk Spectre was lousy. Her big emotional moment on Mars with Dr. Manhattan was…well, I was going to call it “wooden” but that would be insulting wood. More on the caliber of dinner theater, not major motion picture.

Nite Owl/Dan was okay, but he really should have been paunchier and a little older. Ozymandias/Adrian looked like a male model in a GQ ad. David Bowie would have called him a fag.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian/Eddie was good though his crying scene was weak and Jackie Haley was a perfect Rohrschach. You could almost smell how grimy he was.

Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan? He was okay, but anyone can voice a CGI special effect. Otherwise, he’s just a big, blue guy with his wang-dang-doodle flapping in the breeze.

Zack Snyder isn’t a visionary. Two movies don’t make you a visionary. He’s the new George Lucas. Technically competent, visually lush, but he can’t direct actors. The worst moments of Watchmen are the quiet scenes of actors delivering the dialogue—stiffly.

Maybe it’s my own thing. I sat there and I just never got engaged in the world of Watchmen. I felt I was watching a great book turned into a standard comic book movie. IT missed the fun of Iron Man or the Spider-Man flicks. No way it touches The Dark Knight.

Despite the ramped up sex and violence Snyder threw in with the absence of a compelling villain, it was just a series of talking head shots and talking and talking a lot more.

See the movie. Buy the toy.

See the movie. Buy the toy.

I think the movie will do well, but I expect it will drop off huge next week. It wasn’t a terrible movie. I hated the music choices though. One minute you’re hitting me with Nine Inch Nails, Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix and the next its this orchestral arrangement dripping with strings, horns and heavenly voices. For chrissakes, either do the rock/metal thing or the John Williams school of music.

Maybe it’s just that I find almost three hours of a man’s dork all up in my face not the most entertaining of experiences.

The source material for the film is great but the film itself is merely adequate.  It’s was okay. Nothing more than that.

I’m not disappointed because the film isn’t as good as the book.  I wasn’t expecting it to be.  But I think it’s fair to have hoped it would be better than it was.

** Two stars.

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