Stupid Black Man of the Week: Kanye West (and it’s only Monday!)

Call the cops!  Kanye is mugging Taylor!

Call the cops! Kanye is mugging Taylor!

What the hell?

MTV plays music videos?  GET OUT!  When did that happen?

I want to believe what he have here is another one of MTV’s well-known stunts, but if it was Taylor Swift looked like nobody told her.

Kanye, I know you lost your mama last year and I’m sorry for your loss, but did you lose your damn mind too?   I mean, you got Eminem saying, “That boy ain’t right.”

Forget about manners.  Where’s your good sense?   You actually ran up on Taylor Swift, a White girl that does country music, jacked the mic and started babbling about Beyonce’s video was better?    Do you have any idea how many people LOVE country music and here you are bum-rushing itty-bitty Taylor Swift?

Brutha, are you HIGH?   Oh, wait…here we go.  Sorry.  I retract that question.

Is Kanye's problem in his right hand or his left?

Is Kanye's problem in his right hand or his left?

Either Kanye is drinking too much or he’s screwing too many tranny androids like Amber Rose.  Maybe it’s both.   This man is crying out for help.  Somebody needs to stage an intervention now.

Either way, he didn’t make any new friends by showing his bitchass at the VMA’s.   Hate me now or love me now, KW?  I think I’ll hate you now.  You,  Serena Williams and Joe Wilson ought to form a band called The Whiny Ass Crybabies.

Even Kelly Clarkson thinks you suck hard.  She dropped this on your head via her blog:

Dear Kanye,

What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we’re all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??

I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her…so why can’t you be?? I’m not even mad at you for being an asshole…I just pity you because you’re a sad human being.

On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!

Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl!

KC :)

At least Kelly got her hate on through her blog.  Pink and Katy Perry just nuked Kanye’s ass via Twitter.

Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me.  ~ Pink

“FUCK U KANYE. IT’S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN.” –  Katy Perry

This woman could kick Kanyes ass with no problem.

This woman could kick Kanye's ass with no problem.

Damn.  You know you got it bad when girls want to kick your ass (and in the case of Pink versus Kanye, I’m taking Pink).

For a guy who made two good albums (The College Dropout, Late Registration) and two bad albums (Graduation, 808 & Heartbreak) he sure thinks a lot of his meager little accomplishments.

Kanye isn’t the type to listen to anybody, but what he should do if he were, he should kick Amber the Tranny to the curb, hook up with Serena and both of them can go into therapy and work on their lack of maturity issues.

Why a grown man would want to stomp on stage to spoil a teenager’s big MTV moment can’t be explained and won’t be forgiven?

Kanye and Serena were locked in a steel cage death match to determine which of their dumb-asses would be the Stupid Black Man or Stupid Black Woman of the Week.

Kanye is a punk but he knows what he’s doing. Serena is just an immature loser.

But they BOTH showed their behinds.

Kanye wins based on lifetime achievement.   He just tried harder.

When Kanye quipped, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people,” he was speaking from his heart, not his brain.   He wasn’t all right about Bush, but in the way Bush handled the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, he wasn’t all wrong either.

Well, who’s the dick now?  Even Bush can laugh at Kanye West’s continuing gross acts of stupidity.

What’s funnier than a “music” channel that stopped playing music videos years ago giving away awards for music videos they don’t play?

Who really gives a shit about a VMA?

And since the awards don’t mean dick, what’s left except find something “outrageous” that happened completely and totally spontaneously and without warning like say Sasha Baron Cohen’s ass landing in front of Eminem’s mug at the MTV Movie Awards?

If he really wanted to freak America out Kanye would have bent Taylor Swift back and shoved his tongue down her throat.  This stuff is about as genuine as a porn star’s orgasm.   So is his “apology.”

Advertisements

No Booty Calls for Barack.

She's got the hots for the O-Man.

She's got the hots for the O-Man.

President Obama’s popularity ratings may be taking a dip but he’s still a hot commodity among some groups.  Or is that groupies?

A word of caution to Michelle Obama: if a woman calls The White House claiming to be ambassador from Sweden who urgently needs to meet with the president on a matter of utmost importance,  hang up.  

That’s just Malin Akerman sniffing around your man. 

If  you didn’t see Watchmen, the name of Malin Akerman probably won’t mean much to you, but that’s okay.  Here’s all you need to know.   She played the heroine Silk Spectre in a vergy tight latex uniform she described as a “human condom.”   The other thing you need to know is in an interview in the October issue of Esquire,  Akerman  has some….well…interesting things to say about the president.

Such as the fact the O-Man makes her think naughty thoughts about doing naughty things to him.

“I get sweaty palms when I think about  him.  He’s so supremely intelligent, and he’s a man.  I just want to go in there and become  a home wrecker.  No, I really don’t.” 

The Esquire interviewer tells Malin there’s pictures on the internet of a shirtless Obama swimming during a Hawaiian vacation.  Akerman has never seen the photos, but she’s clearly curious to do so and more than her palms are getting damp.

“I might have to have a little bathroom break.  Change my panties.”

Miss Akerman would like a moment of the president's time...

"Hey, Michelle, mind if I borrow your man?"

The interviewer pulls up the picture of president splashing in the surf.  Akerman is not disappointed.

“Oh, my God.  I really need to meet him and mess up his marriage.  And mess up mine, too.”

Akerman is married to some Italian guy who plays drums in her rock band.  I think Barack’s probably got a pretty good shot if he and Michelle ever hit a rocky patch.

“Have you seen his hands?  I’m sorry, but I’m a big hand freak, and those hands could wrap around you twice.”

Oh, that old myth again.  Isn’t the only thing you can say with real certainty about a man with big hands is he has to wear big gloves?  Apparently, there’s a few 31-year-old Swedish starlets that didn’t get the memo.

The First Lady is a confident classy, smart and accomplished woman whom even when Barack was in the U.S. Senate, was making more money that he was.   You think she don’t know what a babe magnet her hubby is?  I know more than a few brothers who confess to checking  out The First Lady’s fun buns.  You ever hear of anyone scoping out Laura Bush’s butt?  

 Chris Rock famously observed, ” A man is only as faithful as his options.”  I’m willing to bet President Obama has a lot of options.   If he were to unleash his inner Bill Clinton/John Kennedy and creep around, Obama would be spoiled for choice. 

If the president even reads Esquire, he’d probably be smile and be flattered by Akerman’s panting and plotting on how to break up his happy home, but whatever else Obama is he ain’t stupid.    Even if he wanted to get his freak on with a little sumpthin’ sumpthin’ on the side, he wouldn’t do in the White House with a White woman.  With as much on the ball as Obama knows what he might gain from fooling around  isn’t worth what he would lose.   

It’s like Tupac said, “All eyez on me.”   There’s no shortage of eyes on Obama every moment of every day.  Except when he retreats to the presidential lavatory where he probably sneaks a quick cigarette in.    But as for sneaking in a blonde or brunette?  Fuhgeddaboutit.  

Does this look like a woman worried about someone pushing up on her man?

"Sure thing, Malin. But first, are you covered for major body trauma?"

Besides he’s already got Michelle who’s smart, fine and bootylicious.  When you’ve already got prime rib at home, why go out for a hot dog?

Why does Michelle smile so pretty?  You’d smile too if you knew thousands of women are fiendin’ on your husband, but he’s not going anywhere.   Imagine if he got caught in the act.  Does Michelle look like someone who would stand by her man’s side at a news conference where he admits to an act of infidelity?   Hell no, Negro!   She knows she ain’t got a damn thing to worry about from Malin Akerman or anyone else checking out the Commander-In-Chief.   Let ’em look because they won’t get to touch. 

Even with the Secret Service, Barack’s protected by a strong Black woman who’s protecting her interests.   As far as Malin Ackerman’s Jungle Fever fantasies goes, I hope they keep her warm on a cold night. 

 If they’re not named Malia, Sasha or Michelle, there ain’t no other “Obama Girls” in Barack’s forseeable future.

We Will Never Forget.

September 11, 2009

REMARKS BY THE PRESIDENT
AT WREATH-LAYING CEREMONY
AT THE PENTAGON MEMORIAL

The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia

9:34 A.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT:  Secretary Gates, Admiral Mullen and members of the Armed Forces, fellow Americans, family and friends of those that we lost this day — Michelle and I are deeply humbled to be with you.

Eight Septembers have come and gone.  Nearly 3,000 days have passed — almost one for each of those taken from us.  But no turning of the seasons can diminish the pain and the loss of that day.  No passage of time and no dark skies can ever dull the meaning of this moment.  
  
So on this solemn day, at this sacred hour, once more we pause.  Once more we pray — as a nation and as a people; in city streets where our two towers were turned to ashes and dust; in a quiet field where a plane fell from the sky; and here, where a single stone of this building is still blackened by the fires. 

We remember with reverence the lives we lost.  We read their names.  We press their photos to our hearts.  And on this day that marks their death, we recall the beauty and meaning of their lives; men and women and children of every color and every creed, from across our nation and from more than 100 others.  They were innocent.  Harming no one, they went about their daily lives.  Gone in a horrible instant, they now “dwell in the House of the Lord forever.”

We honor all those who gave their lives so that others might live, and all the survivors who battled burns and wounds and helped each other rebuild their lives; men and women who gave life to that most simple of rules:  I am my brother’s keeper; I am my sister’s keeper.

We pay tribute to the service of a new generation — young Americans raised in a time of peace and plenty who saw their nation in its hour of need and said, “I choose to serve”; “I will do my part.”  And once more we grieve.  For you and your families, no words can ease the ache of your heart.  No deeds can fill the empty places in your homes.  But on this day and all that follow, you may find solace in the memory of those you loved, and know that you have the unending support of the American people.

Scripture teaches us a hard truth.  The mountains may fall and the earth may give way; the flesh and the heart may fail.  But after all our suffering, God and grace will “restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”  So it is — so it has been for these families.  So it must be for our nation.

Let us renew our resolve against those who perpetrated this barbaric act and who plot against us still.  In defense of our nation we will never waver; in pursuit of al Qaeda and its extremist allies, we will never falter. 

Let us renew our commitment to all those who serve in our defense — our courageous men and women in uniform and their families and all those who protect us here at home.  Mindful that the work of protecting America is never finished, we will do everything in our power to keep America safe.

Let us renew the true spirit of that day.  Not the human capacity for evil, but the human capacity for good.  Not the desire to destroy, but the impulse to save, and to serve, and to build.  On this first National Day of Service and Remembrance, we can summon once more that ordinary goodness of America — to serve our communities, to strengthen our country, and to better our world. 

Most of all, on a day when others sought to sap our confidence, let us renew our common purpose.  Let us remember how we came together as one nation, as one people, as Americans, united not only in our grief, but in our resolve to stand with one another, to stand up for the country we all love. 

This may be the greatest lesson of this day, the strongest rebuke to those who attacked us, the highest tribute to those taken from us — that such sense of purpose need not be a fleeting moment.  It can be a lasting virtue.
 
For through their own lives –- and through you, the loved ones that they left behind –- the men and women who lost their lives eight years ago today leave a legacy that still shines brightly in the darkness, and that calls on all of us to be strong and firm and united.  That is our calling today and in all the Septembers still to come.

May God bless you and comfort you.  And may God bless the United States of America.

Stupid White Man of the Week: Rep. Joe Wilson

wilson

If Representative Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) had chosen to wait until after the President spoke to go before the microphones and cameras and say, “You lie” he would still be the sub-story to the larger one of Obama regaining the initative in the debate over healthcare reform.

But who the hell is Joe Wilson and why would any newspaper or television station  outside of South Carolina give him the time of day?

This is the letter I sent to Rep. Wilson’s e-mail address via his website before it was shut down (or crashed):

Dear Congressman Wilson,

I must confess; prior to last night I had no idea who you were and despite my considerable interest in politics, your name had not caught my attention.

You have my attention now.

Your behavior last night to call The President of the United States a “LIAR” before a nationally televised speech before a joint session of Congress was boorish, disrespectful and ill-mannered, sir.

Such a lapse of civility is appalling behavior for anyone to engage in and particularly unforgivable coming from a member of Congress. I would have had more respect for you Congressman Wilson had you simply kept your hands folded, withheld your applause or curled up with a good book until the President finished his speech.

In the military I was taught to always respect the office if you can’t respect the man. You sir, apparently fail to grasp this concept.

I will be contacting my own Congressional representatives to urge they censure you for your contemptible actions and disgraceful behavior.

I was a lot more respectable to Wilson than he was to the president.

That a backbencher nobody like Rep. Joe Wilson can shout out “LIAR” to the President of the United States during a nationally televised joint session of Congress proves beyond a shadow of a doubt how contemptible the opposition to President Obama truly is.

Democrats may have sat on their hands or yawned or scratched where they didn’t itch when George W. Bush was addressing Congress, but they didn’t disrespect the man in such a blatant fashion.

There is no excuse for shouting “You lie!” at the President of the United States in the chamber of the House of Representatives during a nationally televised address to a joint session of Congress. NONE.
"Hey baby, I'd love to caucus with you."

"Hey baby, I'd love to caucus with you."

Wilson personifies the pitbull meanness, blind partisanship and total lack of civility, respect and plain good manners of the Southern White Far-Right Republican Party. He should be censured by Congress for his boorish behavior, but he probably won’t be.  The Democrats led by Nancy Pelosi are too wimpy and weak to make an example of Wilson.

An apology is “weak” when it comes after you’ve just made an ass of yourself on television and you had to be buttonholed by leaders of your party to suggest you make an immediate mea culpa.
An apology is “weak” when it comes from somebody who comes from a background where he should have known better than to act like a total dick in public.
An apology is “weak” when you’ve behaved like a jerk and it’s not sincere.

The president showed class and accepted Wilson’s half-hearted apology.  Why wouldn’t he?  Wilson not only made an ass of himself, he gave a face and form to the Republican Party’s negativity and do-nothing approach to governing.

How are you going to conduct yourself like a thug at a town hall meeting or a obnoxious drunk at a bar then expect to be taken seriously?  Clowns like Wilson don’t care about the millions of Americans who need healthcare reform.  He’s just trying to grab his 15 minutes of shame.   Mission accomplished.

Wilson is a dinosaur.  He’s part of a dying and poisonous strain of cheap politician:  the good ol’ boy White Southern Redneck.  The sooner he and his rotten ilk are out of power and sinking in the tar pits, the better off the whole damned nation will be.

Fear of a Black President: Don’t let that socialist talk to my kids!

Obama in the act of recruiting future socialists.

Obama is caught in the act of recruiting future socialists.

I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. Every single one of you has something that you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.

~ President Obama in his address to schoolchildren

HELP!!! The president wants to talk to my kids!   The longer Barack Obama is in office the more ridiculous the criticism from the nuts on the Right becomes.  Now they’re bent because the president delivered a speech to schoolchildren.   Some parents were so frightened that Obama might use his evil mind control powers to turn their moppets into unthinking government slaves.

I’ll be brief because this is too stupid a subject to spend much time on.

This is the dumbest damned “controversy” since Obama ordered a hamburger with mustard on it and people lost their friggin’ minds.

What we’re seeing here is Obama Derangement Syndrome gone absolutely bonkers: “I don’t want that Black socialist polluting the minds of my precious little Janey and Johnnie with his leftist propaganda.”

For those morons who kept their brats at home rather than have the president tell them to study hard, stay in school and respect their teachers, all they’re doing is filling up their kids with the same stupidity and paranoia that’s rotted their own mind.

These people are seriously trippin’ as they try to find yet another way to hate on and disrespect the president. Why don’t they just fess up and admit they just don’t want a Black man talking to their kids.

Yes, it’s a parody, but it’s awfully close to the ugly truth.


KFC wants you to die slowly and in great pain.

This sandwich wants to kill you...slowly and painfully.

This sandwich wants to kill you...slowly and painfully.

Here is the proof of how the fast food industry loves to keep America fat and cardiologists employed.

Gaze upon the unholy mess that is the Kentucky Fried Chicken Double Down Sandwich.  It is two chicken fillets, bacon, Pepper Jack and Swiss cheese and some goo called “the Colonel’s sauce.”     Eat one or two of these belly busters and you’re going to see the Colonel personally.

Bread?  We don’t got to give you no stinking bread.  The chicken fillets are the buns.

Your buns are where you’ll see the effects of choking down this oozing heap of artery-clogging cholesterol.  One cardiac arrest coming up!   ” Would you like a Diet Pepsi or a EKG with that, sir?”

The Doubled Over is currently being experimented—test marketed—on the poor sapiens of Providence, R.I. and Omaha, Nebraska.    No word on what this suicide sandwich costs, but the numbers that do count are 590 calories,  31 grams of fat, 190 mg of cholesterol and a unknown amount of sodium, but between all that breading, bacon, cheese and secret Colonel sauce, you’ve got to think you can put away the salt shaker.

Given a choice between slamming down a Double Down and hugging a Al Qaeda suicide vest bomber, I’d go with hugging it out.  There’s only a blinding moment of pain and then the end compared to a slow, agonizing death by congestive heart failure.  

But hell, why stop with two pieces of breaded chicken?  Any punk can chomp down on a couple pieces of chicken, bacon, cheese (and don’t forget that sauce personally squeezed out by The Colonel himself)!  We’re a big country (and getting bigger all the time) and we like our food big.   So  what about a Quadruple Down sandwich?

You don't eat it.  It eats you.

You don't eat it. It eats you.

Aw yeah, baby!  That’s what’s daddy is talkin’ about!   Why settle for a double bypass when you can have a quadruple bypass?

Can a brutha get that with some extra Colonel sauce?  Oh, and a large diet drink?

MSNBC ignores Pat Buchanan’s Hitler mancrush

Pat Buchanan: so Far-Right hes wrong.

Pat Buchanan: so Far-Right he's wrong.

Make a deal with the devil and you don’t change the devil.  The devil changes you.

But what if you’re someone who admires Adolf Hitler, the closest thing the world has ever seen to the devil in the flesh?

What if you actually wrote a column that suggests Poland started World War II and Hitler not only wanted peace, he didn’t even want to invade Russia.

You’d probably be Patrick J. Buchanan.

If Hitler wanted the world, why did he not build strategic bombers, instead of two-engine Dorniers and Heinkels that could not even reach Britain from Germany?

Why did he let the British army go at Dunkirk?

Why did he offer the British peace, twice, after Poland fell, and again after France fell?

Why, when Paris fell, did Hitler not demand the French fleet, as the Allies demanded and got the Kaiser’s fleet? Why did he not demand bases in French-controlled Syria to attack Suez? Why did he beg Benito Mussolini not to attack Greece?

Because Hitler wanted to end the war in 1940, almost two years before the trains began to roll to the camps.

~ Patrick J. Buchanan,  9-1-2009

MSNBC carried Buchanan’s column on their website  but removed it when a Jewish Democratic activist published an article on The Huffington Post  about Buchanan’s  pro-Hitler sentiments

In response to a query from Politico.com, a MSNBC spokesman said, “An editorial decision was made to remove the column from msnbc.com. Pat is a contributor to MSNBC, his syndicated column does not speak for the network or represent the views of MSNBC.”

MSNBC may rightly be embarrassed by  Buchanan’s blog entry where he defends Adolf Hitler, but they have no one but themselves to blame.   It doesn’t take a background check by a private investigator to find evidence of Buchanan’s sympathy for the Fuhrer.   All it takes is a Google search.

The Anti-Defamation League has complied entire pages devoted to Buchanan’s bigotry including his  Hitler crush such as this gushing bit of revisionism:   “Those of us in childhood during the war years were introduced to Hitler only as a caricature…Though Hitler was indeed racist and anti-Semitic to the core, a man who without compunction could commit murder and genocide, he was also an individual of great courage, a soldier’s soldier in the Great War, a leader steeped in the history of Europe, who possessed oratorical powers that could awe even those who despised him. But Hitler’s success was not based on his extraordinary gifts alone. His genius was an intuitive sense of the mushiness, the character flaws, the weakness masquerading as morality that was in the hearts of the statesmen who stood in his path.”

St. Louis Globe – Democrat, Aug 25, 1977

What’s the difference between Buchanan praising Hitler as “individual of great courage” possessing both “extraordinary gifts” and “genius” and MSNBC giving him a national platform and Louis Farrakhan calling the Fuhrer “wickedly great?”   Is it that Farrakhan is a reviled figure by the good ol’ boy mainstream media while Buchanan  is regarded as a kindred spirit who occasionally says off-the-wall things about Nazis?

But MSNBC, the supposed left-wing alternative to Fox News, doesn’t seem to care about Buchanan’s history of making inflammatory remarks defending Hitler, denigrating homosexuals, demonizing feminists and degrading minorities.   He’s “Uncle Pat” who plays the role of the crotchety curmudgeon for Rachel Maddow so she can shake her head sadly over how backwards and bigoted he is.

Buchanan is older, but he hasn’t mellowed with age like a fine wine.  If anything he’s become even more of a bitter old bigot, homophobe and anti-Semitic than he was.   As recently as June  Buchanan and Maddow argued over his opposition to affirmative action and Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination to the Supreme Court.   Even Maddow had wearied of Buchanan’s White supremacy rap, but she shouldn’t have been so naive.  As recently as March 2008 Buchanan  had reacted to Barack Obama’s speech about race and ranted where was the gratitude from Blacks for all White Americans had done for them?

…America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

(Jeremiah) Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.

Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.

Governments, businesses and colleges have engaged in discrimination against white folks — with affirmative action, contract set-asides and quotas — to advance black applicants over white applicants.

Churches, foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all over America have donated time and money to support soup kitchens, adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for blacks.

We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude?

Buchanan conveniently forgets if White Americans hadn’t set sail to enslave Black Africans in the first place, their damned “Christian salvation” wouldn’t have been necessary.

MSNBC ignored Buchanan's bigotry, but now tries to play dumb.

MSNBC needs to go further than merely removing Buchanan’s columns from their website.   He should be removed from their employment.

And why not?  What has Pat Buchanan done to justify his prominence as a political commentator?   He last job in government was 22 years ago as Ronald Reagan’s Communications Director from 1985 to 1987.   He ran for president three times, failed three times and succeeded only in solidifying the image of the Republican Party as captive to the extreme right-wing with his 1992 “culture war”  speech to the Republican National Convention.

Apparently, MSNBC thinks this perennial loser gives the perennial third place cable news network some small degree of stature.

MSNBC has given this Hitler groupie a forum for his hatred for far too long.  If  the  insufferably sanctimonious Keith Olbermann needs a worthy candidate he should nominate  Buchanan as a lifetime member of his “Worst Person in the World” list.

“This Mouse, This MARVEL” (or when Disney bought Marvel).

Wolvermouse:  He's the best at what he does.  But what he does isn't very nice.

Wolvermouse: He's the best at what he does. But what he does isn't very nice.

There are two types of people who go see comic book movies.  There’s the small minority that knows the every tiny detail and history of the superhero on the big screen because they read  comic books and then there’s the vast majority—everybody else.

When Disney purchased Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion Scrooge McDuck bucks it was only the biggest thing to happen to comic books since….well, probably since TimeWarner purchased DC Comics some 40 years earlier.   Corporations don’t purchase comic book companies because they give a damn about comic books.  Corporations purchase comic book companies because they give a damn about comic book characters.

The acquisition of Marvel was a big news story on the business page.   It was a “did you hear” moment of shock and awe across the Internet and blogosphere.    Marvel fans (aka “Marvel Zombies) are fiercely loyal and knowledgeable.  They’ve been known to get seriously bent out of shape if Spider-Man’s uniform isn’t drawn with the webbing under the arms so imagine how hot and bothered they are over the possibility of the wall-crawler pairing off with Donald Duck and Goofy.

Wolverine squaring off against Peg Leg Pete?   The Sub-Mariner swimming alongside the Little Mermaid?  The Fantastic Four vs. The Incredibles?   Face front and ’nuff said, true believers!  This is the BIG one!

Actually, comic book geeks are a pretty mellow group of guys (and a few gals).   There’s a lot of trepidation and uncertainty as to what it could mean when The House of Ideas gets absorbed by The House of Mouse.   But the fact is nobody really knows what it  could mean.

Hyuk!  Fear the wrath of Goofalactus!

Hyuk! Fear the wrath of Goofalactus!

What won’t be happening anytime soon is Disney making any movies featuring Spidey, the X-Men or Iron Man.   Those properties belong to other studios such as Paramount who hold the rights to five planned films:  Iron Man 2 (2010), Thor (2011), Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012) and Iron Man 3 (2012/2013).

Sony has three more Spider-Man flicks in production and in the pipeline and 20th Century Fox chose the day after Disney acquired Marvel to announce they were planning to relaunch the Fantastic Four and Daredevil and there are more X-Men/Wolverine flicks in the future.   As long as 20th Century Fox keeps making movies with the FF or Wolverine, the rights won’t revert back to Marvel (and Disney).

Disney didn’t spend billions of dollars because of a burning desire to turn The Great Lakes Avengers into a film franchise.   What their strategy is to buying the rights to characters they can’t make movies about for years to come isn’t immediately clear, but you can be sure the suits at Disney and Marvel behind this deal see a endgame others don’t immediately.

There is some apprehension on the part of Marvel zombies that Disney may look at the comics and want to see a kinder, gentler direction, which could signal an end to same-sex kisses, graphic acts of brutal violence and the odd sight of a super hero climbing out of a woman’s clevage.

But it’s just as likely Disney won’t meddle with Marvel’s comic line too much.   Marvel still remains the top comic company ahead of DC and since Disney wants the good will of the teenage males demographic, why fix what isn’t broken?

The only thing that is sure is for  The Punisher, Wolverine,  the Hulk and the 7000 Marvel characters that now belong to Disney, it’s Mickey Mouse’s world and they’re living in it.