The Sphincter of the House

john-boehner

John loses his boner.

House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, acknowledged Wednesday that he would allow a vote in the House on a newly-minted Senate deal on debt and spending.

“We fought the good fight. We just didn’t win,” he said on WLW radio in Ohio.

Boehner additionally confirmed that he would “absolutely” allow the whole House to vote on a plan introduced on Wednesday in the Senate. That bipartisan plan, unveiled by Senate leaders, would fund the government through mid-January and raise the debt ceiling until early February.

Which begs the musical question…

How in the hell was this any sort of “good fight?”

What exactly was the high-minded principle The Boner and his fellow knuckle-dragging troglodytes were fighting for worth shutting down the entire government for three weeks,  throwing thousands of federal workers out of work and cutting off their checks (while Congress made sure they were still receiving their pay)  pushing the country into default and making the United States of America look like the nuttiest asylum ever run by the most insane inmates?

“We Just Didn’t Win.”

Which means The Boner is a loser.  The Caveman Caucus is full of grunting losers.  The Republican Party is a loser.   Ted  “Canadian Bacon” Cruz is the biggest loser right along his fellow losers in the collective of whiny losers called the Tea Party.   That is a good thing to come out of a bad thing.

Ultimately the cavemen caved in.  What else could they do?  Though the extremist whack jobs in Congress and their little cheerleaders on Fixed News were ready to crash and burn the American economy for the sake of a temper tantrum, eventually the adults wrested the controls away from them and narrowly avoided one potentially very hot mess.

This is your Republican Party.

This is your Republican Party.

So if the Boner is wimpiest wimp that ever wimped in American political history and is a Dead Man Walking in his remaining tenure as Speaker of the House of Crazy People, who were the winners here?

NOBODY WINS  in a sorry spectacle like this and you are on crazy pills if you think anybody won jack.   The Congressional crazies will be all over the television and the radio and the Internet telling anyone who will listen, “We WON!  We shut down the government!  We brought the country to a screeching halt.  Man, we ROCK!  We are such total bad-asses!  High-five and chest bumps all around!”

This will be nothing more than the hollow victory yelps of crazy people and no different from the whiskey-fueled ranting of a mangy drunk arguing with himself on a standing-room bus as a puddle of pee runs down his leg and all the other riders desperately try to pretend the foul-smelling lout isn’t really there.

That is what the Republican Party is now.  Mangy, ranting drunks who annoy everyone and stink of stale ammonia strong piss.

We’ll take a break from this unnecessary exercise in brinkmanship and be back for more of the same after the Xmas when “The Real Assholes of Washington D.C.” returns for its next season.

What have we learned?  We have learned John Andrew Bohner is the 61st Speaker of the House and a total neutered whipped dog who is regularly kicked around by 30 extremists in his own caucus and he lives in fear of the next kick in the rib.

I’d feel sorry for the Boner if I wasn’t revolted  by his submissive groveling weakness and his gutless  “I don’t give a shit what happens to the country as long as I’m still Speaker”  self-preservation motivation.

See you in January.

john-boehner2

Advertisements

Don't Be Shy...Leave A Comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s