There Will Be (More) Blood

You'd look like her too if you had to see Newt Gingrich naked all the time.

The Mitt Romney Inevitability Express went off the rails in South Carolina as the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party found himself losing a race he thought he had won to a fat, unlikable, career politician with an even stupider nickname than his, Newton Leroy Gingrich, also known and despised as Newt.

What made Mitt’s trip down South really suck was he thought after Iowa the torrent of negative ads he and the unaffiliated Super PACS had launched against the former Speaker of the House had finished him off..  However, the lust of GOP conservatives for someone to articulate their hatred of President Obama burns strong as does their desire for an alternative to the rich Mormon who stashes his cash in the Cayman Island.  Losing to Newt 40 percent to 27 percent should send a clear message to the Massachusetts millionaire: the rank and file just aren’t into you–still.

I missed the Republican debate the other night where Gingrich went right-the-freak-off on CNN’s John King for having the elephant balls to ask him about ex-wife, Marianne Gingrich’s accusation that the Newster wanted an open marriage so he could continue banging his booty call and eventual third wife, Callista.

Life is too short to waste it on bad movies, bad music, and bad politicians bumping their gums talkin’ loud and sayin’ nothin’.  I know there was a debate the other night.  I had far more important things to do than watch that crap.  Like peeling a potato or clipping my toenails or picking lint out of my belly button.

South Carolina doesn’t totally change the Republican race as much as it makes it possible  it might go on longer than the experts had though.  Romney believed he had things locked up once Chris Christie decided to stay home eating donuts.  Christie was the only candidate who could have pulled together the diverse wings of the GOP in a united front against President Obama.   His decision to sit out 2012 prompted most of the big money and establishment decided to fall in line behind Romney leaving the hard core Right with nowhere to go and no one to slow Mitt’s roll to the nomination.

But a funny thing happened on the road to Inevitability.   Here we are three contests in and the front-runner’s only victory came in a state he was supposed to win.   The scorecard so far reads Rick Santorum winning Iowa, Mittens taking New Hampshire and the Newster rising from the ashes to kick Mitt’s ass in South Carolina.  Now it’s on to Florida where the results could boost the winner of that state to a the inside track to the nomination or scramble the race so badly, Mitt and Newt might slug it out all the way through January into the spring.

South Carolina did us the great favor of ending the campaigns of Rick Perry and Jon Huntsman.  So why is Ron Paul hanging on for?  Paul’s support is loud but not broad.  He came in third in Iowa, settled for second in New Hampshire, was dead on arrival and if he steps foot in Florida the only reason will be to work on his tan and get a fresh-squeezed glass of orange juice.   Florida is heavily made up of elderly Jewish voters and though Paul is 76-years old, his anti-Israel, anti-Social Security rhetoric won’t play there.

In a normal year, a sleazy douchebag like Newt Gingrich would be bumping around in the lower strata with the rest of the also-rans, but this is not a normal year.  If his record of unethical behavior weren’t enough to sink him like a stone, Newt’s loose zipper would be enough to disqualify him from serious consideration as a serious contender.  Newt is such a man-whore that if he were elected president he would be our commander-in-briefs (tip of the hat to Sandra Booker for that one) whose roving eye means at any moment he might up and leave America for a younger and fresher country (and thank you Rena Marrocco for that).

Regardless of South Carolina, Newt is still big pimpin’ with small bills.  He doesn’t have Romney’s resources to wage a long, protracted and expensive war of attrition.   It may take Romney longer than he planned and cost him more money before he finally crushes the Newt under his heel, but the bet here is when the final drop of blood is spilled in the GOP Civil War, Mittens will be the victor.

But Mitt will have to try to get to the right of Newt to knock him out and the further he drifts away from his moderate reputation, the harder it will be for him to get back and disavow all the positions he’s taken that will be showing up in Obama 2012 attack ads.

Football is my favorite sport, but watching Republicans claw, fang and devour each other is my favorite bloodsport. It’s been simply splendid entertainment.

You don't like me. You REALLY don't like me.

The Last Word on the First Step to the White House

Mitt: "Hey Rick, you ever Google your last name?" Rick: "I really hate you Mitt."

I’d really like to get past all the opening acts and proceed directly to the Obama versus Mitt  brawl for it all, but we can’t fast forward it past the preliminaries to the main event quite yet, so instead of being first I’ll get the last word in on the Iowa caucus.  Mitt Romney  “won” by a whopping eight votes while  Rick Santorum could claim the title as  the newest Not Mitt Romney  with his surge into second place.

Romney came into Iowa late while Santorum practically moved in having traveled to every country in the state.   Romney’s victory almost qualifies as a tie and a tie with Santorum counts as a loss for Romney.

On to New Hampshire. Winning there won’t prove anything as that’s Romney’s firewall state and he’s expected to clobber all comers.   If Santorum is smart (and if he was he wouldn’t be Rick Santorum), he should forget New Hampshire, let Mitt have his cheap win there and go straight to South Carolina where his culture warrior extremism may play well.

I quit. Nobody cares.

The life of an Anti-Romney is a short one and it’s obviously Slick Rick II’s time to shine. Does he have staying power? Bachmann, Perry, Cain, Gingrich and Paul didn’t. Maybe he’ll be the one that does.   Or at least until Romney’s  super PACS get medieval on his ass.

Mitt will never going to be the guy the true believers love. They don’t believe he really believes what he’s saying and that as soon as he secures the nomination, he’s going to run so far and fast to the middle he will trample underfoot any Tea Partier that gets in his way.

Knowing this is his dilemma, Mitt won’t even waste time trying to win the love of the committed conservatives. He’ll just open up his wallet and crush Rick Santorum like a rotten orange.

Pop quiz, hotshot. What fourth-place finisher in Iowa said this about a month ago?

I’m going to be the nominee. It’s very hard not to look at the recent polls and think that the odds are very high I’m going to be the nominee.

"Vote for me and I'll get rid of the gays and Negroes."

Yep. That was Newt Gingrich swaggering and going all gangsta. Right up until Mittens and money opened up a big ol’ can of whup-ass negative ads and killed Newt’s momentum deader than Osama bin Laden.

Newt didn’t have the cash, the organization or the ability to punch back until it was all over. Santorum has the same trouble and will suffer the same fate.

Mitt isn’t going to pick anyone he doesn’t want and what does he get by picking Bachmann or Perry? Nothing. The Republicans already know they’re going to win Texas and probably Minnesota, so why pick a vice-president who (a) isn’t ready for the job and (b) brings nothing of use to the ticket?

Mitt knows he needs a battleground state. Somewhere like Florida (Marco Rubio, Rick Scott) or Virginia (Bob McDonnell) that takes it out of play for Obama and forces him to look elsewhere on the map for those much-needed electoral votes.

Second, I used to think as well, “Well, Mitt needs to appeal to the Tea Party.” And maybe he does, but not to the extent that appealing to them costs him the independent and disaffected Democratic vote. Mitt is the last Republican standing who can tack to the center in the general election. Santorum can’t and won’t. Paul could, but won’t. There’s nobody else left.

There’s not going to be a brokered convention. There isn’t going to be an 11th hour “real” conservative riding to the rescue. There’s just going to be Mitt and Barack and that’s all the choice you’re going to have besides flushing away your vote on a third-party loser.

Romney’s closing sales pitch is simple. Get all those Tea Partiers and evangelicals and other right-wingers in a room and make it so simple for them even they can’t get it confused.

You don’t like me and I don’t like you. That’s the way it is. but here’s something you may not realize. You don’t HAVE to like me. All you have to do is like the idea of a second term for Obama less.

Bottom line: Ruth Bader Ginsburg is old and she’s been sick. She might want to stay on the Supreme Court forever, but I’m gonna bet she doesn’t make it.

Eventually, she’s going to retire. Scalia might retire. Thomas too. Now who do you want choosing their replacement? Me or Obama?

He will appoint judges that will uphold Roe v. Wade. I won’t.

Now decide.

The remaining Republican candidates plot how to take down Obama

The 2012 Race Gets Real

Eight losers in search of the blessing from a winner's widow.

Tonight’s the night we get past the preliminaries and the 2012 presidential election really gets started.   All across the state of Iowa, the predominantly White, conservative evangelical populace will dutifully drag themselves into auditoriums, classrooms, living rooms and anywhere else they can congregate to caucus and make the case for their favorite Republican.

If the polls mean anything, Mitt Romney will come out on top by edging out Ron Paul and the recently returned to political relevance, Rick Santorum.  Newt Gingrich had his fling with Iowa, but he’s admitted he won win and with Romney likely to take New Hampshire as well, Gingrich along with Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann will take their show on the road to South Carolina and Florida in search of somewhere to plant their flag and slow Romney’s roll to the nomination.

No, I didn’t forget Jon Huntsman, but everyone else has.  If he doesn’t show well in New Hampshire it’s hard to envision where he could win.  Ditto for Perry, Bachmann, Gingrich and Santorum.  They don’t have Mitt’s organization, endorsements or deep pockets.

That leaves Paul who says he has no intentions of running as an independent, but hasn’t said he won’t either.   If he does, Paul would draw some votes from President Obama, but would be more of a help to him than Romney.   If Fox News and the conservative establishment keep saying mean things about him and Mitt doesn’t incorporate any of Paul’s messages into his campaign, I predict Paul will run a guerilla campaign against Obama and Romney, but he’s more likely to hurt the GOP nominee.

One last thing about Paul.  When I wrote two consecutive posts about his racist newsletters and refusal to sufficiently distance himself from them,  I knew the Paulinistas would be pissed.  I had hoped they might offer some sort of intelligent defense of their boy.   That hasn’t happened.

if thats all you can come up with to complain about ron paul then you should find new material to waste your time on, if you think he’s such a bad guy what do you think about these real fuck holes that manipulate your views and form your opinions for you, if you knew anything you would know ron paul isn’t a racist and you are more the racist for portraying that kind of material on your blog, be a little more realistic when reporting on real people.

It wasn’t his newsletter, it was a newsletter that he leant his name to. He was not involved in the production of the newsletter. Since the incident he has stopped lending his name out in such a manner. Ron Paul is a prolific writer who tends to reiterate his beliefs over and over again in his writings. He had never written anything like the newsletter before the newsletter, nor has he since. Therefore, there is no reason to not believe him. He didn’t write it. Period. Let it go.

Ron Paul supported desegregation of government institutions but was against imposing the same laws on private businesses because doing so would increase government power. And because both parts are in the civil rights act, he would have voted against it. This does not make him a racist. It makes him an idealist who sticks to his priciples and applies them accross the board no matter how unpopular. And no he does not want to repeal the Civil Rights Act, as that would be a collosal wast of time. The first thing he would do is end the Bush/Obama wars.

Why not list some of the recent civil rights legislation that Paul voted no on. I can garuntee that he did so because they increased government power.

Yes Paul voted against giving a congressional metal of honor to Rosa Parks. He votes against ALL congressional metals of honor including one for Mother Teresa. Why? Because he does not believe that congress has the authority spend the People’s money without the consent of the People. He did however offer to put up $100 of his own money for Rosa Park’s metal, and asked the other members of congress to do so also. They all declined.

Oh, and I’m Black and I support Ron Paul.

You have my sympathies, but being Black and a Ron Paul supporter is your problem.  You have the right to be wrong.

Ron Paul is not a racist. He’s just opposed to the 1964 Civil Rights Act, published, but never read the racist essays run in his own newsletters, and is “clueless” to Black and Latino culture and particularly of Mexican-Americans and “intolerant” of anyone speaking Spanish in his presence.

Adios, puta madre.

Ron Paul is not anti-Semitic. He just yelled at a group of Republican Jews until they walked out and thinks saving the Jews from Hitler’s Final Solution in WWII was a bad idea.

Ron Paul is not homophobic. He just doesn’t want to shake a gay man’s hand or use the same toilet a gay man uses and prefers to hold it until he can find a nice, clean public toilet in a restaurant where he can take a dump.

Ron Paul was a doctor. He obviously is fearful of getting gay cooties.

It’s a terrible thing to believe in someone who isn’t everything they present themselves are, but I don’t care if I haven’t convinced the Paulinistas their messiah is a bigot.  I’m convinced.  You’re on your own.

Maybe you’re not mistaken.  Maybe Ron Paul is your hope for a president you can believe in.

But if you’re not Black, possibly not gay, probably not in need of an abortion or of the Jewish faith, by all means, cast your fate to a bigoted wind.

Whatever happens in Iowa tonight will not produce the key moment in the 2012 race that totally altered it.  When Obama beat Hillary Clinton in 2008, it was a huge upset, but Clinton blunted Obama’s bounce by winning New Hampshire a week later.  Romney is the prohibitive front-runner and until someone emerges as the Anti-Romney, he’s still the most likely Republican to take on Obama.

Before we get to the main event we still have to suffer through the qualifying preliminaries.

Michele Bachmann is Sarah Palin with a work ethic.

These are not the eyes of a rational person.

Another week, another crazy-ass Republican candidate gets in the race. Oooooo…and check this one out. She’s smart. She’s a lawyer. She’s a formidable fundraiser.

She’s also out of her damn mind.

Michele “Batshit” Bachmann is Sarah Palin with a work ethic. So she came in second behind Mitt Romney in the “debate” this week. Big damn whoop. Look at the other contenders. Pawlenty, Gingrich, Paul, Santorum and Cain. That’s not exactly the Miami Heat line-up the GOP is throwing out there.

She got through the event without saying anything grandly stupid or eating her own foot on live television. I’m so impressed. She did however mangle her answer on DADT when she said she as President she would ask the Commander(s) in Chief what they think should be done (uh, that would be you, dumb ass).

There seems to be a tendency to inflate the awesomeness of the Republican field and not their staggering mediocrity and extremism. Goofballs like Bachmann wouldn’t even win their own home state in an election. How formidable is that? It’s like Mitt the Millionaire joking how he was unemployed too. Haw haw. What a laff riot that Mittens is!

Problem is when you look at the two ex-governors, one ex-Senator, one ex-Speaker of the House and a ex-CEO of a pizza company standing at the podiums in New Hampshire this week it dawned on me only Batshit Bachmann and Paul actually had a job. A lot of these Republicans are running for the presidency so they can get back to work. Lazy slobs!

Bachmann’s not running for president. Not really, because she knows her record is too far out of the mainstream to appeal to voters in a general election.  She’s a scary woman with scary views and no matter how many times she mentions her 23 foster children, it won’t change that.  Bachmann is well positioned to be on the bottom of a  Republican ticket, not the top of it.

She’s running for second place for when someone like Mittens or Pawlenty needs to shore up their Tea Party support. Even John Boehner knew better than to give Bachmann a leadership role in the House though she badly wanted one. There’s no place for her to go in the House as Boehner doesn’t want her in a leadership position.  Even he’s afraid of Bachmann’s extremism.

If she increases her national profile high enough she could still get out of the presidential race in time and challenge Minnesota’s senior Senator Amy Kloubuchar for her seat or run again for her own Congressional seat. What’s she got to lose from raising her national profile a bit? It paid off big for Palin so it’s a savvy play.

But I’m not yet ready to declare it a winning play.

What? Me crazy?

USA Today was part of the sniveling chorus of media approval that was charmed and amazed by Bachmann’s performance describing her as “lively, confident” and “personable.”

Well, here’s my opinion…

Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.
Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.
Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.

And oh yeah….Michele Bachmann is fucking batshit-crazy.

That’s my opinion and it stands…

Being born with ovaries instead of testicles shouldn’t make you more susceptible to criticism and it shouldn’t make you impervious to criticism either. I say Mrs. Bachmann is fucking batshit crazy because of the things she says, the positions she supports, and the things she does that in my opinion make this country a worse, not a better place.

Am I trying to “diminish” Bachmann?  Why, yes, I am. I really don’t want her anywhere near the U.S. Senate or the Oval Office. She’s terrible as a member of the House of Representatives. She would be a total catastrophe in higher office where she could really wreak havoc with her homophobic, xenophobic, extremist views.

Bachmann gets no pass from me. I have both criticized her stances while expressing grudging admiration for her political acumen and skills. Being a woman doesn’t make her a soft target for my scorn and it doesn’t place her off-limits either.

Bachmann wants to be a player. Fine. It’s a free country. But the notion that she can’t be criticized is ridiculous. It’s just a different kind of sexism. Hey, you wouldn’t hit a girl would you?

She’s in politics. She can take the slings and arrows. This is hardball, not softball. You play the game and you take the same hits as everybody else.

Even if you happen to be a woman.