Megyn Kelly is Dreaming of A White Santa

Santa C. will bust a cap in yo ass.

Tis’ the season where Fox News goes even deeper into their batshit-crazy mode with their phony “War On Christmas” rap.

This year, Megyn “Legs” Kelly, the one at Fox who proclaims she’s “a straight news anchor” and not one of the opinion hosts at Rupert Murdoch’s toyshop for conservatives, went full moron in a discussion of an article by Slate writer Aisha Harris entitled Santa Claus Should Not Be A White Man Anymore where, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, suggested helpfully, a penguin get the gig instead.

Legs Kelly didn’t appreciate that. She dropped a big ol’ lump of coal in Ms. Harris’ stocking.

The popular news host told viewers of “The Kelly File,” her hit FNC program, “When I saw this headline, I kinda laughed and I said, ‘Oh, this is ridiculous. Yet another person claiming it’s racist to have a white Santa.’ And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is maybe just arguing that we should also have a black Santa. But, you know, Santa is what he is, and just so you know, we’re just debating this because someone wrote about it, kids.”

Of course, a number of critics were quick to point out that Santa Claus is a fictional character. And while he was based on St. Nicholas, a white man, his exact description is largely left up to individual interpretation.

However, after a guest on Kelly’s show defended the Slate article, Kelly extended her argument to further claim that the historical figure Jesus Christ was in fact Caucasian:

“Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man, too,” Kelly said. “He was a historical figure; that’s a verifiable fact — as is Santa, I want you kids watching to know that — but my point is: How do you revise it, in the middle of the legacy of the story, and change Santa from white to black?”

I’m a straight news anchor. I only dress like a bimbo.

I’m not a believer in Santa Claus and I have doubts Jesus looked much like that hippie from King of Kings either, but if Kelly wants to believe in two fictional characters, it’s okay by me. I wish she wouldn’t turn the “War on Christmas” into a race war.

Kelly is many things, but dumb is not one of them. “Calculating” is the word I’d use.  She knows how stupid this Santa and Jesus were White crap is. She also knows it makes for great television.  Of course this ridiculousness was pounced upon by Jon Stewart  as yet another example of Fox News being less about reporting the news and more about pushing an agenda.

Kelly “responded” to the mocking disdain by claiming…get this…she was being humorless and those that ridiculed her were race baiters with no sense of humor.

KELLY: This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society, in particular the knee-jerk instinct by so many to race-bait and to assume the worst in people, especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel.
I acknowledged — as Harris did — that the most commonly depicted image of Santa does in fact have white skin. By the way I also did say Jesus was white. As I learned in the last two days, that is far from settled. For me, the fact that an offhand jest I made during a segment about whether Santa should be replaced by a penguin has now become a national firestorm says two things. Race is still an incredibly volatile issue in this country, and Fox News, and yours truly are big targets for many people.

Wait a minute…I know it’s here somewhere…O.K.,  Megyn, here’s your “victim” card.

“Offhand jest?” “Fox News and yours truly are big targets for many people?”

Agh. The stupid. It burns.

Yup. We’re White, all right.

Kelly claims she’s a non-ideological “straight news anchor.”  If that’s true, why didn’t she interview Aisha Harris whose article put her panties in a wad in the first place?

That’s what a journalist would do. At least, a real one who doesn’t suck up airtime to throw a phony-ass pity party for herself and the number one cable news channel.

But because A Madea Christmas just came out we must understand Kelly’s fear of a Black Santa.

Imagine you’re Megyn Kelly and you learn to your horror Santa is a big 6’5″ Black man from New Orleans in drag and he’s comin’ down your chimney to leave some coal in your stocking.

And you ain’t gonna buy him off with no damn cookies and milk!

You’d pray Santa was White!

“Megyn, yo’ ass has been naughty!”