So Stupid Even A Rock n’ Roll Caveman Can Do It

First the hair goes. Then the hearing goes. Finally the brains goes.

A few months ago there was some minor surprise when Megadeth founder Dave Mustaine came out for Rick Santorum and doubted the president’s citizenship. What’s notable is this is the first time the only guy to get fired from Metallica for being a bigger drunk than the rest of the band put together had said anything newsworthy in years.

Rock n’ roll Republicans aren’t all that rare.   There’s Muscatel Mustaine, the late Johnny Ramone, Kid Rock, Britney Spears, Meatloaf, and Alice Cooper who are all out of the closet conservatives.  You can rock and be right-wing.  It’s just kind of weird.

Then there’s the case of The Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent who is in a class all by himself and that’s no class at all.

Speaking whatever gibberish comes out of his STD ravaged brain at last weekend’s NRA convention, Nugent continued ripping into the president, saying the Obama Administration was “wiping its ass with the Constitution” and then he went for the part that will earn him a visit from some non-prostitute patronizing Secret Service agents.

“If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

“It isn’t the enemy that ruined America. It’s good people who bent over and let the enemy in. If the coyote’s in your living room pissing on your couch, it’s not the coyote’s fault. It’s your fault for not shooting him.”

Credit Nugent for his consistency in his hatred for the current White House occupant. In 2007, he raved at a concert, “Obama, he’s a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun.” He then turned his attention to Hillary Clinton saying, “Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch”.

Would you let this man date your teenage daughter?

I enjoyed Nugent’s music more than Nugent’s Neanderthal politics until he made himself such an insufferable prick and his politics completely took over his music.  He was on Piers Morgan’s shitty show last week babbling about the Trayvon Martin case and it was obvious he didn’t have clue One about it.. Why does anyone care what an old rock n’ roll fart has to say about politics?

Sure he could still shred with the best of them, but the Nuge was never as good as he thought he was and his “poontang, poontang, POONTANG” rap was played  out years ago.  This was before he got caught playing hide-the-salami with some sweet young meat that happened to be underage.  (Professional train wreck Courtney Love claims to have provided her oral affections to Ted when she was only 12, but you have to consider the source of that information). How did Terrible Ted solve his diddling jail bait dilemma?   Why, by getting having himself appointed the legal guardian of his girlfriend and then he could legally bone her to his depraved heart’s delight.

My daughter, who cares nothing about rock music, wandered through the living room one weekend when I was watching an old Behind the Music episode about Nugent.  She sat down and watched the whole thing and at the end she concluded, “He’s an asshole.”

Nugent is a flaming asshole.   He has also repeatedly threatened violence against the President of the United  States.  Let’s see how long it takes Mitt Romney to repudiate a serial pedophiles endorsement.   Why Republicans like to hang around with this chickenhawk (in every sense of the word), I have no idea.Maybe they’re hoping to pick up one of Ted’s stray little girls?

This is nothing new for Nugent.  Being loud, vulgar and a loudmouth was part of his schtick long before he started looking like a redneck trucker.   His obnoxiousness has grown as his record sales have slumped and put him back in the shit hole clubs and state fair circuit.

Is this Romney's idea of "family values?"

Let’s also see if the same folks who were demanding President Obama return Bill Maher’s campaign contribution because Maher is such a horrible sexist will get their undies in a wad over the author of “Bridge Over Troubled Daughters,”  “Pussywhipped”, “If You Can’t Lick ‘Em…Lick ‘Em” and the always charming, “My Baby Love My Butter On Her Gritz.”

Gene Simmons recently said he regretted his vote for Obama in 2008 and is backing Romney now.  Maybe this is a change for Ted and his fellow man-whore to hang out and make shitty old fart rock together instead of separately.

After a hard’s day work on the campaign trail, there’s probably nothing better for Mitt to unwind and rock out to Love Grenade (NSFW) for his listening pleasure.  I’m sure Mrs. Romney gets her own kind of pleasure from Mitt after listening to the Nuge.