A Father, Not A “Baby Daddy.”

The father who made my Father's Days possible.

This is my father Truman Winbush Sr.  He passed away four years ago and I don’t  recall him saying he loved me or any of my siblings.  Not once.  I knew he did love us, but he was not a man who would readily admit to it.

That was a mistake on his part and one I have not repeated with my own kids.

Not every lesson you learn from your father is always a positive one.

You know something?  There are plenty of songs written about mothers.  There’s not a lot of good songs about being a father.   I can think of a few, but “Daddy, Don’t You Run So Fast” really doesn’t get it.   Then  I rummaged through the dusty back pages of my memory banks, I remembered an obscure little song, “I Think I’ll Color Him Father” by a one-hit wonder named The Winstons.   It’s a little corny (okay, it’s a LOT corny), but it’s saying something positive about being a daddy and we Black fathers deserve a break at least one day a year.

There’s a man at my house he’s so big and strong
He goes to work each day, stays all day long
He comes home each night looking tired and beat
He sits down at the dinner table and has a bite to eat
Never a frown always a smile
When he says to me how’s my child
I’ve been studying hard all day in school
Tryin to understand the golden rule

Think I’ll color this man father
I think I’ll color him love
Said I’m gonna color him father
I think I’ll color the man love, yes I will

He says education is the thing if you wanna compete
Because without it son, life ain’t very sweet
I love this man I don’t know why
Except I’ll need his strength till the day that I die
My mother loves him and I can tell
By the way she looks at him when he holds my little sister Nell
I heard her say just the other day
That if it hadn’t been for him she wouldn’t have found her way
My real old man he got killed in the war
And she knows she and seven kids couldn’t of got very far
She said she thought that she could never love again
And then there he stood with that big wide grin
He married my mother and he took us in
And now we belong to the man with that big wide grin

Think I’ll color this man father
I think I’ll color him love
Said I’m gonna color him father
I think I’ll color the man love, yes I will

The flip side of Father’s Day is there are too many men who will not, can not or don’t know how to be a father.   The theme song for them is “Papa Was A Rolling Stone,” the greatest “you ain’t handling your bizness” putdown ever recorded.

Nobody said it was easy and it can be harder than a frozen Slim Jim in the Arctic, but there are too many kids growing up with no daddies in their lives.  So grow up, man up and step up.

Being a father is much cooler than being a baby daddy.

That’s one of the lessons my father taught me that was a positive one.

So for all you Daddies holding it down and handling your business enjoy your big piece of chicken.  You got it coming..

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One thought on “A Father, Not A “Baby Daddy.”

  1. Granted Truman Winbush Sr. was not a man who expressed his feeling easily, but he told me he loved me many times. Granted it was once I was older and had my own kids, but as he aged he mellowed a lot. He showed us his love by being there for us. I never doubted dad loved us all. He was a man of his times and he told me his father never told him he loved him. But I’m very sure grandpaw loved him very much. Dad was one of a kind and we will never know anyone quite like him again. I love him and miss him. I pray he rests in peace.

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