Sarah Palin’s Smarter Brother

Dumb Ass and Even Dumber Ass

The greatest thing about America is how it allows absolutely terrible people to run for president.  With Terrible Ted Cruz announcing he wants to be the Most Powerful Man in the Free World, the GOP Clown Car finally has a driver with more morons soon to follow.

Ted Cruz is a natural for the presidency.  A natural asshole.  Being the most unliked dick in Washington is not a positive character trait.

Where’s this “deep bench” of candidates the Republicans keep bragging about? Looks more like a bunch of bench-warmers. A lot of guys want to run for president, but who’s the one who can actually beat Hillary Clinton? What difference does the choice of a lot of boring-ass White guys (and a Black guy who thinks like a boring-ass White guy) matter if the choices are all bad ones?

Having more bad choices than the Democrats have is nothing for Republicans to brag about. If Jeb Bush can’t outrun zombies like Cruz, Carson, and Huckabee to the party nomination, he’s got no business getting anywhere near Hillary. She’ll eviscerate him.

I don’t think much of RNC Chairman Reince Preibus, but I don’t think he’s stupid just because his name is.  Preibus knows he has to allow the illusion the nomination process is fair and open to all, but he’s not about to let the party sink like a stone with Captain Cruz guiding the GOP ship into an iceberg. The party bosses want the White House back and they know it takes a Bush or a Scott Walker or somebody else who isn’t frothing at the mouth to get it for them.

Hey, Canada is closer than Hawaii, right?

Cruz will not be the next President of the United States.  His path to winning is rally all the far-right (and White) conservatives to his side and the rest of the Republicans will fall in line to beat down Hillary.   ALL the conservatives will never side with ANY Republican candidate. Not even and especially not St. Ronald the Reagan who would be denounced by cretins like Cruz as a squishy RINO due to his willingness to work with Democrats.

Ted Cruz is unelectable.

Appealing exclusively to your base is not a broad-based strategy to win the presidency. Cruz is a seeker of confrontation, not compromise and while that plays well with the faithful, it’s a huge turn-off to everyone else.

Cruz’s values and priorities are too narrow (and scary!) to appeal to all but the most ideologically pure. Even other Republicans can’t stand the guy.

Running to the far Right of American political thought is not a strategy destined to succeed.  It’s only red meat to the fringes and is not a path to 270 electoral votes and without a winning strategy Cruz is simply another vanity candidate running for the ego stroke and the cheap publicity.

Let’s look forward to his appearance at the Republican debates where the other candidates will stand there rolling their eyes and clenching their fists as Cruz sneeringly dismisses the lot of them as fake-ass conservatives.   It’ll be fun to watch a Rick Perry or Mike Huckabee playing rock-paper-scissors for the right to kick Cruz’s ass.

A polarizing prima donna like Cruz whose only ideology is “If Obama’s for it, I’m against it” lacks a coherent strategy to bring together all the multiple factions of the GOP together. There are other more electable and less egotistical alternatives to Cruz, the Miley Cyrus of politics.

Cruz says the U.S. Senate needs 100 members just like the racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted asshole Jesse Helms, and that’s not hyperbole, that’s an easily established fact.

The last thing American politics needs are any more Jesse Helms and the same goes for the American presidency.  Especially, not the Canadian-born idiot son of a Cuban immigrant.

Disqualified,

Donald Trump Is Talking. Don’t Listen.

“I’m rich, White and I have terrible hair, so listen to everything I say.”

The President is on vacation.  Congress is on vacation (not that they’re doing much when they aren’t on vacation).   No real news is being generated, but if you work in the media that covers Washington politics, you’re not on vacation.  You still have to generate stories even when there are no stories.

So what do you do?   Make up stories and call that “news.”

August in Washington is always a slow dead month and the “lame-stream media” is always struggling to find something to put on to get the one or two folks not gearing up for football to watch or read their crap.   In the absence of real news they have to come up with some fake news.   Speculating about who might run for president is an easy way to fill space and kill time.  If you’re wrong in 2013, who’s going to remember three years from now?

Iowa and New Hampshire are two of the dullest states in America, but because that’s where the road to the White House begins if a politician flies over them, there’s a reporter waiting to write a story about “So-and-so is testing the waters.”  Yawn.  It’s boring, trivial, and trite, but it’s easy work to speculate over what Rand Paul or Ted Cruz might be up to though nobody not named Rand Paul or Ted Cruz thinks they have a snowball’s chance of becoming President.

Donald Trump went to Iowa to speak to a bunch of Republicans.   The rampaging egotist with the world’s worst comb over had stunning news to share with them.

It’s August. It’s too hot for this sort of stupidity.

Looking forward to 2016, Trump said he knows Hillary Clinton “very well,” and asserted that she’s “probably” going to be the Democratic candidate.

“It’s going to be in my opinion a tougher race than the last race,” he said. “Really tough. And somebody’s going to have to emerge who’s really strong. … The Republicans have to do what’s right. If they don’t pick the right person – it’s got to be the perfect person – they are going to get drubbed in the 2016 election.

Who doesn’t know Hillary Clinton is enormously popular, highly likely to run for president again and would be much tougher to beat?   After getting their ass handed to them twice by Barack Obama, is there a Republican living who thinks beating Hillary will a stroll in the park.

You’ll never guess who Trump believes who the “perfect person” is to beat Hillary in 2016?  Oh, go ahead!  You’ll never figure it out.

Trump has been wrong so many times about everything why do Republicans continue to treat him like a wise man?   I get they want him to write big checks for them, but I thought the idea was to stop being “the stupid party?”

Want to be taken seriously by the press?   First, be a White male if you can help it.   Then you need to be rich.   Money and the right color are prerequisites to be considered you know what you’re talking about.

Nobody said you had to be smart.

That’s all it takes.   Next thing you know you will be flown around the country and people will pay all your expenses for you to come and tell them things they already know.   Reporters will stick microphones in your face, furiously scribble down your ever word, and take you very seriously even when they should know better.

Thank you, Captain Obvious!  Next week Trump is going to announce the world is definitely round and eating too much chili will give you the runs.  Watch for Wolf Blitzer and CNN to break into their regular programming to bring you around-the-clock, in-depth, saturation coverage.

You can tell we’re in the silly season of the year.  Donald Trump is talking.  That doesn’t mean we have to listen.

“Donald…delete…Bill…delete…Barack…let it go to voice mail…”