The Dirtiest of Prince’s Dirty Mind

Sexuality is all you ever need.

Sexuality is all you ever need.

For much of his career, there was an internal struggle within The Artist We Knew As Prince between spirituality and sexuality.    Prince reveled in sex.  Sexually explicit lyrics,  sexually provocative dancing, sexually ambiguity and androgyny, playing around with gender roles, and just generally taking on taboos and putting them to a beat so big you could live in it.

Everybody’s got a favorite dirty ditty and Prince got real dirty.   A lot.    Dirty Mind wasn’t just the name of a Prince album.   It was a operational statement.    Here’s a dozen Prince songs with a sample lyric you  probably  don’t want to sing in the car when your mother is with you.   Add “Do Me, Baby,” “Soft and Wet,” “Scarlet Pussy,” “Come,” or “Cream” to name just a few and you could put together a pretty nasty mix tape (do they still make mix tapes? )

1. Erotic City

If we cannot make babies
Maybe we can make some time
Fuck so pretty, U and me
Erotic City come alive
We could fuck until the dawn
Makin’ love ’til cherry’s gone
Erotic City, can’t U see?
Fuck so pretty, U and me

2. Sexy M.F.

U seem perplexed I haven’t taken u yet
Can’t u see I’m harder than a man can get
I got wet dreams comin’ out of my ears
I get hard if the wind blows your cologne near me
But I can take it, cuz I want the whole nine
This ain’t about the body, it’s about the mind

Come here baby, yeah
U sexy motherfucker
Come here baby, yeah
U sexy motherfucker

(an uncensored  8:00 video of “Sexy MF” is available for viewing–for now!)

"I want candy,"

“I want candy,”

3. Head

Head till U’re burnin’ up
Head till U get enough
Head till U’re love is red
Head – love U till U’re dead

U know U’re good, girl
I think U like 2 go down
U wouldn’t have stopped but ah…
I came on your wedding gown


4. Darling Nikki

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess u could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how’d u like 2 waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind


5. P Control

Pussy got bank in her pockets
Before she got dick in her drawers
If brother didn’t have good ‘n’ plenty of his own
In love Pussy never did fall
And this fool named Trick wanna stick her
Uh, talkin’ more shit than a bit
‘Bout how he gonna make Pussy a star
If she come and sing a lick on his hit
Pussy said “Nigga, U crazy if U don’t know
Every woman in the world ain’t a freak (Pussy)
U can go platinum 4 times
Still couldn’t make what I make in a week (Pussy)
So push up on somebody that wanna hear that
Cuz this somebody here don’t wanna know (Pussy)
Boy, U better act like U understand
When U roll with Pussy Control”

6. Let’s Pretend We’re Married

My girl’s gone and she don’t care at all
And if she did, so what, come on baby, let’s ball

I wanna fuck U so bad it hurts, it hurts, it hurts
Ooh, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna fuck U
Yeah, I wanna, I wanna, ooh, I wanna fuck U
Look here Marsha, I’m not sayin’ this just 2 be nasty
I sincerely wanna fuck the taste outta your mouth
Can U relate?

My girl’s gone and she don’t care at all
And if she did, I wouldn’t care, let’s ball

7. Jack-U-Off

If U’re looking 4 somewhere 2 go
Girl, I’ll take U 2 a movie show
We can sit in the back and I’ll jack U off

I can’t give U everything U want
But I can take U 2 a restaurant
And if U’re not hungry, I’ll jack U off

If your man ain’t no good
Come on over 2 my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and I’ll jack U off

If U’re tired of the masturbator
Little girl, we can go on a date, uh
And if U like, I’ll jack U off


8. Pheromone

I can feel the tension through the crack in the door
He begs 4 love, while she’s disgusted more
And I’m on fire, cause I never seen her nude before
I wanna save her (save her)
I want 2 watch (watch)
All my vital signs go up a couple of notches
When he unties her and she runs 2 the open door
He trips and grinds her (grinds her)
Right there all on the floor (on the floor)
She so close I can touch her (touch her)

Pheromone, rush over me like an ocean
Pheromone, controllin’ my every motion
Pheromone, I’m helpless as a pet
Pheromone, when your body’s wet (body’s wet, body’s wet, body’s wet)

Her eyes are closed but there’s no penetration
He just makes her point the pistol 2 his nose
While he masturbates and now I see a tear
Heading down towards her smile
What happens next it all depends upon your style


9. Rock Hard In A Funky Place

Rock hard in a funky place

Here comes a lady so u cover up
She’s a freaked out,
Funky electric mama with double cups
Say u, u could cop if u wanted 2
Because something near your leg
Is haunting u, such a disgrace
U’re rock hard in a funky place, ow!

Rock hard in a funky place

U was workin’ on the line
U could drop on her
But u couldn’t concentrate
When your dick saw her
Maybe if u cop a nut in the car (Maybe if u cop a nut in the car)
Maybe u could think
About playing guitar

10. Ripopgodazippa


I lay me girl down on the fake lamb fur
It’s fake but it’s still soft as what’s between her
Lavender oil come from the bottle like I do
Whenever I think about me zippa rippin’ so good
All down the body and devil between the thighs
Ripop go zippa and U get a big surprise

Ripopgodazippa, ripopgodazippa
If U flick of the pink plush, then this brother trippa
My girlie, how in the world did U learn this that U know?
Ripopgodazippa, etc. etc. so


Instead of walking inside, I just knock on the door
I take a look around until she beggin’ me “More, more, more!”
When I finally come inside, I’m standin’ perfectly still
“I can’t take no more!” Pump U then I will
“I just wanna call your name, but I don’t know what 2 say”

1980, Manhattan, New York City, New York State, USA --- Prince backstage at The Bottom Line. --- Image by © Deborah Feingold/Corbis

1980, Manhattan, New York City, New York State, USA — Prince backstage at The Bottom Line. — Image by © Deborah Feingold/Corbis

11. Tell Me How U Wanna Be Done

Shall I write the alphabet? (A B C D E F G)
Or shall I just write my name?
U tell me, U’re the ruler in this telephone game
I could be a slave when it comes down 2 U (Slave)
I’ll do any and everything U want me 2 do
U know why? (Why?)
Cuz I want U 2 have fun
So how U wanna be done?
(Yeah, baby, yeah!) (How U wanna be done?)

Baby, how U wanna, how U wanna be done?
Just say the word and we could start from number 1
And go the distance, baby, till U tell me 2 stop
I’d lose myself inside U till U get all I got
Talk 2 me, baby (yeah), tell me how U wanna be done

(Yeah, yeah)

I want U 2 imagine U’re making angels, angels in the snow
And kiss a hundred revolutions nice and slow
Then I see U on the beat do a def striptease
No, no, leave the Chanel around your neck – please, baby, please
Now do something I’ve never seen before (How U wanna be
Crawl over 2 me on your stomach – more, baby, more
Now pull me down on top of U and grind really fast
(Tell me how U wanna be done)
Take both hands with all your might and squeeze my… yeah!
Roll me over until U’re back on top
Then I want U 2 kiss me until I make U stop
That’s how, that’s how I wanna be done (Tell me how U wanna be

(How U wanna be done?)

But the absolute DIRTIEST of dirty Prince tunes is from Dirty Mind and it’s..

12. Sister

I was only 16 but I guess that’s no excuse
My sister was 32, lovely and loose
She don’t wear no underwear
She said it only gets in her hair
And it’s got a funny way of stoppin’ the juice

My sister never made love 2 anyone else but me
She’s the reason 4 my, uh, sexuality
She showed me where it’s supposed 2 go
A blowjob doesn’t mean blow
Incest is everything it’s said 2 be

Oh sister – don’t put me on the street again
Oh sister – I just wanna be your friend

I was only 16 and only half a man
My sister didn’t give a goddamn
She only wanted 2 turn me out
She’d take a whip 2 me until I shout
Oh motherfucker, she’s a motherfucker, can’t U understand?


He Loved Him Madly

You know his name.

I was doing a pretty good job of taking a blog break because after eight years of blogging every so often I need a break.  And then Prince died today and the light poured out of me.

Every generation has its timeless legends and usually its the artists who are the ones who come along and say, “No, we’re gonna do it like this now.”

I bought my first Prince record, For You, at a used record store on the Ohio State University campus. Maybe it cost two bucks. There were a few standouts, some clunkers and some “not quite there but getting there” tracks. A good-looking kid with a big Afro. My wife-to-be thought he was cute. Didn’t know how short the little fucker was. The dude wrote, produced, arranged all the songs and played all the instruments. That was odd, but he was good at it.

Prince Rogers Nelson was only going to get better.

Things might have worked out differently if he hadn’t won the battle with Warner Brothers (one of many he would wage) and rebuffed their suggestion that Maurice White of Earth, Wind and Fire produce the album. Prince wasn’t about to allow anybody else shape his vision.

I used to say about Prince his failures were more interesting than most folks successes. Eventually, the sheer tonnage of his failures (Under the Cherry Moon, Graffiti Bridge, Chaos and Disorder, Rave Unto the Joy Fantastic, etc) wore me down. But Prince never became a novelty act or a fat, lazy joke dutifully cranking out his hits for a buck. He was a genius and a moron. A sexy MF and an observant Jehovah’s Witness. He sang about masturbating with magazines, getting oral from a newlywed, and sex, sex, sex until he stopped singing about boning and started singing about God.

Prince was a lot of things, good, bad and indifferent, but predictable wasn’t one of them.

Prince dying on me is like a friend dying on me. I’ll miss everything he did for music and everything he still wanted to do. One thing’s for sure. There’s enough Prince music in the vaults to make Elvis and 2Pac look like one-hit wonders.

We’re we just blessed to have lived in an era when a legitimate legend no longer strides the earth the earth itself slows down to pay attention and give respect.   Sooner all the giants leave us.  Even the ones who stand only 5’2″.

All n’ all it’s not a bad way to step off the stage.   I only want to see you laughing in the Purple Rain.   Today was a horrible day.   It was gloomy and cloudy and dark and it rained.   It should have.   The doves were crying.

My name is Prince and I am funky
My name is Prince the one and only
I did not come 2 funk around
‘Tll I get your daughter I won’t leave this town
In the beginning God made the sea
But on the 7th day he made me
He was tryin’ to rest y’all when He heard the sound
Sound like a guitar cold gettin’ down
I tried to bust a high note, but I bust a string
My God was worried ’til he heard me sing

My name is Prince and I am funky
My name is Prince the one and only – hurt me

What Black Women Write When They Write About Love

Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it.
Toni Morrison, Jazz

“Back then I confused passions and orgasms with love. It took me years to realize the two weren’t synonymous.”
Terry McMillan, Getting to Happy

I found God in myself, and I loved her, I loved her fiercely.
Ntozake Shange

Love is that condition in the human spirit so profound that it allows me to survive, and better than that, to thrive with passion, compassion, and style.
Maya Angelou

Some say we are responsible for those we love. Others know we are responsible for those who love us.
Nikki Giovanni, The December of My Springs

I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.
Alice Walker

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Maya Angelou

The greatest lie ever told about love is that it sets you free.
Zadie Smith, On Beauty

Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.
Audre Lorde

“What looks like crazy on an ordinary day looks looks a lot like love if you catch it in the moonlight.”
Pearl Cleage, What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day

Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much.
Zora Neale Hurston

“Kindness eases change.
Love quiets fear.
And a sweet and powerful
Positive obsession
Blunts pain,
Diverts rage,
And engages each of us
In the greatest,
The most intense
Of our chosen struggles.”
Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Talents


“Let me tell you about love, that silly word you believe is about whether you like somebody or whether somebody likes you or whether you can put up with somebody in order to get something or someplace you want or you believe it has to do with how your body responds to another body like robins or bison or maybe you believe love is how forces or nature or luck is benign to you in particular not maiming or killing you but if so doing it for your own good. Love is none of that. There is nothing in nature like it. Not in robins or bison or in the banging tails of your hunting dogs and not in blossoms or suckling foal. Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive except that it is God. You do not deserve love regardless of the suffering you have endured. You do not deserve love because somebody did you wrong. You do not deserve love just because you want it. You can only earn – by practice and careful contemplations – the right to express it and you have to learn how to accept it. Which is to say you have to earn God. You have to practice God. You have to think God-carefully. And if you are a good and diligent student you may secure the right to show love. Love is not a gift. It is a diploma. A diploma conferring certain privileges: the privilege of expressing love and the privilege of receiving it. How do you know you have graduated? You don’t. What you do know is that you are human and therefore educable, and therefore capable of learning how to learn, and therefore interesting to God, who is interested only in Himself which is to say He is interested only in love. Do you understand me? God is not interested in you. He is interested in love and the bliss it brings to those who understand and share the interest. Couples that enter the sacrament of marriage and are not prepared to go the distance or are not willing to get right with the real love of God cannot thrive. They may cleave together like robins or gulls or anything else that mates for life. But if they eschew this mighty course, at the moment when all are judged for the disposition of their eternal lives, their cleaving won’t mean a thing. God bless the pure and holy. Amen.”
Toni Morrison, Paradise

Hiromi and The Piano In the “Spark.”


If you don’t know who Hiromi is yet you’re probably reading the wrong article. And listening to the wrong music.

There are three reasons why some people will not enjoy Spark, the fourth album from the Trio Project featuring Hiromi Uehara, the Japanese-born pianist and composer and drummer Simon Phillips and bassist Anthony Jackson:

1. It’s too complex.

2. It rocks too hard to be jazz.

3. It’s long (72 minutes).

None of these are good reasons. Here are three reasons which are good ones.

1. Simplicity has its place. So does complexity. 2. Jazz is not a hyphenated word. It’s just jazz. 3. You can’t make and bake a cake in two minutes. Patience is its own reward.

Hiromi continues to be one of the most inventive and awe-inspiring pianists in jazz today. Phillips’ drumming is alternatively both dynamic and precise. Jackson is the silent partner of the band, but is the glue which holds it together so it doesn’t fly apart into undisciplined soloing.

That’s the risk involved in a Hiromi recording. At what point will her dazzling proficiency give way to just spraying notes all around the joint like an Eddie Van Halen freak-out turned up to “11” on the overkill scale? This is an entirely fair comparison. Hiromi can match a guitar god like Van Halen for speed, frenzy and mindless self-indulgence when she goes off.

hiromi spark

“Spark” leads off with a gently synth/piano solo that takes off as soon as Phillips comes in and Hiromi engages in dueling leads as they chase each other in musical game of “tag.” Good luck with figuring out what the time signature is. The stuttering stop-start of “In A Trance” shows off the favored approach of the Trio Project to jazz: aggressive, inventing and very, very fast and furious.

Even when “In A Trance” slows down to a more traditional approach, it isn’t long before it reverts to the highly individualized nature of the players. Phillips launches into a drum solo, shows off some hot licks, and then ends up with some killer fills and cymbals work until Jackson and Hiromi come back in with a vaguely Latin piano riff.

Is “Indulgence” a playful jab at the naysayers who accuse the pianist of being more style than substance? Maybe so and maybe no, but whatever the intent it, along with “What Will Be, Will Be” is a showcase for Jackson’s contrabass guitar work and some mighty fine funky grooves and the restrained solo piano piece “Wake Up and Dream” washes over the listener like warm spring rain.

Like it or not (and some jazzheads don’t), Hiromi is much more than an programmed automaton who can play really fast. The rollicking closer “All’s Well” is funky good fun which connects emotionally on every level. For jazz to resonate beyond its base it has to—repeat—has to develop and promote artists the way rock, pop and country does. It cannot thrive and will not survive unless the new generation is alerted of the new innovators residing among them just beyond their range of hearing. Hiromi is one of those innovators.

Spark is Hiromi’s 10th  album and it’s the 10th album I’ve dug the hell out.   She has to be included on any short or long list of the best pianists in jazz today.  It’s not a coincidence that Stanley Clarke and Chick Corea have both tapped her to join them on solo projects.  She’s just that good and with Phillips and Jackson in tow the Trio Project has been blowing it up over four masterful albums in five years.

Oscar Peterson said, “Too many jazz pianists limit themselves to a personal style, a trademark, so to speak. They confine themselves to one type of playing. I believe in using the entire piano as a single instrument capable of expressing every possible musical idea. I have no one style. I play as I feel.”

Hiromi Uehara is living what Peterson advised. Hers is the piano in the Spark.
Track Listing: Spark; In A Trance; Take Me Away; Wonderland; Indulgence; Dilemma; What Will Be, Will Be; Wake Up And Dream, All’s Well

Personnel: Hiromi: piano, keyboards; Anthony Jackson: contrabass guitar; Simon Phillips: drums

The best “power trio” since Cream.

A different version of this review originally appeared at All About Jazz

The Colin Kaepernick/49ers Soap Opera Will Never End.

Colin Kapernick left not just his heart but his game in San Francisco (Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports)

Colin Kapernick left not just his heart but his game in San Francisco
(Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports)

Stepping back on the sports beat for an  update of the San Francisco soap opera  of  “Will Colin Kaepernick Finally Find Happiness Somewhere in the NFL?”   After playing “should-he-stay-or-should-he-go” for most of the off-season,  the Niners neither cut nor traded Kaepernick and guaranteed his $11 million salary.   A few days later trade talks heated up again with the Denver Broncos.   The hold-up this time is the Broncos only want to pay $7 million of Kap’s salary  and want the Niners to pick up the rest.   The Niners don’t see why they should have to pay a player who wants to leave.

I don’t either, but I really don’t care anymore.  The Niners are going to stink either way, so whether Kap stays or goes, it’s not going to make a bad team good and the 49ers are very bad.   They’ve gone from a huge success under Jim Harbaugh to a NFL dead zone under GM Trent Balike and owner John-Boy York.

After last season’s 17-week shitshow, for the first time in eight years of blogging I said nothing about the 2015 edition of San Francisco 49ers, the NFL’s long-running soap opera. This off-season is no exception. There’s an excellent chance by this time tomorrow,  Kaepernick will be on his way out of the city by the bay to become Payton Manning’s replacement as the quarterback of the Broncos.

Whoopie-damn-do. Stay or go.  Does it even matter? The Niners would probably be better with Kap than without it, but nobody wants to keep an unhappy employee around and especially one who’s been angling for a ticket out-of-town for months now.

Even if he stays, there’s a good chance Kap could still be moved if the 49ers draft a qb in next month’s NFL draft.  Because he’s maintained a stony silence, nobody knows for certain what he wants to do. Personally, I believe there were two teams he was best suited for: the Browns with Hue Jackson and the Eagles, before Chip Kelly was fired and became the Niners coach.

Will be your quarterback for $11 million.

The 49ers set the price high on Kap based on his past performance, not how awful he’s been for the past two seasons. Nobody was going to give up a 2nd round pick for him, but the Broncos offering a 4th round pick they didn’t even have was a joke and then a 5th was a bad joke.

The Browns made a better offer, but they wanted Kap to take a big pay cut and he balked at that. There’s no upside going from one bad team to another bad team. The Browns are probably better off with RGIII. He’s another QB whose career was once brimming with potential, but he got injured and went to war with his coach and teammates and lost badly. How many fallen stars does any team really need on the roster? At least Griffin’s not coming off a lousy season and still recovering from surgery.

Kaepernick and his agents gambled their was a hot market out there for his services and could bluff the 49ers into dealing him away. Problem was the team had no incentive to give him away for nothing. The Niners started asking for a high price for damaged goods, negotiated it down to a lower price and walked away from the Browns and Broncos when they couldn’t get the deal they wanted. Donald Trump would approve. Stuck with nowhere to go, Kaepernick’s refusal to take less than the $11 million he had guaranteed was the only smart decision he’s made.

These days $11 million is a lot for a backup, not for a starter. Even now, I’m sure Kap can beat out Blaine Gabbert. Not that the team is any better since they did nothing in free agency. This is a last place team and will continue to be for some time.

It would be nice if Kaepernick realized the best place to revitalize his career is right where he’s at. It would be nice if Chip Kelly could take that rocket arm, that mobility, that athleticism and add some touch, some ability to read defenses, check down to available receivers and the other things Kaepernick should be proficient at by now.

He isn’t and I wonder if he ever will be.    If Kaepernick doesn’t want to try to resuscitate his career with the 49ers, it’s probably going to have to be in Denver or nowhere.   There’s just not a lot of other teams beating down the doors to trade for a guy who looks like he’s been badly rattled and lost all his confidence.

Hang 'em up and move on, Kap. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Hang ’em up and move on, Kap. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)