Donald Trump and the Art of the (Raw) Deal

Never mind Obama's birth certificate. Where was your hair born, Donny?

A few things to mention about  Donald Trump running for president.  He’s not.  Like Bill Cosby says, he’s only running his mouth.   If he gets us to pay attention, he wins.  He’s on a winning streak and the only thing that will mess it up is for him to actually try to take away Barack Obama’s job.

As many laughs as it would be to watch President Trump’s State of the Union where he tells all 538 members of Congress, “you’re all fired.”  it’s just not happening.    He doesn’t want to be president.   He only wants everyone to hang on his every word as if he just might.

One way to generate a buzz is to start talking up the throughly bat-shit crazy Birther bunk.  Does Trump really believe Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii?   Who knows?   More importantly, who cares?   Why is Trump any more credible than Orly Taitz or Alan Keyes?   Because he’s rich and they’re not?

When even Bill O’Reilly says, “We’re going to put this to bed tonight.  He does have a legitimate birth certificate.  The state of Hawaii says they have it.  And we have no reason not to believe that,” that is a sure sign even Fox News isn’t buying what Trump is selling.

Is Trump running for president?  Nope.  He’s not even seriously TALKING about running for president.  What he IS doing is getting people to TALK seriously about him running.   If he were to actually win the nomination he wouldn’t choose a vice-president.  He wouldn’t even need a Cabinet.  He would run the government all by himself.  His King Kong sized ego would never allow an important decision be made by anyone not named Donald Trump..

Can anyone envision Candidate Comb Over standing in the cold of an Iowa farm trying to get a farmer with manure on his boots to shake his hand?  Can you imagine The Donald standing on stage with a dozen other GOP zombies trying to explain how they would handle the Libya situation and piping up, “I totally SCREWED the guy (Gaddafi)!”

Presidential candidates have to be two things as much as possible:  disciplined and on message.   Trump could never do that for as long as he would have to make a serious noise in the primary.  It doesn’t matter how popular he is or how well he’s doing in Republican polling.   Polls at this stage are more than useless.   They reflect name recognition as much as anything else.  Trump saw the high numbers of Republicans questioning where the president was born and saw an opening to squirm into.

“I know this.  I will be better than anybody.  If I decide to run, I will do the best job.  I will best for this country.  And you might say, ‘Oh gee, that doesn’t sound like George Washington.’ Well, guess what?   Before George Washington ran, he didn’t sound like George Washington either.  I will…do a great job, if I run and if I win.”  The Donald said in one of his many pushing-Charlie-Sheen-out-of-the-headlines interviews.

A unserious man for serious times

I’m going to waaaaaayy out on a limb and say this with total and complete confidence: the Republican candidate squaring off Obama in 2012 will not be any heat-seeking drama queens named Palin, Bachmann or Trump.   It will be some boring (but electable) White guy like Tiny Tim Pawlenty, Midget Mitch Daniels or Corpulent Chris Christie.

Donald Trump, the biggest booster of Birtherism is playing upon conservative White suspcions that Obama isn’t really one of us (so he must be one of them, nudge-nudge, wink-wink).

The other thing is always be wary of White guys who boast of their “great relationship with the Blacks.”

I just asked The Blacks about Trump. Nice couple. Live a couple doors down from me. Wave at ’em when they pass by walking the dog. They said, “Trump is a idiot and Bill Cosby was right.”

Donald Trump, welcome to your Ross Perot moment.

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