Feeding the Troll

There’s one thing that is a dead certainty about expressing your opinion.  Once you do the world is free to agree or disagree with it.   It’s those who disagree with an opinion whom are most likely to respond.   The default position for those who don’t like something they’ve read is to take to their laptops and let you know in no uncertain terms just how full of it you really are.

Every now and then, the subject of your opinion takes it upon themselves to handle that task themselves.

Do I really believe Paul Hardcastle took the time to write a snarky, trolling response to the review of Hardcastle VI All About Jazz chose not to run?  No.  More likely it’s only a pissed off Paul Hardcastle fan taking it upon themselves to defend their man’s honor.  That, or Hardcastle spends every day doing Google searches on himself.

Typically, I don’t waste time feeding obvious trolls.  Deleting their drivel without comment is typically the smart play instead of encouraging them by acknowledging their meaningless existence. But I’m amused by how  much effort “Paul” put into , so I’m going to do him the biggest favor he’s received in a long time.  I’m going to take him seriously.   For the most part.


October 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Thanks for an entertaining read
But It must be so obvious even to you !
That all you did with you’re so called review was you just copied what you said last time,

This album is crap, Paul is crap , the music is crap bla bla bla
Personally I couldn’t give a hoot what you say about me, but to see you moaning that an editor has seen through your poor attempt at being a journalist and won’t publish it, now that’s hilarious,

I dont have an issue with people who don’t like what I do but any “decent journalist” would have the guts to say No I won’t review that because I will never give a fair opinion, or in your case you just copied what you said from last time,
Do you really need the odd few free CDs that desperately ?

I noticed you wrote “99 percent of these reviews sale through without a problem”
What does that mean ? Sale through it’ doesn’t make any sense Jeff !
sale is when someone buys something, or maybe you mean “SAIL” through,
So before you start giving out lectures about being crap, I suggest you get your own house in order,

I’m sorry if I have offended you by making records that people seem to wan’t to buy, I suppose they are all either stupid or deaf in your opinion, at least 10 million of them !

Seems to me a little jealousy is getting the better of you here Jeff, but good luck with your career seems you may just need it a little more than me



Thanks for the advice and enjoying the entertaining read, “Paul” (or whoever you really are), but I have to tell you, if you have nothing better to do with your time than trolling the Internet looking for blogs mentioning you, it might be you in need of the career counseling.

I’m always amused when someone says “I don’t have an issue…” then goes on at length about their petty little issue.   It indicates an inconsistency in thinking.   There’s no inconsistency in your music, “Paul.”  It’s been the same noodling synth-based grove for over 20 years now.   If you’ve really sold and resold and resold again endless variations of “Rain Forest” to 10 million happy, but not overly demanding consumers, haven’t you banked enough by now to hire an actual band by now?

The world didn’t need yet another rehash of “Rain Forest” and “19” but by God and money, you’re going to keep giving them to us, aren’t you, “Paul?”  Well, you’re the artist, so follow your muse wherever it leads you, but did you have to a real artist like poor, dead Martin Gaye into this?   Comparing “What’s Going On” to one of your ditties is like comparing prime rib to tofu, but if dragging a dead man into your synthesized sludge is your idea of a classy move, “Paul,” I guess you deserve credit for packing a pair of some elephant-sized gonads.

I do thank you however for pointing out I used “sale” instead of “sail.”  Good catch there, “Paul.”   You should be a critic.   Who’s going to point out to you any “decent jazz musician” doesn’t keep endlessly recycling their one or two biggest hits?  That’s what a hack does.  A creative and bold artist challenges both himself and their listener by daring to do something different every so often.  Go listen to some Miles Davis or something, “Paul.”  You might learn something.

Miles didn’t keep dusting off “So What?” every five years and just change the title.   If you really want to claim you’re a “Jazzmaster” why don’t you try something radical and actually play some jazz now and then?

Miles Davis. Accept no phony "Jazzmasters."

I hardly think the “at least 10 million” or so buyers of your music are deaf or stupid, “Paul” and if you can read you know I never suggested anything of the kind.   I’m sure they’re all very nice people.   I know this because I’m one of those 10 million and you really ought to be nicer to someone who’s put their money in your pocket.

But if you can’t be nice, “Paul” try to be something other than boring.   You make “music” that sounds like you wake up in the morning, put on your robe and slippers, paddle down the steps to put on a cup of tea and bang out a couple of tunes in the home studio while you’re waiting for the water to boil.    It’s quick.  It’s easy.  It’s totally forgettable.

I’ll defer to you “Paul” and your far greater experience with producing crap, wrapping it up in a generic album cover and presenting it as a brand new package of More Of The Same.   You’ve become a master of it.   What you haven’t become a master of is expressing yourself all that well in your rebuttal to bloggers who talk smack about your assembly line Muzak.   I found a few typos of your own, “Paul” but I wouldn’t be so rude as to try to toss them in your face.   I leave that sort of thing to guys who ran out of ideas two decades ago.

By the way,  how does someone with the mailing address of “wasteoftime@hotmail.com” get to question anyone’s “guts?” A real man wouldn’t hide behind a fake e-mail address.   Is that how they roll in the burg of Tamworth, in the region of Staffordshire, in the United Kingdom, Lat: 52.6167° Long: -1.6833?°

Take some of that money you hustled out of your fans, “Paul” and upgrade your computer’s OS.   Windows Vista is played out, playa.  You are too.

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