Donald Trump Is Talking. Don’t Listen.

“I’m rich, White and I have terrible hair, so listen to everything I say.”

The President is on vacation.  Congress is on vacation (not that they’re doing much when they aren’t on vacation).   No real news is being generated, but if you work in the media that covers Washington politics, you’re not on vacation.  You still have to generate stories even when there are no stories.

So what do you do?   Make up stories and call that “news.”

August in Washington is always a slow dead month and the “lame-stream media” is always struggling to find something to put on to get the one or two folks not gearing up for football to watch or read their crap.   In the absence of real news they have to come up with some fake news.   Speculating about who might run for president is an easy way to fill space and kill time.  If you’re wrong in 2013, who’s going to remember three years from now?

Iowa and New Hampshire are two of the dullest states in America, but because that’s where the road to the White House begins if a politician flies over them, there’s a reporter waiting to write a story about “So-and-so is testing the waters.”  Yawn.  It’s boring, trivial, and trite, but it’s easy work to speculate over what Rand Paul or Ted Cruz might be up to though nobody not named Rand Paul or Ted Cruz thinks they have a snowball’s chance of becoming President.

Donald Trump went to Iowa to speak to a bunch of Republicans.   The rampaging egotist with the world’s worst comb over had stunning news to share with them.

It’s August. It’s too hot for this sort of stupidity.

Looking forward to 2016, Trump said he knows Hillary Clinton “very well,” and asserted that she’s “probably” going to be the Democratic candidate.

“It’s going to be in my opinion a tougher race than the last race,” he said. “Really tough. And somebody’s going to have to emerge who’s really strong. … The Republicans have to do what’s right. If they don’t pick the right person – it’s got to be the perfect person – they are going to get drubbed in the 2016 election.

Who doesn’t know Hillary Clinton is enormously popular, highly likely to run for president again and would be much tougher to beat?   After getting their ass handed to them twice by Barack Obama, is there a Republican living who thinks beating Hillary will a stroll in the park.

You’ll never guess who Trump believes who the “perfect person” is to beat Hillary in 2016?  Oh, go ahead!  You’ll never figure it out.

Trump has been wrong so many times about everything why do Republicans continue to treat him like a wise man?   I get they want him to write big checks for them, but I thought the idea was to stop being “the stupid party?”

Want to be taken seriously by the press?   First, be a White male if you can help it.   Then you need to be rich.   Money and the right color are prerequisites to be considered you know what you’re talking about.

Nobody said you had to be smart.

That’s all it takes.   Next thing you know you will be flown around the country and people will pay all your expenses for you to come and tell them things they already know.   Reporters will stick microphones in your face, furiously scribble down your ever word, and take you very seriously even when they should know better.

Thank you, Captain Obvious!  Next week Trump is going to announce the world is definitely round and eating too much chili will give you the runs.  Watch for Wolf Blitzer and CNN to break into their regular programming to bring you around-the-clock, in-depth, saturation coverage.

You can tell we’re in the silly season of the year.  Donald Trump is talking.  That doesn’t mean we have to listen.

“Donald…delete…Bill…delete…Barack…let it go to voice mail…”

The Last Word on the First Step to the White House

Mitt: "Hey Rick, you ever Google your last name?" Rick: "I really hate you Mitt."

I’d really like to get past all the opening acts and proceed directly to the Obama versus Mitt  brawl for it all, but we can’t fast forward it past the preliminaries to the main event quite yet, so instead of being first I’ll get the last word in on the Iowa caucus.  Mitt Romney  “won” by a whopping eight votes while  Rick Santorum could claim the title as  the newest Not Mitt Romney  with his surge into second place.

Romney came into Iowa late while Santorum practically moved in having traveled to every country in the state.   Romney’s victory almost qualifies as a tie and a tie with Santorum counts as a loss for Romney.

On to New Hampshire. Winning there won’t prove anything as that’s Romney’s firewall state and he’s expected to clobber all comers.   If Santorum is smart (and if he was he wouldn’t be Rick Santorum), he should forget New Hampshire, let Mitt have his cheap win there and go straight to South Carolina where his culture warrior extremism may play well.

I quit. Nobody cares.

The life of an Anti-Romney is a short one and it’s obviously Slick Rick II’s time to shine. Does he have staying power? Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich and Paul didn’t. Maybe he’ll be the one that does.   Or at least until Romney’s  super PACS get medieval on his ass.

Mitt will never going to be the guy the true believers love. They don’t believe he really believes what he’s saying and that as soon as he secures the nomination, he’s going to run so far and fast to the middle he will trample underfoot any Tea Partier that gets in his way.

Knowing this is his dilemma, Mitt won’t even waste time trying to win the love of the committed conservatives. He’ll just open up his wallet and crush Rick Santorum like a rotten orange.

Pop quiz, hotshot. What fourth-place finisher in Iowa said this about a month ago?

I’m going to be the nominee. It’s very hard not to look at the recent polls and think that the odds are very high I’m going to be the nominee.

"Vote for me and I'll get rid of the gays and Negroes."

Yep. That was Newt Gingrich swaggering and going all gangsta. Right up until Mittens and money opened up a big ol’ can of whup-ass negative ads and killed Newt’s momentum deader than Osama bin Laden.

Newt didn’t have the cash, the organization or the ability to punch back until it was all over. Santorum has the same trouble and will suffer the same fate.

Mitt isn’t going to pick anyone he doesn’t want and what does he get by picking Bachmann or Perry? Nothing. The Republicans already know they’re going to win Texas and probably Minnesota, so why pick a vice-president who (a) isn’t ready for the job and (b) brings nothing of use to the ticket?

Mitt knows he needs a battleground state. Somewhere like Florida (Marco Rubio, Rick Scott) or Virginia (Bob McDonnell) that takes it out of play for Obama and forces him to look elsewhere on the map for those much-needed electoral votes.

Second, I used to think as well, “Well, Mitt needs to appeal to the Tea Party.” And maybe he does, but not to the extent that appealing to them costs him the independent and disaffected Democratic vote. Mitt is the last Republican standing who can tack to the center in the general election. Santorum can’t and won’t. Paul could, but won’t. There’s nobody else left.

There’s not going to be a brokered convention. There isn’t going to be an 11th hour “real” conservative riding to the rescue. There’s just going to be Mitt and Barack and that’s all the choice you’re going to have besides flushing away your vote on a third-party loser.

Romney’s closing sales pitch is simple. Get all those Tea Partiers and evangelicals and other right-wingers in a room and make it so simple for them even they can’t get it confused.

You don’t like me and I don’t like you. That’s the way it is. but here’s something you may not realize. You don’t HAVE to like me. All you have to do is like the idea of a second term for Obama less.

Bottom line: Ruth Bader Ginsburg is old and she’s been sick. She might want to stay on the Supreme Court forever, but I’m gonna bet she doesn’t make it.

Eventually, she’s going to retire. Scalia might retire. Thomas too. Now who do you want choosing their replacement? Me or Obama?

He will appoint judges that will uphold Roe v. Wade. I won’t.

Now decide.

The remaining Republican candidates plot how to take down Obama

The 2012 Race Gets Real

Eight losers in search of the blessing from a winner's widow.

Tonight’s the night we get past the preliminaries and the 2012 presidential election really gets started.   All across the state of Iowa, the predominantly White, conservative evangelical populace will dutifully drag themselves into auditoriums, classrooms, living rooms and anywhere else they can congregate to caucus and make the case for their favorite Republican.

If the polls mean anything, Mitt Romney will come out on top by edging out Ron Paul and the recently returned to political relevance, Rick Santorum.  Newt Gingrich had his fling with Iowa, but he’s admitted he won win and with Romney likely to take New Hampshire as well, Gingrich along with Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann will take their show on the road to South Carolina and Florida in search of somewhere to plant their flag and slow Romney’s roll to the nomination.

No, I didn’t forget Jon Huntsman, but everyone else has.  If he doesn’t show well in New Hampshire it’s hard to envision where he could win.  Ditto for Perry, Bachmann, Gingrich and Santorum.  They don’t have Mitt’s organization, endorsements or deep pockets.

That leaves Paul who says he has no intentions of running as an independent, but hasn’t said he won’t either.   If he does, Paul would draw some votes from President Obama, but would be more of a help to him than Romney.   If Fox News and the conservative establishment keep saying mean things about him and Mitt doesn’t incorporate any of Paul’s messages into his campaign, I predict Paul will run a guerilla campaign against Obama and Romney, but he’s more likely to hurt the GOP nominee.

One last thing about Paul.  When I wrote two consecutive posts about his racist newsletters and refusal to sufficiently distance himself from them,  I knew the Paulinistas would be pissed.  I had hoped they might offer some sort of intelligent defense of their boy.   That hasn’t happened.

if thats all you can come up with to complain about ron paul then you should find new material to waste your time on, if you think he’s such a bad guy what do you think about these real fuck holes that manipulate your views and form your opinions for you, if you knew anything you would know ron paul isn’t a racist and you are more the racist for portraying that kind of material on your blog, be a little more realistic when reporting on real people.

It wasn’t his newsletter, it was a newsletter that he leant his name to. He was not involved in the production of the newsletter. Since the incident he has stopped lending his name out in such a manner. Ron Paul is a prolific writer who tends to reiterate his beliefs over and over again in his writings. He had never written anything like the newsletter before the newsletter, nor has he since. Therefore, there is no reason to not believe him. He didn’t write it. Period. Let it go.

Ron Paul supported desegregation of government institutions but was against imposing the same laws on private businesses because doing so would increase government power. And because both parts are in the civil rights act, he would have voted against it. This does not make him a racist. It makes him an idealist who sticks to his priciples and applies them accross the board no matter how unpopular. And no he does not want to repeal the Civil Rights Act, as that would be a collosal wast of time. The first thing he would do is end the Bush/Obama wars.

Why not list some of the recent civil rights legislation that Paul voted no on. I can garuntee that he did so because they increased government power.

Yes Paul voted against giving a congressional metal of honor to Rosa Parks. He votes against ALL congressional metals of honor including one for Mother Teresa. Why? Because he does not believe that congress has the authority spend the People’s money without the consent of the People. He did however offer to put up $100 of his own money for Rosa Park’s metal, and asked the other members of congress to do so also. They all declined.

Oh, and I’m Black and I support Ron Paul.

You have my sympathies, but being Black and a Ron Paul supporter is your problem.  You have the right to be wrong.

Ron Paul is not a racist. He’s just opposed to the 1964 Civil Rights Act, published, but never read the racist essays run in his own newsletters, and is “clueless” to Black and Latino culture and particularly of Mexican-Americans and “intolerant” of anyone speaking Spanish in his presence.

Adios, puta madre.

Ron Paul is not anti-Semitic. He just yelled at a group of Republican Jews until they walked out and thinks saving the Jews from Hitler’s Final Solution in WWII was a bad idea.

Ron Paul is not homophobic. He just doesn’t want to shake a gay man’s hand or use the same toilet a gay man uses and prefers to hold it until he can find a nice, clean public toilet in a restaurant where he can take a dump.

Ron Paul was a doctor. He obviously is fearful of getting gay cooties.

It’s a terrible thing to believe in someone who isn’t everything they present themselves are, but I don’t care if I haven’t convinced the Paulinistas their messiah is a bigot.  I’m convinced.  You’re on your own.

Maybe you’re not mistaken.  Maybe Ron Paul is your hope for a president you can believe in.

But if you’re not Black, possibly not gay, probably not in need of an abortion or of the Jewish faith, by all means, cast your fate to a bigoted wind.

Whatever happens in Iowa tonight will not produce the key moment in the 2012 race that totally altered it.  When Obama beat Hillary Clinton in 2008, it was a huge upset, but Clinton blunted Obama’s bounce by winning New Hampshire a week later.  Romney is the prohibitive front-runner and until someone emerges as the Anti-Romney, he’s still the most likely Republican to take on Obama.

Before we get to the main event we still have to suffer through the qualifying preliminaries.

Captain Brainfart’s Private Alamo

Coincidence? SURE, it's a coincidence.

It’s just sad what a desperate (and possibly closeted) politician will do when his polling numbers go right down the crapper.

When in doubt, go negative.   When your whole campaign is swirling down the pipes, go nasty and negative.  That’s what Rick Perry’s bottom-of-the-barrel “Strong” ad does.  Rarely do you see a man so desperately flailing to keep himself upright while simultaneously flinging poop in all directions.

In 30 seconds, Slick Rick bashes gays and liberals, implies the president hates religion and makes sure everybody knows he’s a CHRISTIAN (since there are a couple of other guys running who aren’t).

Pure whackadoodle pandering to the Iowa evangelical base because nothing says traditional values like raw homophobia and wrapping up your hate in that old-time religion.

The incredibly shrinking Captain Brainfart

The Republican playbook has been run to the Right in the primaries and pivot back to the center for the general election.   That’s proven to be sound advice, but when you’re barely a blip in the polls like Slick Rick,  you can’t finesse it.  You’ve got to go all negative all the time and throw that bloody chunk of raw meat to the base in hopes they will snap it up and start paying attention.

You can understand it from a desperate man’s point of view.  How would you feel if you were losing to Newt Gingrich?

The thing is, stuff hasn’t been going all that great with all these straight, super-religious freaks running the country Maybe it’s time to turn things over to the sodomites and infidels and give them a shot at running things?

One day they will write books about how awful a presidential campaign Governor Goodhair ran.  Perry may not know how many Supreme Court justices there are or how to pronounce their names, but he is a hunter and going gay-baiting may play well with evangelicals of Iowa.  So far it doesn’t seem to be helping him in the polls where he trails Gingrich, Mitt Romney and even his fellow Texan, Ron Paul.   Finishing fourth in Iowa could finish Perry entirely and wouldn’t that be a crying shame?

Man-whore Herman Cain dropped out the race (though there are real doubts if he ever was in the race) and though Isn’t the most representative state, it does an excellent job of expelling from the American body politic those candidates who don’t measure up.

Slick Rick is mere weeks away from facing his own personal Alamo when he faces the same fate of all foul waste products.

Jesus loves you Ricky. Everybody else thinks you’re an asshole.

Jon Huntsman: John McCain, Version 2.0

"I'm running for the one guy in Iowa who knows who the hell I am!"

Jon Huntsman is a former governor of Utah and President Obama’s former ambassador to China.  He is also part of a dying breed; a moderate Republican who doesn’t see government as the enemy of all that’s holy and favors civil unions for gays.  This week Huntsman announced he was running to replace his former boss as a candidate for the presidency.

TIME called Huntsman “the candidate the Democrats most fear.”

Huntsman is smart, charismatic, a deep thinker and believes in civility instead of confrontation.  The national media loves the guy, but they can’t make him the Republican nominee for president.   The voters in the Republican primaries next year can, but as most of them have never even heard of Jon Huntsman it remains to be seen if they will.

My best guess is they won’t.

Huntsman would be a formidable challenger for President Obama.   If he were running as a Democrat. But he’s not and it is unlikely he will ever get a chance to running as a Republican.

How does a moderate Republican who worked in the Obama Administration become the presidential candidate of a far Right GOP? I don’t see Huntsman’s path to the presidency. Reading a story in the Washington Post by Dana Milbank and it’s clear to me he’s a decent enough guy, but no way are the Tea Party types and other red meat Republicans going to get behind this guy.

"You're doing a remarkable job, boss, but I could do it better."

“Huntsman, who was until recently President Obama’s ambassador to China and yet who notably didn’t mention Obama by name in his kickoff speech, made a plea for “civility, humanity and respect” — the very qualities our political system seems to abhor.

I wish Huntsman luck in this noble pursuit, but the high road almost always leads to political oblivion. For Huntsman to maintain his course all the way to the Republican presidential nomination would turn politics on its head. More likely, he will join other decent men — Richard Lugar, Orrin Hatch — whose presidential campaigns were quickly forgotten.

Early signs suggest Huntsman will do no better. Polls show upward of six in 10 Republicans don’t know enough about him to form an opinion. In Iowa, where Huntsman has said he will not compete, one poll found total support for Huntsman of one — not 1 percent, but one person.”

It would be hard not to be viable when compared to some of the nitwits and dimwits and half-wits already splashing around in the GOP presidential pool. But electable? I’m not convinced yet. If Huntsman is skipping Iowa and depending on New Hampshire or South Carolina to make him a player, chances are he’ll just be a trivial contest question soon.

Huntsman is the media’s favorite Republican. The ability to sound like a rational and sane adult in a race full of Bachmanns, Cains and Santorums is easy..  It’s his decision to skip the Iowa caucuses that bafflles me.  You might think if Huntsman is so darn charismatic and likable that would play well in Iowa where retail politics can turn an unknown into a contender.

Will he take New Hampshire away from Mitt Romney? I guess that’s possible if he camps out there for x amount of months, but that’s a place where he won’t be favored. South Carolina? Fuhgeddaboutit. His kind of moderation won’t play well there.

Huntsman seems to be pinning his hopes on open primary states such as New Hampshire and Florida where Democrats and independents can cast a vote for him.   The question is why would they?   Simply because the New York Times thinks Huntsman is the kind of cool conservative who isn’t mean or a whack job doesn’t mean people are going to turn out in large enough numbers to deny Romney or some other red meat right-winger the GOP nomination.

No matter how little conservatives like Romney or the Mormon faith he and Huntsman share, they will hold their noses and back him before they do a former Obama appointee that has gone rogue.

Huntsman is a decent guy, but does he have a decent shot at the nomination?

Florida is where Huntsman has planted his campaign flag.  Then, so did another “moderate” in 2008,  Rudy Giuliani, and we saw how that played out.

Huntsman’s main constituency is the press. He’s become the latest version of “the liberal media’s favorite Republican.” This is a position that has been occupied by such folks as John McCain, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Christine Todd Whitman. Now it’s Huntsman’s turn to be adored by the media for his moderation and most likely rejected by his party for it.

Huntsman will be the gentlest of the Republicans in his criticisms of the president, but the letter he wrote calling Obama “a remarkable leader” is something Huntsman will be slammed with in every debate he shows up for. . I’m just not seeing how he wins the nomination and I haven’t seen a scenario presented that convinces me there is one.

Jon Huntsman is John McCain 2.0 but even less likely to get a chance at beating his former employer.