Mark Halperin’s Dick Move

Mark Halperin is a snappy dresser.

What happens when you say the President of the United States is acting like “a dick?”

Not much if you’re a smart-ass political analyst with a big mouth. a small brain and a forum to air your stupidity.   Mark Halperin of TIME magazine and regular contributor to MSNBC’s Morning Joe rolled a verbal  hand grenade in the general direction of President Obama in response to his press conference this week.

Halperin: “Do we have the seven-second delay today? I want to characterize how I thought the President behaved?”

Brzezinski: “We have it. [To producer] We can use it, right?”

Scarborough: “Yeah, sure, come one, take a chance. Have faith.”

Brzezinski: “Let’s see what happens.”

Scarborough: “I’m behind you. You fall down. I’m gonna catch you.”

Brzezinski:” And the precedent has been set on the show, so you’re good”, [referring to his 2008 F-bomb on the air, which resulted in MSNBC instituting the seven second delay].

Halperin: “I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday.”

Scarborough: “Oh my God. Delay that! Delay that! What are you doing? I can’t believe you. I was joking! Don’t do that! Did we delay that?”

Next we get the same old weak apologies and the same old weak banishment to the time-out corner.  It’s just all soooooo predictable.

It’s doesn’t go far enough. Halperin has appeared on television many times and if he doesn’t know how to regulate his brain before something crude and ignorant slips out of his pie hole then he’s the real dick here.

TIME should fire his dumb ass. NOW

It’s not a giant leap forward in racial equality when some idiot goes on a morning show and says the President of the United States is acting like “a dick.”

How does a dick act anyway? Limp? Drooping? Rigid? Firm?

Walter Cronkite never had to be taken off the air for insulting the president. Good and professional journalists never had to be suspended for such boorish behavior.  Now its expected and usually shrugged off as no big deal.   Standards fall and it seems if anyone points out how far and fast they have fallen, they are told they are the one with the problem.

It’s not much of a punishment to tell a talking head he’s been punished by not being paid to talk. Examples need to be made and MSNBC has a high recidivism rate of offenders who do this crap repeatedly..

"I LIKE dicks!"

Halperin placed in the Number Two spot on Salon’s hack pundits list last year. Does he have his heart set on grabbing the top spot in 2011?

When you have a wacky “cocktail party” morning show where “anything can happen,” sometimes what will happen — especially if your guest list features a lot of useless tools like Mark Halperin — is that someone will call the president a “dick” because he thinks it’s endearingly naughty. There was even a big, smirky buildup to Halperin calling the president a “dick.” It didn’t just slip out. Everyone got really excited that Halperin was about to use a bad word, because these people are children, and Halperin looked very pleased with himself after he said the bad word on the TV. Chuckle chuckle chuckle! Faux-outrage! Fun and high jinks! High-quality political analysis, everyone.

I don’t care what Halperin calls Barack Obama. But for the record, President Obama did not really act like a dick yesterday, which is unsurprising, because Mark Halperin is a horrible political analyst who is wrong about everything. (Also for the record, it takes one to know one.)

This is a great excuse for MSNBC to fire Halperin, though! I mean if they won’t fire him for being incompetent at understanding and explaining politics they now have an opportunity to fire him for being disrespectful and vulgar. (Ed Schultz was suspended over as much.)

Being a professional observer of the “horse race” is bad enough, but Halperin doesn’t even understand the horse-race element of politics. He fails at being a hack. He’s too dumb to correctly parrot conventional wisdom. He is pretty sure Sarah Palin and Donald Trump are 2012 front-runners. He thought “suspending his campaign” to fix the economy and not knowing how many houses he has were both huge messaging victories for John McCain. He wrote a book about how to win in 2008 that predicted everything Hillary did, but in his world it all worked. He thought Bush’s political comeback would come any day now throughout the entirety of the years 2006-2008. He can’t interpret polls or see through the spin of GOP consultants who are much smarter than he. If I were revising the Hack list I’d put him above No. 1.

This wasn’t just a dumb comment.  It was a deliberate comment. Halperin measured the depth, stuck a toe in the water, practically asked for permission and dove in head first.

Hey, whaddya want? It's a dull show with dull people.

And what got Halperin’s panties in a wad?  He didn’t like President Obama telling the Republicans at his press conference to come correct and get serious about doing the jobs they were elected to do.   Halperin didn’t seem nearly so offended when Minority Leader Eric Cantor made a big production number of walking out of the budget negotiations.  Is it blasphemy to suggest the Republicans in Washington stop dicking around instead of pulling stunts like Cantor?

That’s not handling the people’s business. That’s grandstanding and its a dick move.

MSNBC can handle Halperin’s dickery any way they please.  It would please me to never see his stupid face on their programs.

The suspension is not appropriate. A suspension is some weak shit. A firing is appropriate. Let a few dicks like Halperin lose their job and the message gets through quick, fast and in one damn hurry: Act like a professional. Don’t be a dick.

If TIME won’t do it, MSNBC definitely should.  Halperin can take his dick moves to Fox and Friends.  He can also eat a bag of dicks.

Halperin is a lousy pundit and his act is tired. He should be retired from Morning Joe and all these other wack yakfests and their sniggering nudge-nudge/wink-wink attempts at being “edgy.”

This is not edgy. This is idiocy. Learn the difference.