Trumpmentum!

Why the hell do you take me seriously? Even I wouldn’t vote for me!

A few thoughts about Donald Trump…

The first thing to say about Donald Trump, billionaire blowhard, is he will not be taking the Oath of Office in January 2017 as the President of the United States.  It’s not happening. There is no way.  There is no chance.

I don’t care what the polls say.   I don’t care about the hypothetical match-ups against Hillary Clinton.   I don’t care how far the news media is up Trump’s ass.  None of it matters.  I don’t give the America voter credit for much, but I’m not so jaded as to think they are going to pick a reality TV show character as their president.

Which doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the hot mess Trump is making of the Republican presidential field, particularly how he has overtaken and overwhelmed Jeb Bush, the dude who was supposed to be the inevitable nominee and square off against Hillary Clinton. Bush vs. Clinton II: Electric Boogaloo was supposed to be next summer’s blockbuster. Now there are reasons to doubt if one, the other, or both will be there for the match-up.

Best. News. Ever.

They all laughed when The Donald said he was running for prez.

If you’re a Republican insider, you ain’t laughing anymore.

Suddenly, I’m very interested in the debates because Trump! will say ANYTHING HE WANTS!

Somewhere RNC chairman Reince Preibus is curled up in a fetal position sucking his thumb and crying his widdle eyes out. The Donald just drove the GOP Klown Kar off a kliff.

Trumpmentum is Preibus worst nightmare. Trump’s ascendancy comes at the expense of the A.Y.O’s. (All You Others) of the field and forces his main rivals to respond to him. There’s been a muted response from Bush, Walker, Paul, Rubio among others to actually take on The Donald over his amazingly racist rant against “rapists and criminals” Mexicans and the longer they dummy up the more it pisses off the critical Latino vote. NBC, Univision and Macy’s haven’t nearly as reluctant to drop The Donald.

Would you trust someone who rides a Segway to be your president?

This is all very, very bad for the Republicans now. Later, it probably won’t matter. But how much damage will Trump do to the GOP brand before he finds his way to the exits?   Preibus’ grand scheme for a stage-managed, well-behaved primary and debate process has been upended by the upstart Trump as he stomps around in muddy boots all over the carpet, knocking over tables, annoying the guests, belching, farting and scratching in inappropriate places with Preibus watching helplessly as it all turns into a giant foul turd sandwich.

Trump has been depicted as a problem the Republicans created. He’s not. Trump’s supporters are the problem as their far-right extremism and hunger for his brand of bloody, raw, red meat politics is dragging the whole damn party to the edge of the cliff.
So sad. Too bad. I’ll wave “bye-bye” as they go over.

Fun!

Somewhere in America a rich man is laughing. He’s laughing loud and long and he’s laughing so hard he’s crying and about to crap his silk boxers.

This wealthy man says the most outrageous things. He insults entire races. He offends decent people. He exploits a horrific tragedy for political advantage. He slaps around a main rival’s wife. He is dropped by networks and sponsors and he responds not by apologizing, but by upping the acidity of his attacks and the result is he rises in the polls even while the media sputters in indignation.

His poll numbers are rising. The more he is attacked and mocked the more he appeals to the Republican base who get off on his un-PC approach. He is a stone cold lock to be large and in charge at the first GOP presidential debate where he doubtlessly will use the national spotlight to say something so far out the buses don’t run there and even a nut like Ted Nugent might exclaim, “Damn, dawg. You really said that?”

Yes he will. He really will say that and he might drop trou too if he feels like it.

Who farted? HE farted!

Who’s gonna tell him he can’t? Trump is merely the comedian who warms up the crowd before the main attraction comes on stage. The problem for Republicans who don’t want Hillary Clinton to replace Barack Obama is they treat Trump like he is the main attraction.

Things could not be going better for Donald J. Trump. Things are going just fine. The plan is coming together and everything is under control.