Who Called Michele Bachmann a Deceptive Female Dog?

"Bring me the head of Jimmy Fallon!"

Paying a visit to the Jimmy Fallon show, Michele Bachmann gets serenaded by a strange musical number by the house band led by Roots drummer (and Occupy Wall Street supporter) ?uestlove.

An instrumental version of Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch”

Best punk’d moment for a politician this year.and I don’t know Jimmy Fallon from Jimmy Kimmel.

Both sides of the political spectrum get their giggles when and where they can and if skewering pompous politicians becomes off-limits, please let me know when that law is passed so I can mock it mercilessly and flaunt it relentlessly.

Michelle Obama and Jill Biden attended a NASCAR event last weekend and got booed for their trouble. Maybe I should be bent about that, but when the typical attendees of NASCAR probably aren’t your typical Obama demographic, so if you walk into the lion’s den wearing meat underwear you can hardly squawk when you get bit.

Let the Fishbone revival begin!

The same principle goes for Bachmann going on the Jimmy Fallon show. Meet the Press it ain’t so if a pompous, stick up the butt, humorless prig like Michele Bachmann gets taken down a peg, I don’t apologize for finding it funny. It’s about time she got called on the hateful shit that spews out of her piehole.

She’s said far worse about entire groups of folks that don’t fit into her narrow-minded worldview including “gays are part of Satan,”

Here’s another of Michele’s lies. She signed a pledge that stated Black families were better off as slaves than living in an America with a Black president.

“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.”

The Minnesota soccer mommy turned right-wing presidential candidate demanded an apology from Fallon as she huffed, “This is an outrage,” Bachmann told political reporting site the Hill. “The point is, if that had been Michelle Obama who had come out on the stage and that song had been played to Michelle Obama, I have no doubt that NBC would have apologized to her. This is clearly a form of bias on the side of the entertainment elite.”

Baby, you ain’t Michelle Obama and you’ve said and I know you can’t be serious about wanting an apology.   Not with all the people you’ve offended over the years.   Where the hell is your apology for that bullshit about slavery?

Bachmann is the worst kind of right-winger. She immerses herself in bigotry and then when she gets a small dose of it tossed back in her Botoxed mug, she squawks like a wet hen.

Humor is subjective and comedy isn’t pretty as Steve Martin said. I don’t have a problem with the clever way The Roots took down one pompous politician any more than I do with Fishbone making a song called “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” in the first place.   Hell, I’m pleased at an opportunity to mention Fishbone.

Getting dogged out by the instrumental version of a naughty song isn’t disrespect, it’s karma and if karma is a bitch, at least she’s not a lyin’ ass one.

Even Michele Bachmann Deserves A Break

Even right-wingers deserve a fair shake.

The two hardest words in the English language to say are “I’m sorry.”  The second hardest are, “I was wrong.”

I’m sorry.  I was wrong.

This week I published a blog post entitled “Who Likes White People?”  Michelle Bachmann Does!   This was prompted by a video that circulated around the web of Bachmann speaking at a rally where she greeted the crowd with a question:  “Who likes White people?” 

At least she would have if she had actually said it.  She didn’t.   It seems there was a thunderstorm that came down upon the crowd before Bachmann took the stage.   What she actually said was, “Who likes WET people?”

No, that doesn’t make much sense to me either, but then I don’t expend much energy trying to figure out why Bachmann says the things she does..  However,  that is what she actually said before some joker got ahold of the video and manipulated the audio from “wet” to “white.”

Both the post and the video have both been removed from The Domino Theory never to be seen or heard from again.  Sometimes if a story sounds too good to be true it means it probably isn’t.

An edited video that makes it appear as if Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann asked an Iowa crowd, “Who likes white people?” is quickly spreading around the Web. However, if you watch the full, unedited version of the video, it’s clear the Minnesota congresswoman said something very different.

Bachmann made a campaign stop at the Midwest Spirit Christian Music Festival on Aug. 5 in West Des Moines to give a speech about her Christian faith. It was raining during her the appearance, so when Bachmann took the stage, she asked, “Who likes wet people?” referring to the still-damp masses who stuck around for her talk.

“Yeah, that’s right. Because we have the God of the winds and the rain don’t we?” she said immediately after–a key phrasing that was edited out of the shorter clip. “We serve a mighty God.”

Am I a bit embarrassed to have been taken in by an Internet prankster?  Yes I am.  Is there a part of me that wishes Bachmann had said something so ridiculous?   Yes there is.  Yet despite the fact that nothing I write on this blog will in any way, shape or form, impact upon Bachmann’s run for the Republican presidential nomination, I can’t consider myself any sort of ethical journalist if I publish something that is proven to be false.

I know of some bloggers who call themselves “citizen journalists” which is simply a way of claiming they should be taken seriously the same as any trained and professional journalist even if they have no training or experience as journalists. 

That is an escape hatch I don’t choose to use myself.

I’m not any kind of “citizen  journalist.”   I’m a journalist who writes a blog.   The occasional usage of four-letter words should be a tip-off I’m not playing by the Associated Press Stylebook.   This is an outlet for my opinions and some are better formulated than others.  

I can’t make this work if I’m willfully misleading or carelessly sloppy.   There’s no way I can rip someone  like Andrew Breitbart for deliberately maligning Shirley Sherrod if I’m equally willing to play fast and loose with the facts.

It’s not as if there aren’t enough odd things said by Bachmann on a regular basis. After Hurricane Irene blew through Bachmann quipped,  “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet, and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

"See! I made those liberal bloggers back down. Say you're sorry! SAY IT!"

It’s not like there’s any need to make up stuff about Bachmann.  Soooner or later she’ll say something that justifies holding her up for ridicule.  This time though basic fairness demands I set the record straight.

I apologize to anyone whom I misled with the doctored Michelle Bachmann video.   I know she’ll never see this and it’s even less likely she would accept it, but I apologize to Michelle Bachmann as well.

In my 19 years as a journalist this is the first retraction I’ve ever had to make .  Trying to maintain some sort of ethical standard isn’t always as easy as it looks.   What do I regret most?  I really regret all those extra hits to the blog made over a mistake.   

Who’s Afraid of Michele Bachmann?

Michele Bachmann is now officially in the race for the Republican nomination for president.  Early polling in Iowa has its native daughter running second behind front-runner Mitt Romney just one point behind and breathing down Romney’s neck.

Oh snap!  Did the sun rise in the West today?  Lemme go check!

Nope.  Situation normal.  World did not end.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.

I understand the proclivity to look at the most extreme candidates climbing out of the Republican clown car, see which one has the thousand mile death stare and starts eating their own foot and declare, “Okay, THAT’S the craziest one.”

One right-wing extremist Congresswoman from Minnesota who practices a scary brand of polarizing politics has so terrified liberals that they have turned in a monster of Godzilla size proportions..  However, while Bachmann is not a total lightweight, she’s not unbeatable either.

Is Bachmann a contender?  Maybe in the primaries because she has name recognition and can raise cash, but she’s far out to ever attract the independents and crossover Democrats she would need to win in a general election. Here’s the thing: the American voter does not like extremists from either end of the political spectrum.

Bachmann will raise sand during the primaries for a while, but at the end of the day the GOP will choose a much more mainstream candidate who better suits the voters palate. Will Bachmann raise a little commotion until she flames out? Sure she will, but the smallest rocks make a big noise when they’re rattling around in a can.

Could Bachmann end up as someone’s vice-president? Sure, if someone like Mitt Romney who is weak with evangelicals and the Tea Party gets the nomination, but that’s not a guarantee. I can’t figure out why everyone seems to have made Bachmann the Antichrist Superstar who sends down fire and damnation upon all the goddless libs when she takes office. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Michele Bachmann is unelectable. I’m not a Republican, but I know the Republicans want to build on their 2010 momentum. They have the House, the Senate is within their grasp and they only need to put up a credible and mainstream candidate to run the table and take the White House back too. Bachmann is great to whip up interest and excitement in the conservative base for 2012, but she is toxic to any hope of beating Obama.

Americans don’t like extremists and you don’t get much more extreme that Bachmann. They may find her entertaining, but there aren’t enough evangelicals and Tea Partiers to push her all the way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Obama could be a one-term president.  Yet, along with all the drawbacks of being the incumbent, there’s all the perks as well. His challengers are reactive and can only talk about what has happened and how they would do the job if they had it. Obama can be proactive and has the opportunity to make things happen.

"John Wayne Gacy's America is the one I want to live in."

Conservatism is all alive and well and this is a far more conservative country than a liberal one. A conservative is more likely to win the presidency than a liberal. The Democrats haven’t nominated a hardcore liberal since George McGovern in 1972 and he got slaughtered by Tricky Dick Nixon.

But America is even more centrist than it is conservative.  A serious candidate for the presidency has to present themselves as a reasonable moderate who can straddle the middle and reach across the aisle to the opposing side. Americans eat this “bipartisan” stuff up with a spoon.

Bachmann can’t do that. She’s too far out to even attempt to pull off that kind of act. You’d have a better chance of getting Snooki to play Lady Macbeth than Bachmann play a moderate.

If Obama can’t get the unemployment figures down under 10 percent he will probably end up joining them and maybe he should. It’s not entirely his fault the economy is so lousy, but he’s the one who would get the credit if it turns around and he’ll deserve the blame if it doesn’t.

But Bachmann being Obama?  Please.  Right now she looks formidable because she is defining herself. But when the other candidates start breaking out the sharper knives there will be blood.   The longer she keeps shooting her herself in the foot trying to praise John Wayne but ends up praising notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy instead, the easier she makes the job of an opposition researcher.

Never forget that whatever else he may be, Barack Obama is an excellent campaigner.

Obama is beatable. But he won’t be beaten by Michele Bachmann.

Michele Bachmann is Sarah Palin with a work ethic.

These are not the eyes of a rational person.

Another week, another crazy-ass Republican candidate gets in the race. Oooooo…and check this one out. She’s smart. She’s a lawyer. She’s a formidable fundraiser.

She’s also out of her damn mind.

Michele “Batshit” Bachmann is Sarah Palin with a work ethic. So she came in second behind Mitt Romney in the “debate” this week. Big damn whoop. Look at the other contenders. Pawlenty, Gingrich, Paul, Santorum and Cain. That’s not exactly the Miami Heat line-up the GOP is throwing out there.

She got through the event without saying anything grandly stupid or eating her own foot on live television. I’m so impressed. She did however mangle her answer on DADT when she said she as President she would ask the Commander(s) in Chief what they think should be done (uh, that would be you, dumb ass).

There seems to be a tendency to inflate the awesomeness of the Republican field and not their staggering mediocrity and extremism. Goofballs like Bachmann wouldn’t even win their own home state in an election. How formidable is that? It’s like Mitt the Millionaire joking how he was unemployed too. Haw haw. What a laff riot that Mittens is!

Problem is when you look at the two ex-governors, one ex-Senator, one ex-Speaker of the House and a ex-CEO of a pizza company standing at the podiums in New Hampshire this week it dawned on me only Batshit Bachmann and Paul actually had a job. A lot of these Republicans are running for the presidency so they can get back to work. Lazy slobs!

Bachmann’s not running for president. Not really, because she knows her record is too far out of the mainstream to appeal to voters in a general election.  She’s a scary woman with scary views and no matter how many times she mentions her 23 foster children, it won’t change that.  Bachmann is well positioned to be on the bottom of a  Republican ticket, not the top of it.

She’s running for second place for when someone like Mittens or Pawlenty needs to shore up their Tea Party support. Even John Boehner knew better than to give Bachmann a leadership role in the House though she badly wanted one. There’s no place for her to go in the House as Boehner doesn’t want her in a leadership position.  Even he’s afraid of Bachmann’s extremism.

If she increases her national profile high enough she could still get out of the presidential race in time and challenge Minnesota’s senior Senator Amy Kloubuchar for her seat or run again for her own Congressional seat. What’s she got to lose from raising her national profile a bit? It paid off big for Palin so it’s a savvy play.

But I’m not yet ready to declare it a winning play.

What? Me crazy?

USA Today was part of the sniveling chorus of media approval that was charmed and amazed by Bachmann’s performance describing her as “lively, confident” and “personable.”

Well, here’s my opinion…

Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.
Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.
Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.

And oh yeah….Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.

That’s my opinion and it stands…

Being born with ovaries instead of testicles shouldn’t make you more susceptible to criticism and it shouldn’t make you impervious to criticism either. I say Mrs. Bachmann is fucking batshit crazy because of the things she says, the positions she supports, and the things she does that in my opinion make this country a worse, not a better place.

Am I trying to “diminish” Bachmann?  Why, yes, I am. I really don’t want her anywhere near the U.S. Senate or the Oval Office. She’s terrible as a member of the House of Representatives. She would be a total catastrophe in higher office where she could really wreak havoc with her homophobic, xenophobic, extremist views.

Bachmann gets no pass from me. I have both criticized her stances while expressing grudging admiration for her political acumen and skills. Being a woman doesn’t make her a soft target for my scorn and it doesn’t place her off-limits either.

Bachmann wants to be a player. Fine. It’s a free country. But the notion that she can’t be criticized is ridiculous. It’s just a different kind of sexism. Hey, you wouldn’t hit a girl would you?

She’s in politics. She can take the slings and arrows. This is hardball, not softball. You play the game and you take the same hits as everybody else.

Even if you happen to be a woman.