Mike Huckabee’s Wingnut Week

You see a cute squirrel. Huck sees lunch.

There are things to like about Mike Huckabee even if you dislike his solidly conservative politics.  He doesn’t hate President Obama.  He defended First Lady Michelle Obama from idiots like Sarah Palin from the cheap shots they directed at her anti-obesity efforts (a topic near and dear Huckabee’s own heart having shed 110 pounds).  Huckabee is an ordained Southern Baptist minister who pressed for all-White churches to allow Black members and says it is wrong that inner-city Blacks get harsher sentences than Whites for the same crime.

Huckabee is a smart guy whose smarts are underrated due to his “aw shucks” Forrest Gump speaking style, hanging out with aging tough guy Chuck Norris and admissions he once fried squirrel meat in a popcorn popper.   Misunderestimate him at your peril.  Huckabee is extremely perceptive when he wants to be. He can even be a nice guy.  What he can’t be is both at the same time when he goes into initial presidential campaign mode as some polls have him as the slight favorite for the GOP nomination.

Yet, he has wisely observed the difficulty any Republican candidate will have in defeating President Obama when he said on ABC’s Good Morning America, “You don’t beat presidents easily and this idea he’s just an absolute one-term and easy to beat—this race is going to be like climbing a ladder, pointing toward you, because Barack Obama is going to start this race with a billion dollars, he’s going to have no primary opponent.”

Huckabee wants to have it both ways on the “Obama wasn’t born here” Birther nonsense.  At one point he’s saying in the same interview on ABC, “I just don’t think it’s completely necessary for us to delve into such extraneous matters.   And I’ll tell you, the idea that he’s not a citizen–you know why that’s nonsense?  Because if there was a shred of truth to it, Hillary Clinton and her wonderful investigative opposition research team would have found it and used it.  And for Republicans to be even bringing it up, I think it’s a waste of energy and time.  Let’s focus on the issues with which we have disagreement, not on really the extraneous personal things that are immaterial.”

"Freak On A Leash?" You got it!

Sounds like a reasonable man, but, you can’t count on Republicans being reasonable for long.   A few weeks after saying Birther rap was “nonsense” and “immaterial” he goes on a conservative talk show and in response to a question whether the former governor of Arkansas was troubled that “we don’t  have a health record, we don’t have a college record, we don’t have a birth certificate” for the president.

“I would love to know more,” Huckabee replied, “What I know is troubling enough.”

“If you think about it, his perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather,” Huckabee continued, “their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different that ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British were a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather.”

The president was born in Hawaii in 1961 and grew up there.  He would later spend several years in Indonesia and did not visit Kenya until later in life.  His father abandoned him and his mother when Barack was two years old. 

A Huckabee mouthpiece said his boss didn’t mean to infer the prez wasn’t born in America and “clarified his remarks.”  Problem solved, right?  Nope.  Huckabee, who’s pimping a book about small government nobody is going to read, went on another right-wing radio show and gave a “what-you-think-I-said-is-not-what-I-meant” explanation.

Bryan Fischer:  Well, Governor, what got lost in all the shuffle was the legitimate point that you were making which is that we may have a president who has some fundamentally anti-American ideas that may be rooted in a childhood where he had a father who was virulently anti-colonial, hated the British, might have something to do with the President returning the bust of Winston Churchill back to England.  You know, I was struck by the fact that when he made his tour to Indonesia, he made a point of going to an Indonesian memorial that celebrated the victory of Indonesians over British troops–again, part of that anti-colonial thing.   And so, I’d like you to comment on that; you seem to think there is some validity to the fact that there may be some fundamental anti-Americanism in this president.

Huckabee:  Well, that’s exactly the point that I make in the book and I don’t know what these reporters—maybe they can’t read, I guess that’s part of it because it’s clearly spelled out and I’m quoting a British newspaper who really were expressing the outrage of the Brits over that bust being returned and the point was that they felt like that due to Obama’s father and grandfather, it could be that his version and view of the Mau Mau Revolution was very different than most of the people who perhaps would grow up in the United States.   And I have said many times, publicly, that I do think he has a different worldview, and I think it is, in part, molded out of a very different experience.  Most of us grew up going to Boy Scout meetings and, you know, our communities were filled with Rotary Clubs, not madrassas.

How much clearer can you say, “Hey White folks, this Barry Obama guy?  He’s a militant Black guy who didn’t grow up here, hates the Boy Scouts and Rotary Clubs and White people too!” 

As regards Obama removing the bust of Churchill from the Oval Office and sending it back across the pond to the Brits?  It didn’t happen that way.  It was loaned by ex-British prime minister Tony Blair to ex-President George Bush in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks.  When the Obama Administration came in they replaced Churchill with a more decidedly American hero.  Was it Martin Luther King?   Malcolm X?   Rick James?

Close, but it is a bust of the Great Emancipator (and Republican) Abraham Lincoln now adorning the Oval Office.  Boy, that Obama, First it’s Reagan and now Lincoln; he’s always co-opting Republican icons.

First Huckabee “clarifies” his remarks about Obama, then doubles down with the Muslim dog whistle and now he’s picking on tiny preggers Oscar winners.  The Huckster hit another right-wing radio show (this is becoming a running gag now) and found a new enemy of American values.  Natalie Portman. 

Natalie Portman causes unwed pregnancies. Huh? What?

MEDVED:Well this was a – this was a low audience. However, there was – there was one moment where a very brilliant and admirable actress named Natalie Portman won Best Actress, and she won for a movie which I loathed called Black Swan. But in any event, she got up, she was very visibly pregnant, and it’s really it’s a problem because she’s about seven months pregnant, it’s her first pregnancy, and she and the baby’s father aren’t married, and before two billion people, Natalie Portman says, ‘Oh I want to thank my love and he’s given me the most wonderful gift.’ He didn’t give her the most wonderful gift, which would be a wedding ring! And it just seems to me that sending that kind of message is problematic. 

HUCKABEE: You know Michael, one of the things that’s troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts of, ‘Hey look, you know, we’re having children, we’re not married, but we’re having these children, and they’re doing just fine.’ But there aren’t really a lot of single moms out there who are making millions of dollars every year for being in a movie. And I think it gives a distorted image that yes, not everybody hires nannies, and caretakers, and nurses. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that’s the story that we’re not seeing, and it’s unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out of children wedlock.

You know, right now, 75 percent of black kids in this country are born out of wedlock. 61 percent of Hispanic kids — across the board, 41 percent of all live births in America are out of wedlock births. And the cost of that is simply staggering.

MEDVED: It’s tremendously staggering.

What’s even more “tremendously staggering” is neither of these moralizing morons know that Portman is engaged to marry her fiance in a matter of weeks.   On one hand Huckabee is perceptive enough to know the distressingly high rate of out of wedlock births, but dumb enough to suggest it’s all Natalie Portman fault.

If Huckabee is going to continue running off at the mouth without knowing the facts before he does, let’s just stop now and change the first initial of his last name from an “H” to a “F” because he’s fucking up royally this week. 

Huck’s never been accused of being the smartest guy in the room, but this week he’s laying claim to being the dumbest.

"Fried squirrel on a stick? Pass some over here, dawg."