A Couple of Things I Know For Sure (Absolutely Maybe)

Meryl and Sandy next flick? "Let's Play Les."

 

Tonight the Academy Awards are handed out, or “The Gay Man’s Superbowl” as a gay man once told me.   In the Best Actress race between Meryl Streep who gets nominated just by walking in front of a camera and Sandra Bullock,  both have put together an impressive body of work without possessing  impressive bodies.  

Meryl and Sandra are probably someone’s romantic daydream, just not mine.  Sandra is still rocking that pug-nosed cute chick thing and Meryl cleans up nicely, but as far as where either of them fall on the “hot or not” scale,  do either one of them make it past the elimination rounds to the winner’s circle.   Naaaah…not so much. 

After Mo’nique wins Best Supporting Actress, Morgan Freeman and Precious director Lee Daniels can settle back for the rest of the night.   This is not going to be a night for the brothers.  

I’ve seen The Hurt Locker and I haven’t seen Avatar, so I’m a bit more invested in one film over the other.  My feeling is Kathryn Bigelow wins Best Director while her ex, James Cameron takes the little gold man home for Avatar.    While Bigelow is well-deserving of the honor, her movie feels small like an indie flick that got the heart of critics jump-started but not audiences (as it’s $12 million haul at the box office indicates).   Hollywood likes to break down barriers and if Bigelow doesn’t end the shut-out of women directors,  how much longer will it have to go?  Plus,  The Hurt Locker is really good, so for Bigelow to win wouldn’t be an act of tokenism or political correctness. 

How it is a film can be named “the Best” while the person who directed it goes home a loser never made any sense to me.   Then again, forget it Jake.  It’s Hollywood.   It’s supposed to make cents, not sense. 

Kathryn, Oscar and James.  Three-way, anyone? 

A year ago, Ben Roetheslisberger was hoisting the Lombardi trophy above his head having quarterbacked the Pittsburgh Steelers to a Super Bowl victory.   these days he seems to spend most of his time being accused of behaving badly around women.  Like sexually assaulting them.  

What kind of moron do you have to be to put yourself in this kind of situation while you’re trying to fight civil charges on the same thing? Roethelisberger is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, but his reckless behavior looks guilty as hell in the court of public opinion.  

Why did the “worldwide leader in sports” aka ESPN, wait some three hours before reporting on its website Roethelisberger was accused of sexual assault while SI.com, Fox Sports, Pro Football Talk, Deadspin, The Huffington Post and CBS Sportsline didn’t delay reporting the allegation?   There’s nothing wrong in exercising restraint before going with a story, but this isn’t the first time ESPN has sat on a story about Big Ben’s women troubles.  

Maybe if he were Black and played for the Cincinnati Bengals they would have.  

Roethelisberger hasn’t been charged with anything by authorities.  From what the accounts of some witnesses, he was a chick magnet (sex appeal is in the eye and loins of the beholder), so this may turn out to be nothing but a “he said/she said” scenario.    Tie goes to the quarterback. 

Big Ben Roethelisberger gets ready to show off Little Ben.

 

But if Big Ben wants to stay out of courtrooms  he might want to find more sedate forms of entertainment until he settles his pending civil suits.   Maybe stay home with a pizza and some brews and playing Madden.    Bad boys get spanked and Big Ben is being a very naughty boy.   Stay out of the bars,  carry any firearms, inject any steroids, buy any pit bulls or try to  make it rain on strippers and he should be reaching under center for the Steelers next season instead of bending for the soap.      

It’s been a rotten season for Allen Iverson. Busted out of two teams, injured most of the season and now finished for the rest of it and probably done as a NBA baller,  taking time off for sick daughter and now his wife is suing for divorce. A reason why might be this passage from “It’s No Secret” a kiss-and-more-than-kissing-tell-all by Carmen Bryan,  who used to ride both the jocks of Jay-Z and Nas and a self-described, “Hip-hop Helen of Troy”, (which sounds much classier than skank) took time out from screwing rappers to say about the tattooed baller: 

Allen was lean and muscled, a warrior, with tattoos and battle scars. Just looking at him got me excited. His body was scrumptious. His kiss was intoxicating and I felt like I was melting. Our antics took us from one side of the bed to the other. I couldn’t get enough of this man. He was so physically strong he thought nothing of picking me up and creating the most erotic of poses. When he finally possessed me I was so ready. He filled me completely and our rhythm was perfect. Allen was average in size but his gift was girth and technique. His sliding and swerving thrusts hit me in spots I didn’t know I had. And this was only round one.” 

“Girth and technique?”   “Sliding and swerving thrusts?”   

Yep. That might give wifey a reason to kick you to the curb. 

The Answer may have run out of them.

 

As an Iverson fan, it hurts to see the little big man limp away from the game he’s given so much to looking like an aging baller plagued by arthritis in his knees, his body breaking down and a stubborn inability to change his style of play to fit into a team concept of basketball.   Everyone but the clueless fans that voted A.I. on the All-Star team knew he didn’t really deserve it, but that’s a testimony to how popular Iverson is with fans.   Even when his game and star is in decline, he remains a name brand in a NBA full of “superstars” with all the appeal of cold pizza. 

There are reports Iverson has issues with gambling and alcohol.    Others say his body is too beat up and his mind too set upon only being a starter for Iverson ever to step on a NBA court again.   Whatever the reasons are behind it, the downward arc of Iverson’s career has been no fun to watch.    

I don’t  rule  out Iverson attempting a comeback next season.   But I’d rather he hang it up with some of dignity intact instead of  jacking up jump shots in some dead zone like Indiana or Sacramento because he can’t move on to the next phase of his life.   It’s better to be missed than for people to wish you’d just go away.

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2 thoughts on “A Couple of Things I Know For Sure (Absolutely Maybe)

  1. Why does it seem that in order for African Americans to win an Oscar, you need to be disgusting(Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball, Monique in Precious), despicable (Denzel in Training Days) or play the fool(Cuba Gooding Jr in Jerry Maguire)? Talk amongst yourselves!

  2. Positive images are rare indeed.

    You can decide for yourself about Hattie McDaniels image. But Louis Gossett, Sidney Poitier, Jamie Foxx, Whoopi Goldberg,Jennifer Hudson, Morgan Freeman, Forrest Whitaker, and Denzel in Glory were not really considered negative roles.

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