Johnny Mac: Shadow President

“I’m Johnny Mac, and those media hos love me.”

Hear that creaking sound?   That was John McCain finding his spine again.

Just before the Republican Kamikazes went over the edge with their mad scheme to kill off Obamacare,  McCain took to the floor of the U.S. Senate to tell off the titular leader of the Kamikazes,  Senator Wacko Bird,  The Asshole Previously Known As Ted Cruz) just how doggone mad he was about the government shutdown dragging into the second week and cutting off military benefits.

“Somehow, to think that we are going to repeal Obamacare, which would have required 67 Republican votes, of course, was a false premise, and I think did the American people a great disservice by convincing them that somehow we could.”

McCain never mentioned Cruz by name.  He didn’t have to.  Everyone knew who Johnny Mac was ripping a new hole for.  The rules of Senate decorum prevented McCain for calling off Cruz for his suicidal strategy.    In a profile of Senator Wacko Bird for GQ magazine, an aide to McCain was less circumspect of how his boss felt about Cruz.

“He fucking hates Cruz,” an adviser of the Arizona senator said. “He’s just offended by his style.

Fight! Fight! Fight!  Cruz is riding high on Johnny Mac’s shit list and of course he was absolutely right how utterly doomed to failure the shutdown was and how badly Republicans would be scarred from the shrapnel when it all blew up in their faces.

The Washington press corps loves John McCain.  If he were a woman they would cheat on their wives to be with him.  As it is, they blow him wet kisses every time he talks tough.  It sends a chill down their spine and they squeal like little girls.

There is no good reason for this.

For all his vanity, McCain has no more power than any of the other 99 Senators.   He is not a part of the senior Senate leadership.  His vote counts for no more than any other Senator,  but that hasn’t stopped him from assuming the position of “The Senator of Senators,” first among equals.

Johnny Mac. Ordinary regular guy. Likes dogs.

Predictably the mainstream media felt a tingle go up their legs.  At last!  The return of the Reasonable Republican.  Someone “moderate” to talk sense to a Grand Old Party body-snatched by the Tea Party.   Those guys aren’t just angry.  They’re mean.   Not like Johnny Mac.The Maverick is back!

Oh, if only we had elected THIS guy instead of the smooth talker.

Professional loudmouth Chris Matthews once admitted, “The press loves McCain. We’re his base” and the hero-worship of the Washington media confirms this.  He is their favorite Republican   Matthews was raked over the coals for fawning over Barack Obama in 2008 for his infamous “tingle up my leg” quip, but he also said about McCain that he “deserved the presidency.” 

McCain bitch slapping a cocky blowhard like Cruz absolutely delights Matthews and the rest of the punditocracy.    Since losing to Obama, this version of McCain hasn’t been seen much lately.  Where has this John McCain been?

Oh, let’s see.  Losing a presidential election.  Inflicting the unparalleled idiocy of the mentally challenged Sarah Palin on the country, running for reelection by taking far-right stances and then promptly casting them aside, offered lukewarm support for Mitt Romney despite despising him almost as much as he does President Obama, agitating for war against Iran, Libya, and Syria, losing his shit over Benghazi, led the lynch mob to block Susan Rice’s nomination to be Secretary of State, fought the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, opposed withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan,  permitted David Gregory to give him lap dances during his weekly appearances on “Meet the Press”, blasted Obama’s every foreign policy initiative, stabbed his old buddy and colleague Chuck Hagel in the back as he opposed his nomination for Secretary of Defense, got into grumpy old man fights with those Rand Paul and Ted Cruz whippersnappers and pouted.

LOTS of pouting.

When the books about the Great Shutdown of 2013 is written,  Johnny Mac will be a minor figure, not a major player, but not to hear him tell it.  Siddown, ya little bastards and your old Grandpa Johnny Mac is gonna tell ya a story how I reopened the whole damn federal government all by myself when that smart-ass Harvard professor in the White House couldn’t do it!    Certainly he got more face time and high praise than his deeds deserved,  but what did McCain DO?   He didn’t negotiate the reopening of the government.   Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell did that.  He certainly didn’t influence the House of Representatives to do anything.   What do those nuts care about the senior Senator from Arizona and what he thinks about anything?

While Johnny Mac may think he is the Shadow President of the United States, all is just one of 100 Senators, with no more power than any other but more ego than all of them put together.

Give him credit for being the principled Republican willing to take on his party’s extreme wing, but Congressman Peter King has gone even further and called out Cruz directly and he doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere as much credit as McCain.

Any credit coming to Johnny Mac is taken away by his former running mate, Sarah Palin, standing side-by-side with Cruz, not McCain.  If for nothing else,  Johnny Mac will never live that one down.

“Uck. Did that come out of ME?”