Chris Christie’s Plus-Sized Problem

A contrast that won't be ignored by comedians

Another day and another Republican “thinking seriously” about getting in the race. Chris Christie, the first-term governor of New Jersey has become the darling of the Tea Party, Karl Rove and other GOP insiders for his blunt speaking ways, union-bashing policies and tough style of governing.

Christie says he’s not running, but he seems to be enjoying all the attention he’s getting from Republicans imploring him to do so.   They see him as their Last Best Hope of denying President Obama a second term.  He sees himself sitting out 2012 and waiting for 2016 when there may be a wide-open contest without the formidable challenge of being an incumbent.

Stop in the name of love. God, I know Rick Perry had a shitty week at the debate last week, but between him and Mitt Romney, that’s a pretty good one-two punch for the Republicans. Sorry if they aren’t perfect, but I can’t believe how fast the rats abandoned the Perry ship after his debate swan dive.

Christie getting in would lively up the base–for about a couple of weeks until his considerable flaws as a candidate are exposed. One of them is his weight.  He’s too fat to win.

This is not to say Christie wouldn’t be a good candidate and a formidable challenger for Obama, but America is a weight-obsessed country. The hefty Christie would be chided as being undisciplined and appearance does matter.  It shouldn’t matter, but everyone knows it does.

Pretty trumps ugly, thin trumps fat, a headful of hair trumps a bald scalp and sexy always trumps frumpy.   These are some of the biological hurdles  Christie is not built to clear.  Hate me for saying it, but prove that I’m wrong.

Christie would be picked apart by commentators cruelly focusing on his size, not his standards. He would be a punchline for every lame comedian looking for an easy and cheap laugh.

This country is never going to choose another ugly, obese, or short president. Why do so many of her supporters think Sarah Palin would be a good president despite her total lack of qualifications for the job?   Because she looks good to them.  Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson would be considered too unattractive to head a presidential ticket.   The media consultants would tell them to get some plastic surgery and don’t come back until then.

It is said the weight of the world rests on the shoulder of the President.  In Christie’s case it looks like it’s slipped to his waistline.   It’s not right and it’s not fair, but it’s not right or fair there’s never been a plus-sized Miss America either.

If you think I’m picking on Christie’s weight just because it’s a soft target you probably think I shop at Casual Male because I like the fashions so much.   I feel for the guy.  I don’t like his politics, but if some naysayes thought Barack Obama was too skinny to be president, Christie doesn’t have a prayer.
Christie should consult with a former paunchy GOP governor who ran for president.  Mike Huckabee dropped 100 lbs before he decided to run for president.

He should give Huckabee a call, drop some lbs and stay in Trenton until 2016 comes around. Christie’s time will come, but it’s not going to be in 2012.   If you don’t look like you could run for the bus you’re not going  to convince the majority of voters you can run for president.

Is America ready for a president that looks like America?

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