Tiger’s Car Crash Controversy: A Crack Up or Jump Off?

How's your Muscle of Love, these days Tiger?

Why should anybody care about Tiger Woods’ inability to back a Escalade out of his own driveway without cracking it up over a fire hydrant and a tree?   Because until he stops ducking the cops and the press and explains what exactly happened, he’s going to find himself the subject of speculation that the accident was prompted by a  violent spat between himself and his wife over allegations of him cheating on her. 

Much has made of the fact that while most of the mainstream media has avoided even a hint of marital difficulties playing a role in Tiger’s early morning flight from Casa de Woods,  celebrity gossip sites such as TMZ.com and The National Enquirer have been all over it.  While TMZ.com and the National Enquirer are hardly bastions of journalistic integrity, they aren’t always wrong either as they were both ahead of the mainstream media on Michael Jackson’s death and John Edwards screwing around.

Even a cursory look at the events indicates some big holes in Tiger’s story.  He may have nothing to hide, but he sure doesn’t seem like he wants to go on the record with the Florida police either.   He must still be hopped up on prescription meds or concussed from the accident if he thinks issuing a  vague, details-free and self-serving “explanation” on his website is going to make this all just go away.

Woods wouldn’t be the first supposedly squeaky clean guy to tip around on his wife.  Rachel Uchitel, “the other woman” of this domestic drama, has denied having an affair with Woods.   She flew into L.A. to huddle up with celebrity attorney Gloria Allred and has threatened to sue the Enquirer, a prospect that probably has them high-fiving each other from all the publicity it would give the story.

Uchitel, apparently is not a stranger to being the chick on the side as she supposedly played that part for Bones actor David Boreanaz, who was tipping around on his pregnant wife at the time.

So this isn’t her first time at the rodeo.  Allegedly.

Rachel Uchitel

"I got too much class to be a booty call."

As Chris Rock said, “A man is only as faithful as his options.”  Tiger is a young, wealthy, good-looking man who travels the world.   He’s also a Black man who draws the attention without trying of White women.  Golfers have groupies too.   Tiger has a LOT of options if he wants them.

That doesn’t make it right.  It just means he’s capable of doing the wrong thing.

When you’re a wealthier than God, entitled, pampered, and privileged athlete/entertainer like Tiger or Magic or Kobe or Tiger’s buddy Michael Jordan, you’re not hurting for sex partners.   We can all sit in our ivory towers and say what we WON’T do, but we’d be smarter to say what we RATHER NOT do. 

Maybe this will help Tiger wise up a bit and realize there really isn’t that much difference between him and any other rich jock whom even if he isn’t on the hunt for a chick on the side isn’t being hunted by chicks on the side.

If Tiger has nothing he needs to apologize for then he should stop canceling out speaking to the cops and not issue “explanations” that read like a lawyer proofed it first.  If he cheated on his wife that’s not my business.  Just don’t tell me it’s not news.  When one of the most transformative athletes and best known celebrities in the world cracks up his Escalade at 2:00 am under odd circumstances, it’s N-E-W-S.

When Tiger lends his name to Gilette razors, Buick automobiles and Nike shoes, he’s not just selling a product; he’s asking for people to trust him.   There are plenty of  other fine choices for razors, cars and shoes, but Tiger wants us to buy the ones he endorses.   When we do we’ve given him our trust and he’s handsomely rewarded by the sponsors for doing so. 

But if Tiger is a liar and deceiver in his most personal relationships, why should anyone believe what he says about anything?   Why is it anyone’s business but his own?  If he had said, “Look, this is a private matter between my wife and me and it’s got nothing to do with golf,  and that’s all I’ve got to say about it,”  Tiger would have shut off all the air to this little brush fire.  Instead he retreated into spin mode and started stonewalling.  Now it looks like he’s lawyering up and has something to hide.  You’d think a man who claims nothing happened wouldn’t be so scared to say it out loud.

He doesn’t owe the public the most intimate details of his private life.   But he does owe them an honest explanation of the events and he’s yet to offer one.   The best way for Tiger to clear away the clouds is to get in front of the story, speak up and stop stonewalling. 

Tiger Woods has always carefully crafted his image and how the world perceives him.  His silence now only permits others to craft that image to their own liking.   I can’t imagine a man like Tiger who places such a high value on controlling his environment and imposing his will being comfortable with that.

"I did NOT have relations with that woman!"