Captain Brainfart’s Private Alamo

Coincidence? SURE, it's a coincidence.

It’s just sad what a desperate (and possibly closeted) politician will do when his polling numbers go right down the crapper.

When in doubt, go negative.   When your whole campaign is swirling down the pipes, go nasty and negative.  That’s what Rick Perry’s bottom-of-the-barrel “Strong” ad does.  Rarely do you see a man so desperately flailing to keep himself upright while simultaneously flinging poop in all directions.

In 30 seconds, Slick Rick bashes gays and liberals, implies the president hates religion and makes sure everybody knows he’s a CHRISTIAN (since there are a couple of other guys running who aren’t).

Pure whackadoodle pandering to the Iowa evangelical base because nothing says traditional values like raw homophobia and wrapping up your hate in that old-time religion.

The incredibly shrinking Captain Brainfart

The Republican playbook has been run to the Right in the primaries and pivot back to the center for the general election.   That’s proven to be sound advice, but when you’re barely a blip in the polls like Slick Rick,  you can’t finesse it.  You’ve got to go all negative all the time and throw that bloody chunk of raw meat to the base in hopes they will snap it up and start paying attention.

You can understand it from a desperate man’s point of view.  How would you feel if you were losing to Newt Gingrich?

The thing is, stuff hasn’t been going all that great with all these straight, super-religious freaks running the country Maybe it’s time to turn things over to the sodomites and infidels and give them a shot at running things?

One day they will write books about how awful a presidential campaign Governor Goodhair ran.  Perry may not know how many Supreme Court justices there are or how to pronounce their names, but he is a hunter and going gay-baiting may play well with evangelicals of Iowa.  So far it doesn’t seem to be helping him in the polls where he trails Gingrich, Mitt Romney and even his fellow Texan, Ron Paul.   Finishing fourth in Iowa could finish Perry entirely and wouldn’t that be a crying shame?

Man-whore Herman Cain dropped out the race (though there are real doubts if he ever was in the race) and though Isn’t the most representative state, it does an excellent job of expelling from the American body politic those candidates who don’t measure up.

Slick Rick is mere weeks away from facing his own personal Alamo when he faces the same fate of all foul waste products.

Jesus loves you Ricky. Everybody else thinks you’re an asshole.

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