Why Are We Listening to Steve Harvey?

"I'm an expert. Because I say I am."

It’s great if you can find success in two different and unrelated skill sets but Steve Harvey is a comedian.  Why does anyone take his shtick as a relationship counselor seriously?

It’s no joke though.  His syndicated radio program reaches an audience six million and as the New York Times reported in a flattering profile, his book, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man” was on the New York Times best-seller list for two years and held down Number One for 23 weeks.   A movie based on the book is in production and the sequel, “Straight Talk, No Chaser” debuted in the top spot in the Times’s advice list.

It’s good to be Steve Harvey.  What’s not so good is the backlash.  Harvey’s ex-wife, Mary Harvey went the viral video route and aired the funnyman’s dirty laundry of affairs, infidelity and betrayal.     In an interview on The Tom Joyner Show, Mary Harvey explained why she broke her silence about the marriage.

“…Steve insists in bringing me up publicly and making me the heavy in the breakup of our marriage, what I want the public to be is more informed about this man that they are calling the relationship expert and the love guru. People need to understand who it is that they’re dealing with. In using the media to promote his book, once again, that’s a show of power. I want this to be public because I didn’t want Steve to think that I was weak, and I was powerless, and I was voiceless so that he could keep doing me the way he wanted to do me,”  Mary Harvey said.

What does the “love guru” have to say about this?   Nothing, really.   He will square off against his ex-wife in a Texas court next week as a judge considers whether Mary Harvey has violated an injunction preventing her from talking about the divorce in the media or internet.

“Some men say it ain’t always about sex.  They lying…it’s always about sex and the other shit is just a bi-product”, Harvey writes in  “Act Like A Man…”

People actually pay good money to be told this?

Guess I’ll have to put the moves on all my platonic female friends since I’m a Black man like Steve Harvey and I gotta be as big a dog as he is.

Except I’m NOT a Black man like Steve Harvey.

I have a theory why Harvey doesn’t have any female friends.  Maybe he doesn’t really like women all that much (he certainly doesn’t respect them) and lets the little head do the thinking for him and not the big head.

You wouldn’t trust an unmarried marriage counselor for advice on how to fix your relationship, so why are so many Black women trusting a comedian on his third marriage to tell them how to fix theirs?

I’m tired of Harvey’s b.s. Really, really tired of it.  Here we have a born again “expert” on who filed a cease-and-desist order against his ex-wife and boasts how he has no female friends. He adds 99.9 of men–including those who do have female friends–are hoping that woman will give them “a crack” they can slip into and nail them.

If first you don't succeed, try, try again--and write books about it.

Misogyny by any other name still stinks.    Harvey’s “advice” seems to be coming not from an earnest wish to enlighten Black women and men about their issues and more about making a buck off of folks who have been unlucky at love.  He has too but  found a way to profit from it.

With all due respect to Mr. Harvey, he is a failure when it comes to relationships. I observe my 30th year of marriage, but I don’t style myself as any sort of authority nor am I about to pen any books.  Marriage is hard, damn work and every day you have to be on the job.    He’s an expert on HIS life as a man. He doesn’t know anything about ME as a man.

If anything, Steve needs to sit his butt down and let ME tell HIM, “Look brutha. This is how you do it…”  I’m vaguely uncomfortable with self-styled “experts” whose expertise is limited to their life experience.

It was one thing when Harvey was selling a line of suits and ties.   How Harvey has reinvented himself as an expert on male/female relationships despite his messy track record with women himself is bizarre    Why does anyone think a guy who boasts he has no female friends and has failed with women repeatedly become the go-to guy for advice on how fix a failing relationship?

People are free to read whatever books they want and support whom they like. I don’t find anything remotely admirable about anyone who builds themselves up by standing on top of someone else the way Steve Harvey is doing Mary Harvey.  

I’m sure she’s no angel and has her own flaws, but reinventing herself as a relationship guru isn’t one of them.  What makes Steve Harvey any kind of expert?  Because he’s a serial cheater and has messed up relationships with women?   ANY fool can do that.

There’s a market for men telling women the “secrets” of what men really think about women, but it’s all just a scam to worm their way into their purses–and it’s working.    If  Steve Harvey wants to tell a joke I’ll listen.  Otherwise he’s just another hustler working a hustle.

4 thoughts on “Why Are We Listening to Steve Harvey?

  1. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can’t believe that no one has commented on this.

    I am so GLAD to see someone sound off on this ignorant jackass. I am a black woman and I completely agree that as far as his comedic talent goes, he is okay; he gets a laugh out of me. But this “advice” he is giving is total bullshit.

    Unfortunately, I think he is just perpetuating gender stereotypes and role-playing where women play momma to immature men. I think it is disgusting. Bravo for you post here.


    • really good point. all men care about is sex and the way to a man’s heart is sex and SEX SEX SEX is all i hear from him. talk about “lies” perpetuated about the male gender. ugh, this post nails it on the head. he talks generally about all men and women when the only experience he has is HIS OWN. how big an expert is that? i saw a whole dr. oz show imploring him for advice on relationships…they spent about 2 minutes per relationship/problem. you could tell dr. oz himself was inwardly rolling his eyes a bit – i especially loved the part about how a cheating man is simply unhappy in his marriage. that’s the biggest crock i ever heard and def. something a CHEATER WOULD say. i can identify sexism when i hear it, no matter how dressed up it is in supposedly expert, helpful psycho-babble.


  2. This writer couldn’t have said it any better!!!! Steve Harvey is a continuous cheater who tries to come up with any and all excuses for men to do what they do wrong. And impressionable people are eating it up unfortunately. Women and men keep your money in your pocket and your head on swivel please! He is making money on his own stupid outdated opinions and his life. He is not a love expert and because of his cheating ways, is far from it! Stop listening to this lying cheating hustler! I feel sorry for his ex wives. And Bernie Mac was a good husband and father and a better comedian!


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