Tick-Tock, 49ers are on the clock.

Know what you won't see next year in San Francisco? Either of these guys.

“As far as our football team, there’s no doubt in my mind, somehow, someway, we will regroup and we will keep fighting and we will make a season of it. And I still believe we can go to the playoffs. I still believe we can get those things done. We just have to get the right things in place and go from there.”

~ Samurai Mike Singletary after the game and off his meds as the feeble 49ers sunk to 1-6 losing 23-20 to the previously winless Carolina Panthers.

Singletary’s remarks are as far removed from reality as those by the brat owner, Jed York, who declared the 49ers would win the division and reach the playoffs.  Would somebody take the lotion from them and hand them a towel because playoffs this year are a wet dream.

I’m starting to come around to the distressing realization being a fan of the San Francisco 49ers is like being stuck in an abusive relationship.   Remembering when times were good  keeps you hanging oneven though times haven’t been good for a long while.   In this case, it’s been 16 long years since the 49ers won a Super Bowl.  I have the sick feeling at this rate it could take another 16 years before they get bacl to another one

It hurts to admit it, but I drank the Kool-Aid.  The 49er brain trust came selling me a fantasy and I bought it.  I believed this year’s model of the Niners had what it takes to make the playoffs.  Not go very far in the playoffs, but after a previous season where Samurai Mike drove an untalented team to a 8-8 record though the sheer force of his personality, I bought into the bullshit that the 49ers had added enough pieces to take the next step.  Playoffs, baby!

Now I wonder what this season might have bee if instead of signing confirmed losers like David Carr and Troy Smith, the Niners had gone after Donovan McNabb when he put on the market.   Somehow I can envision McNabb having considerably more success throwing to targets like Vernon Davis and Michael Crabtree and handing the ball to a bruiser like Frank Gore than the hapless Alex Smith.  Oh well, Smith will probably be happier when he’s playing elsewhere next season as a backup than a starter.

My approach to the final nine games is to go out there and try to do our very best to kick, scratch, claw and fight like hell to get that overall Number One draft pick away from Buffalo.  WE. CAN. DO.  IT!

Because really, nobody’s worse than the Forty Whiners.  Yeah, they have won a game and the Bills are still looking for their first victory, but does anyone seriously think this team could have battled the Ravens toe-to-toe for 60 minutes and narrowly lose by a field goal in overtime?

Detroit is bad but they have Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and a better backup QB

in Shaun “Thrown Away” Hill.  Bufalo is bad, but at least they play hard and have the

misfortune to the be in a division with the Jets, Patriots and Dolphins.  Cleveland is bad, but they beat the Saints.  The 49ers bragged and swaggered after they almost-but-not-quite-beat the Saints.

Carolina is bad but since they beat us they’re better than us.

I’ve seen every game of the Niners have played during this bad nightmare of a lost season and know this is not a team that fights back when it gets hit hard in the mouth and knocked down.  The Forty Whiners  curl up in a ball and cover up hoping  they don’t get kicked in the nuts while they’re down.

Detroit has sucked hard for so long its hard to remember when they haven’t but they have young talent in Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson and a better head coach.   There seems to be a plan in place in Detroit to build up their talent pool via the draft, grab a few free agents and take their lumps now in hopes it will pay off later.   It might even work.  Buffalo is in the same boat butat least they play hard.  They have the misfortune to the least talented team in a division with the Jets, Patriots and Dolphins.  Relocate the Bills to Los Angeles, put them in the NFC West and within a year or two they’ll own it.  Cleveland has a tougher schedule and perhaps less talent than any team in the league, but they play hard, hustle and are prone to pull off a surprise  such as the butt-whipping they laid on the Saints, a team the 49ers bragged about “almost” beating.  Carolina is really bad but since they beat the Niners that elevates them a notch.

The 49ers have to depend on a used Carr.

Even  in his fog of denial, Samurai Mike has to know by now he’s a dead coach walking.  He won’t be warding off vampires with that huge cross around his neck next season while rocking 49er gear.  Sing has been exposed as a great motivator of men and a lousy leader of them.   Too bad really because I like the guy but never having been a head coach on any level has finally caught up with him.

Samurai Mike is a master of the motivational speech, but he’s not a strategist or a tactician and when you’re not, you’d better have assistant coaches who are.  The Niners don’t and that’s yet another reason why they’re as bad as they are.

It’s one of those seasons in the NFL when there are a few good teams, no great ones, a lot of mediocre ones and some really bad ones.  It’s no surprise to find the Bills, Panthers and Lions in the one-or-none wins teams, but to find the 49ers and Cowboys hanging around with the dregs of the league is a bit of a shock.

Next up, the Niners trip across the pond to play a Denver Broncos team that got ripped to shreds, 59-14, by the Oakland Raiders, who were beaten by the Niners the week before.  If Singletary drops this game and falls to 1-7 as the 49ers go into their bye week I could see the owners firing him and allowing one of the coordinators to finish the season.

The San Francisco 29ers are the worst team in the NFL and they can hear two very loud sounds: their season officially flushed down the crapper and the voice of Commissioner Roger Goodell telling them they have ten minutes to make the first pick in next year’s NFL Draft.

Officially, they have nine more games.  Unofficially, they are on the clock.

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2 thoughts on “Tick-Tock, 49ers are on the clock.

  1. 31 other teams have 0 sympathy for the 49ers. Kind of puts me in mind of Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross- “nice guy? I don’t give a shit.” Seriously, I think the team has a lot of talent that may be realized before much longer. Too late for this season? I don’t know. 8 wins may win the NFC West Maybe Troy smith will get them going and save their season. Their remain schedule is as soft as the middle of a jelly doughnut.

    Fear the elf!

    • Because of the weirdness of the 49ers schedule even with only one win, they still have five games left to play in the woeful NFC West. It’s not likely they can cobble together enough wins to make the playoffs (PLAYOFFS?!), but they might string together enough victories to save Singletary’s sorry ass. But it’s like a 49ers beat reporter said after this latest loss: And now the 49ers are stuck at 1-6, with a lame duck coach who doesn’t know what to do about a QB or an offense, a young owner who chirps about winning the division, who has to build a new stadium…

      And there are no answers. Except that they have to hire a GM, if they dare, and an offensive-minded coach, and then figure out what they will do at QB.

      That’s just the first of many things to fix and the first of lots of fire-able offenses for Singletary, who’s abilities as a motivator have been exhausted and who has zero ability as a tactician–in a tactician’s league.

      I like the guy, he has done some good things with the locker room and he’s not a fraud, but this experiment is over.

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