The Sorority Nobody Wanted to Join.

Cosby victims

(photo: New York magazine)

“I walk her out. She does not look angry. She does not say to me, don’t ever do that again. She doesn’t walk out with an attitude of a huff, because I think I’m a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things, whatever you want to call them.”

~ Bill Cosby speaking about Andrea Constand in his 2005 deposition.
The most powerful image on the Internet today is a simple one. 35 women sitting on a chair. The youngest is and the oldest. 35 women with somber, serious and at points nearly blank looks on their faces who stare into the camera and say they were sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby.

No two people will view the 35 exactly the same way. That’s what makes it one hell of a picture. There’s a photographic beauty in the ugly circumstances that binds 35 strangers together in a  sorority none of them want to be part of.

New York magazine published the story which took months to do, but unfortunately it is was accessible for hours because a hacker crashed the website. Fortunately, someone found a working link and passed it on to me and I passed it on to someone else. The site is now back up.

How one responds to the cover varies by what the Cosby scandal means to you. I’ve  encountered reactions from “I’m going to call Barnes & Noble and have them hold a copy for me” to it doesn’t change anything about how they already felt that many of these women were out for fame and publicity since they are revealing their names and showing their faces.

Someone said it was a dog pile “We already know Cosby is a scumbag. This is just unnecessary.” I got one “I don’t care” followed by “It’s not that I don’t care, but I’ve heard enough about this.”

I understand that. I reached my saturation point in talking, reading and writing about Cosby a while ago and I’d like to take an extended break from the subject.   Until and unless an even bigger shoe drops, I will and not because I don’t care but because endlessly living in this story will make me stop caring.

Being as I’m one of those dinosaurs who still subscribes to magazines and New York being one of them, I can sit somewhere comfortable and quietly look at the pictures and read all the stories and lose myself in the process of reading instead of swiping, scrolling and clicking.

It won’t be a pleasurable read.  It is a necessary one.

 

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Bill Cosby Is Not Dead But He’s Dead To Me.

Nobody Left to Lie To.

Bill Cosby is dead. Well, technically, he’s not. Bill Cosby is still very much alive, but the Bill Cosby we thought Bill Cosby was is dead. That Cosby was a comedic genius and despite never winning an Oscar, he turned out to be a better actor than anyone ever gave him credit for.

Acted like a comedian. Acted like a nice guy. Acted like a philanthropist. Acted like America’s Dad. Turned out to be a rapist. Whoops. Ya got us all, Bill. Too bad you’re dead now.

Not dead as being laid out in a nice suit with his hands folded over his chest and looking so lifelike the mortician deserves some praise for making Bill look so natural.   Not that kind of dead at all.     Bill Cosby is alive but he should be dead to you.   Dead as in you’ll never laugh at him again.  Dead as in you now know beyond any reasonable doubt the man is a predator, a liar, and a rapist.

That’s the kind of dead man Bill Cosby is.   More dead to the world than he is alive.

Thing were already going bad for Cosby  before President Obama raised eyebrows by responding to  a reporter who wondered  maybe someone should take back the Presidential Metal of Freedom Award   Cosby received from President  Bush in 2002.   Maybe someone should reconsider the honor  in the aftermath of Cosby admitting in an unsealed deposition in 2006 to purchasing Quaaludes to drug woman to have sex with them.

Obama  was circumspect, “There’s no precedent for revoking a medal. We don’t have that mechanism,” before he got raw on Cosby’s ass.   Obama  added: “If you give a woman, or a man, for that matter, a drug and then have sex with that person without consent? That’s rape. And I think this country, or any civilized country, should have no tolerance for rape.”

That sounds  to me like a man who has just declared Bill Cosby is dead.   At least dead to him.

“How ya doin’ Bill? No, I don’t want you to make me a drink.”

Obama didn’t call Cosby a rapist.   He didn’t have to.   The president made it abundantly clear  how disgusted he was with Cosby’s preying on women and while Obama can’t send U.S. marshals  to confiscate Cosby’s medal,  he can say he really really doesn’t deserve it any more.

Black-oriented cable channels, Centric and Bounce TV did the late thing, not the right thing by  pulling The Cosby Show from their programming.   This was  the program which cemented Cosby’s America’s Dad status and as it goes dark across cable, what else will go into the junk heap?

Will Amazon and Wal-Mart stop selling  Cosby’s DVDs?  Will  I Spy and Fat Albert and all his films and records disappear too?

What about the millions Cosby has contributed to charity and universities and the resultant honorariums, statues, plaques they have awarded him or buildings they’ve named after him?

Should Spelman College end their  Cosby Chair for the Humanities funded in part by a $20 million gift to the historically Black school made by Bill and Camille Cosby in the ’80’s and give the money to his victims and rape-crisis centers? Here in Ohio, Central State University handled their  Cosby Conundrum by covering up his name on the media center which bears his name.

The Cosby Cover-Up

Are the good deeds of a very bad man the tainted fruit of the poisoned tree?  Yes.  Yes they are. The solution to the Cosby Conundrum is no less than a Cosby Cleansing.   Tear down the statutes.  Revoke the honorary degrees.   Chisel the surname off of the buildings.   Don’t feel guilty because a rapist sent your school a fat check and you cashed it.   Take bad money and do something good with it.

Two words keep swirling around Cosby (three if you count ‘rapist’ and you should) and that’s betrayal and why?     I’ve probably written Cosby betrayed us.  I take that back.  Cosby didn’t betray me or  you.    He never betrayed me because I never knew the man.    He  only made it seem like we did.      Bill Cosby betrayed his wife, Camille  and his family and his friends who defended him.

Mostly , he betrayed himself.

Why did Cosby rape?   Short answer:  Because he could and could get away with it.     We don’t know when Cosby went from cheating husband to sexual predator, but he certainly didn’t have to go far to find women willing to have sex with him.   However, at some point something dark and ugly came out and this was the real Cosby.   The one only his victims saw.  Right before they passed out.

Why Did Cosby Rape?  Maybe he got bored by the buffet of beautiful, young, willing women.   Maybe he had a small dick or couldn’t get it up.   Maybe he had to do it  in a way that seemed kind of freaky.   Maybe he got tired of trying to please his bed partners and decided the kind of sex he enjoyed was when women were totally subservient and submissive to him.

Maybe Cosby is just a narcissistic pig who gets off on rape and that’s as deep as it goes.      I don’t really want to speculate too much.   Figuring the why of it  almost makes him the victim and that clearly can’t be allowed to happen.

A woman who has been drugged and passes out can’t claim they have a headache.   Can’t say they don’t do that whatever “that” is.   Can’t expect anything and are only there to receive and be taken by force.

Don’t take either pill.

There’s no retroactive virginity available to  disassociate ourselves from the sin of laughing at Cosby.    He is far from the first celebrity to bring shame and scorn down  upon his own head, but even with Woody Allen, Michael Jackson or Roman Polanski has there ever been so disturbing the revelations over so many years against so many years as Cosby’s crimes against women?   The fall has been  precipitous for an  idol and role model held in such fond admiration and the landing will not be soft.

Until an allegation against Cosby falls within the statute of limitations or there’s enough evidence to indict him, what comes next will probably  be the sorry spectacle of a 78-year-old man being deposed time and again trying (and lying) about things he did 20, 30 and 40  years ago.     Perhaps there will be some big checks coming from Cosby in the future, but this time it’s for his victims.

Money isn’t going to heal those women but taking away his money is probably all the justice Cosby’s victims are going to ever get.     Whatever Cosby’s future is he can’t outrun his shady past.

This will be a long, slow painful fade for Cosby.   There’s  nobody left to lie to.   He’s not dead but he is dead to me.

A Tarnished Star

Four words.
Bill Cosby is over.
Most likely he will never spend a night in jail. Most likely he will spend the sunset years of his life dragging his ass from civil courtroom to courtroom. Most likely he will spend a great deal of time looking out a window and asking himself, “How did this happen to me?”


You did it to yourself, Bill.

I can no longer defend Bill Cosby any more.   To defending his darkened and tarnished soul imperils my own. It imperils every Black man who defends Cosby and denigrates the women whom have called him out for his trespasses against them.

I wanted to believe Cosby.  I desperately wanted to believe. I wanted to tell myself this was all a horrible, horrible mistake and there was a reasonable, plausible explanation.

But a lie cannot live forever and there have been too many women, too many awfully similar accounts, too many who were intimidated and ridiculed and humiliated into silence, who repressed their pain and have only now found their voice and are speaking up loudly and clearly: A beloved and powerful man drugged me and raped me and nobody believed me.

How can I cry for Michael Brown and Eric Garner and Trayvon Martin and not cry for Tamara Green, Barbara Bowman and yes, Janice Dickinson too? How can I righteously decry violence against Black men by White cops and not decry violence against White women by a Black man? Just how much of a hypocrite am I willing to become to protect a sacred cow?

All out of alibis.

All out of alibis.

I don’t want to be a fool and only a fool could believe all these women are making shit up merely to trash Bill Cosby. The conspiracy theories behind JFK’s assassination would pale into insignificance in comparison to what degrees of delusion one must submit to believe Cosby is an innocent being pursed by spurned starlets.

That is a level of deliberate blindness I can’t deal with. While I will always cherish Cosby for the man he was, I must turn my back on the man he has turned out to be.  The Cosby I thought I knew, the Cosby I watched on I Spy and The  Electric Company and Uptown Saturday Night and The Cosby Show was a mirage, a fake, a fraud, a public image that masked a deeply sick man and serial sexual offender.
Bill Cosby is a rapist.

What changed my mind? Beverly Johnson did.    As America’s first Black supermodel, it is not easy to dismiss Johnson when she in writes in Vanity Fair how Cosby assaulted her and how she overcame her initial reluctance to tell  her story.

…I struggled with how to reveal my big secret, and more importantly, what would people think when and if I did? Would they dismiss me as an angry black woman intent on ruining the image of one of the most revered men in the African American community over the last 40 years? Or would they see my open and honest account of being betrayed by one of the country’s most powerful, influential, and beloved entertainers?

As I wrestled with the idea of telling my story of the day Bill Cosby drugged me with the intention of doing God knows what, the faces of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and countless other brown and black men took residence in my mind.

Beverly Johnson: It takes an icon to take down an icon.

As if I needed to be reminded. The current plight of the black male was behind my silence when Barbara Bowman came out to tell the horrific details of being drugged and raped by Cosby to the Washington Post in November. And I watched in horror as my longtime friend and fellow model Janice Dickinson was raked over the coals for telling her account of rape at Cosby’s hands. Over the years I’ve met other women who also claim to have been violated by Cosby. Many are still afraid to speak up. I couldn’t sit back and watch the other women be vilified and shamed for something I knew was true.

When I sat down to write my memoir in 2013, I pondered if I should include my Cosby experience. I didn’t want to get involved in a he-said/she-said situation. Now that other women have come forward with their nightmare stories, I join them.

Finally, I reached the conclusion that the current attack on African American men has absolutely nothing to do at all with Bill Cosby. He brought this on himself when he decided he had the right to have his way with who knows how many women over the last four decades. If anything, Cosby is distinguished from the majority of black men in this country because he could depend on the powers that be for support and protection.

First, the pennies fell from my eyes. Second, I felt nauseous over what I could now clearly see.

I apologize for doubting. I apologize for being a Cosby apologist. I apologize to Janice Dickinson and all the women I’ve been so flippant and dismissive and callous and cruel toward. I’m sorry for my appalling ignorant insensitivity.

Mostly though I’m sorry for aiding and abetting a sexual predator.

I wanted to believe in the myth of Bill Cosby. Letting go of what I thought I respected and admired for even longer was harder than I thought it would and it hurts. This is something very hard for me as a Black man to say to White people. It hurts to lose a Black success story. There are so many Black failures and fuck-ups rubbed under your nose in that you yearn for and look long and hard for a brother who seems to be doing it right.

Cosby wasn’t just the first leading man on television.  He was one of the funniest comedians ever.  He proved it for decades on television, on film and onstage.   He championed jazz music, a genre near and dear to my heart.  Cosby didn’t forget his roots as he gave back to Black colleges with endowments and financial support.   Education was a cause he and his wife Camille championed.   What was there not to like about the man?

As it turns out, plenty.   But it was all whispers and shadows.   Easily ignored and easily dismissed as spurned women or calculating starlets trying to shake some dollars out of a Black hero with deep pockets.    Even as the numbers of women coming forward grew and changed, what stayed the same was their stories.   A young woman meets, an older and powerful man who seems to have an interest in their career or just a good time and he’s glad to help, but first drink this.

He kept us all in the dark.

Until  Johnson came forward it was possible to rationalize why Cosby was remaining stolidly silent.   Until Beverly Johnson came forward it was conceivable to invent scenarios to explain away the allegations.   Until Beverly Johnson came forward it was possible to keep up, however dim, some small hope Cosby might not have been guilty of the terrible things the women were saying he had done.

Beverly Johnson cancelled all that.  No more lies or alibis.  No more illusions.   This is not a conspiracy.  This is not mass hysteria.   This is it.   It’s over for Bill Cosby.

It hurts to lose a man you’ve admired. It hurts to lose someone who was a father figure. It hurts like hell.  But my father wasn’t a rapist. My father was not Bill Cosby.

It hurts me to say I’m sorry to anyone I offended, outraged or disappointed. It hurts, but it would hurt more not to say five little words: Bill Cosby is a rapist.

It hurts to type those words.   It would hurt more not to.

Deconstructing Cosby

No more excuses for The Cos.

I didn’t plan of writing about Bill Cosby today. I really didn’t. I had another post almost done, but I need to get this out first and then maybe I’ll be finished with it. Somebody compared Cosby’s swift fall from grace to that of another beloved icon: Michael Jackson. That’s a pretty apt comparison with one huge difference, I accepted early on Jackson probably was a serial pedophile. I didn’t want to believe it but I could not not believe it.

I’m having a bit more difficulty with Bill Cosby: Serial Rapist.

I watched a few old Cosby routines on You Tube with my wife today. We laughed at the same jokes we had laughed at before. I wasn’t the biggest fan of The Cosby Show. Too many precocious kids and ugly ass sweaters for me, but in my parents home Thursday nights at 8:00 were set aside for the latest in life with The Huxtables and don’t you dare call for the next 30 minutes.

I’ve lost a lot of respect for Bill Cosby over the past few days. But I’m not gonna act new like I never laughed at any of his jokes, enjoyed any of his films or thought highly of him. Doing that would make me a big of a liar as he is. I never stopped liking Michael Jackson’s music. What I stopped liking was Michael Jackson.

I will not try to purge myself and seek absolution for committing the sin of having enjoyed Bill Cosby. And I’m not quite there where I can say I no longer like Bill Cosby.

While I have my doubts–serious doubts –all the accusations against Cosby are legitimate, it goes beyond the realm of possibility to believe all the accusations are not.

Ex-model and reality TV star Janice Dickinson became the first celebrity to accuse Cosby.

Which leaves only one logical conclusion: Bill Cosby is a rapist. Equally logical, it also follows that in the sorry spectacle that is shaming of the beloved and respected comic, he is getting exactly what he deserves. While it is true in a court of law, Cosby likely has little to fear, the court of public opinion can dispense its own harsh justice against him.

As of yet, the jury is still out. Most Americans, especially African-Americans still hold Cosby in high esteem. But as the slow drip-drip-drip of rumors, allegations, and graphic horror stories continues that could gradually change.

Unless and not until Cosby sits down and gives straightforward, candid and tough answers to straightforward, candid and tough questions, the only result that can come from a manipulative and patently fake attempt to play on the public’s sympathy for a grizzled old comedian is more smoke and more mirrors.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for the première of The Confessions of Cliff Huxtable.  Bill Cosby only played Cliff Huxtable.  He wasn’t Cliff Huxtable.  Maybe he played everybody else too.
The flood of accusers coming forward only confuses the credibility of the true victims of Bill Cosby with the publicity seekers. I keep hearing, “These women aren’t asking for money, so why would they lie about it?”

One does not have to have to ask for money to receive money for telling the world their version of the story. One can receive a great deal of attention they might not otherwise receive if they didn’t tell their story when its hot news. How many of us were talking about Janice Dickinson last week? Not many I would guess.

Cosby is running out of friends.

I want due process and equal justice for Bill Cosby. An accusation is not evidence, but enough accusations is evidence that SOMETHING is happening. Cosby is an American icon and watching an icon slowly crumbling is an ugly and unpleasant spectacle. But rape is uglier and whatever hell Cosby is going through is nothing compared to what the women he may have victimized went through for years.

I’m trying REAL HARD to be what Fox News only says they are: “fair and balanced.”   But its never been a secret that Cosby had a taste for women he wasn’t married to.  Cosby hung around the Playboy Mansion for years and it wasn’t just for the shrimp at the buffet.

What we have so far are suspicions, allegations, rumors and thoughts of what may have happened. A few verifiable facts would be nice before we hang Bill Cosby from a tree.   In a courtroom accusations aren’t enough to convict, but in social media they certainly are enough to kill.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
~ Bill Cosby

Yeah.   You have fun with that.

Cosby: “Hey, Hugh! Check out the tail on that bunny!” Hefner: “Bill, isn’t this how you got in trouble in the first place?”

 

Bill Cosby: American Dad…and Rapist?

“So you see, what happened was…”

Bill Cosby’s PR firm had an idea. They put out a request across the Internet to create memes about the 77-year old comedian, actor and philanthropist.

The Internet responded. Oh, did it ever.

On Monday, the comedian — or whomever was in charge of his social media — put out a challenge with a jovial picture of Cosby in a cap: “Go ahead. Meme me! #cosbymeme.”

The Internet immediately reacted, but probably not in the way Cosby expected.

“Claire, have you seen my … nevermind, found my raping hat!” tweeted Trill Withers over the cap picture.

“My two favorite things (–) Jell-O pudding & rape,” tweeted E.J. Coughlin over a photo of Cosby smiling.

“Look at this wacky shirt I’m wearing (–) also I am a serial rapist,” tweeted Jason Steele over a picture of a thumbs-up Cosby in a patterned shirt.

Now comes the social media fiasco.

For years, Cosby has denied the rape allegations. In February, after Newsweek ran an interview with one of the purported victims, Tamara Green, Cosby’s representative said, “This is a 10-year-old, discredited accusation that proved to be nothing at the time, and is still nothing.”

Nine years ago, when Green was interviewed by Matt Lauer on the “Today” show, his lawyer issued a statement: “Miss Green’s allegations are absolutely false. Mr. Cosby does not know the name Tamara Green or (maiden name) Tamara Lucier and the incident she describes did not happen. The fact that she may have repeated this story to others is not corroboration.”

In the case of Andrea Constand, who sued Cosby in 2005 over an incident the year before, Cosby says the sex was consensual.

At the time of Constand’s lawsuit, Cosby had been in the news for a sexual affair once before. In 1997, a woman named Autumn Jackson claimed to be Cosby’s love child. Cosby admitted to a relationship with Jackson’s mother but denied paternity. Jackson was later convicted of extortion.

Cosby has been accused by 13 women of rape. Vulture published a timeline of incidents since 2002. The story took on new life when comedian Hannibal Buress called out The Cos during a performance.

At Mic.com, Maureen Shaw wondered, “Why do celebrities seem to get away with sexual assault? Cosby isn’t the first, and won’t be the last, mainstream celebrity to be accused of sexual abuse. This past February, Dylan Farrow accused Woody Allen of sexually assaulting her. Then there’s CeeLo Green, Tupac Shakur, Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, R. Kelly — the list goes on and on. And yet, these men’s careers rebounded and their accomplishments somehow overshadowed any wrongdoings.

As one of Cosby’s victims, Barbara Bowman, explains, “The media creates this idealized image of celebrities: that they are untouchable, that they’re not one of us. … I don’t think people want to believe it; to believe would shatter the illusion.” Specifically in the case of Cosby, Gawker nailed it: “Basically nobody wanted to live in a world where Bill Cosby was a sexual predator.”

Correction:  Accused sexual predator.   The predomination of accusations does not equate to a preponderance of evidence.

Bill’s got less friends now than when he wore that shirt.

Reading the CNN and Vulture articles is unsettling to say the least and deeply troubling even for someone like myself who has a great deal of respect for Cosby. It’s difficult to shrug off the multiple incidents as ambitious gold diggers scheming for a payday. There may not yet be a fire burning, but Cosby’s good name and reputation has certainly suffered serious smoke damage.

If it is unfair to brand the women whom have accused Bill Cosby of rape as being schemers or liars, it is equally unfair to convict Bill Cosby as a rapist without further proof–any proof.

It’s important to note that for all the troubling allegations and damning information that has gone from a slow drip to a raging torrent, Cosby has never been indicted, arrested, prosecuted, convicted or sentenced for rape. He’s been accused and the accusations were enough for him to settle the cases for money in exchange for silence. Silence is golden and buying silence has allowed Cosby to keep his golden halo from being tarnished as a sexual predator.

I am not objective about Cosby. I’ve laughed at his stand-up, watched his television shows and films and generally agreed with his sometimes harsh critiques of Black Americans. I won’t call him a role model or a hero but I will call him a man I respect.

I’m not yet convinced of Cosby’s guilt merely because The Internet and a hostile lynch mob of bloggers have found him guilty. The Internet rushes to judgment and get things wrong often.  It might be wrong again.

If it is proven Bill Cosby has put his pudding pop in somebody’s Jell-O against their will I will never respect him again.

But I won’t be happy about it.

Plausible is not the same thing as proven and preponderance is not the same thing as evidence.   Being found guilty in the court of public opinion in not the same thing as being found guilty in a court of law and thank goodness for that.    When death comes by a thousand cuts of ugly innuendo and unproven allegations, that’s not justice, that’s wrong.

Maybe Cosby doesn’t deserve to be considered innocent until proven guilty any more than any other suspected sexual predator, but he doesn’t deserve it any less.

 

Mugging and acting cute isn’t going to make this go away, Bill.

 

Has Todd Aiken Screwed the GOP With “Legitimate Rape?”

McCaskill may have found the one Republican she can beat.

Normally, no one but a political junkie would pay much attention to a Missouri Republican candidate for the Senate has to say about abortion.   What Todd Akin sad was far from normal.   Even for experience campaign observers  Akin’s candid response left their jaws crashing to the floor.

First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

“Legitimate rape?”   Rape is an ugly crime of hate and violence.  What’s almost as ugly is how pigs like Akin trivialize it to exert their moral authority over a woman’s body.  

Akin’s ill-considered remarks set the race in Missouri on its ear and Republicans in full-blown panic mode as Democrats pounced on the gaffe.   The Republican National Committee said it would not provide funds for Akin’s attempt to unseat Claire McCaskill,  the vulnerable incumbent for control of a Senate seat the GOP desperately wants to wrest from the Democrats.     The calls for Akin to quit the race began almost immediately.

Akin is telling anyone who will listen that he’s in the race, but he’s running out of listeners. Today, even Sean Hannity said he needs to quit.

The G.O.P. needs to pick up four seats to retake the Senate and Claire McCaskill in Missouri is one of the most vulnerable Democrats out there. She was losing to all the Republican challengers before Akin won the primary. They can find a replacement with no sweat, but if Akin hangs on, with the national money drying up, McCaskill could hang on.

That wouldn’t make Karl Rove or the Kochs very happy. The elephant stampede from Akin isn’t because he’s a stupid asshole, but because he might screw up Mitch McConnell’s wet dreams of becoming Senate Majority Leader. Politics trumps decency. Same as it always was.

Bad boy. He’s gotta go.

The Republicans are hoping Akin will drop out and allow them to replace him. Probably with someone not as stupidly insensitive about rape, but likely better at hiding it.

Unless Akin drops out, McConnell could stay in the minority.

Which isn’t to say he doesn’t have his defenders   “This is an effort to try to direct attention away from…Claire McCaskill, who has been supportive of Planned Parenthood – an organization that’s been under investigation for criminal activity,” Family Research Council President Tony Perkins said.

Akin’s candidacy got an unexpected boost from Democrats who poured a million dollars into ads attacking the GOP favorite, businessman John Brunner and a second challenger backed by Sarah Palin.

It was a political calculation to want the weakest and least electable Republican to run again a vulnerable Democrat. McCaskill was losing to all three of the Republicans in the primary and chose to boost the candidacy of Akin, the one she was losing to by the smallest margin.

If Akin wins the strategy will blow up in the face of McCaskill and the Democrats. If she wins because she suspected or hoped Akin would screw himself, then it was a brilliant move. Either way, she had to choose from the best of nothing but bad options. She chose the least worst one.

at the end of the day, Todd Akin is still a Republican. Akin’s idiocy gives McCaskill something she didn’t have a few weeks ago–an opening and a classic screw-up she can exploit. Akin’s repugnant views are being condemned by the GOP not because they find his view so repulsive. They don’t and his ignorant views aren’t out of the Republican mainstream, but they’re afraid Akin staying in will blow one of their best shots for a Senate pick-up.

You won’t find Mitt Romney or any other national GOP leader saying jack about that because that would mean they would have to accept blame for supporting this babbling fool in the first place–the way Paul Ryan did after Akin won the primary.

“Todd Akin has been a great asset to the House Budget Committee,” Ryan said in a joint press release last November with fellow House leaders, including NRCC Chairman Pete Sessions, and Republican Study Committee Chairman Jim Jordan. “His principled approach to fiscal responsibility is exactly the kind of leadership America needs and I appreciate his hard work.”

The Democrats may have given Akin a boost, but it was Republicans who gave him their support. He’s their boy and their problem.

 

Women Are Raped. Men Rape Them. (Simple, huh?)

What's wrong with this picture? Everything.

The visual is as stunning as it is disturbing.  A woman lies prone on a bathroom floor, her underwear pulled down around her ankles.  The implication is she is the victim of a sex assault.

Even worse is the finger-wagging tone of the ad:   “She didn’t want to do it, but she couldn’t say no.”

The ad was commissioned by the Pennsylvania Liquor Board to dramatically illustrate the dangers to women of drinking alcohol to excess to the point they can be taken advantage of.  Following a slew of criticism for the ad as victim-blaming, the board has pulled the ad.

Haven’t we learned yet it’s not a woman’s fault if she is raped?

The ad was absolutely asinine, tasteless, lurid, but its biggest problem is the advice is useless.

A woman can drink until she’s down on all fours and not be raped.

A woman can sip ginger ale all night long and be raped.

It does not matter if a woman is drunk on her ass or sober as a judge. She can do everything wrong and get home safe and sound. She can do everything right and become a victim.

Drinking to excess is not a good idea for anyone. If it’s not a valid excuse for a man to say, “I drank too much. That’s why I raped her” why would it be a valid reason to blame a woman by saying, “You drank too much. That’s why you got raped.”

What should be done now is to burn all those posters and come up with a new one and this one should hold the proper parties accountable. REAL MEN DON’T RAPE.

Women don't ask to be raped. Men choose to rape women.

The penis is not a separate, sentient organism.  Men control the penis, not the other way around and they alone, are responsible where it goes.  Don’t put it where it hasn’t been invited and there’s no risk of ever becoming a rapist.

Women should take reasonable and prudent precautions to avoid being a victim of sexual assault.  Of course it’s not a good idea to go home with strange men or to drink to excess and lose control of your facilities, but  being cautious and aware is not the same thing as living in fear of the inevitability of rape.

Men are not hardwired to rape.  They learn how to become a rapist.  They can unlearn too.  I’ve never raped a woman.  That’s not bragging. It didn’t require superhuman restraint not to.  All it took was higher brain functions firing on all synapses and cleaned out ears so when she said, “No” it  was not confused as meaning “maybe” or “yes” instead.

You can’t take credit for not doing something you’re not supposed to do.   It isn’t her fault she got raped.  It’s his fault for raping her.

Men rape.  Because they chose to.  Not because they have to.   Women can’t end rape.  Only men can do that.   Men will end rape when they stop raping.   It really is that simple.

Why SlutWalk? Because Rape Is Wrong.

WELLINGTON/NEW ZEALAND (AFP)Nearly 1,000 people, many of them scantily clad women, joined New Zealand’s “SlutWalk” marches Saturday protesting that victims were not responsible for rape.

About 500 marched through the streets of Wellington and more than 400 in Auckland carrying signs that read “Real men take no for an answer” and “A kiss does not equal consent”, reports said.

The “SlutWalk” phenomenon, which has spread around the world, was sparked by a Toronto police officer saying women could avoid being raped by not dressing like “sluts”.

Wellington organiser Maria-Jane Scannell said the same attitude existed in New Zealand and it placed the blame on the victim rather than the rapist.

“We?re all here because we agree that rape and sexual assault are never the fault of the victim,” she yelled through a megaphone.

Natalie Thorburn, 21, told Fairfax Media she joined the walk because she wanted to change the culture of blame.

“We want to make a statement to say we can wear whatever we want,” she said.

In Auckland, the crowd marched through the central city chanting: “Yes means yes, no means no, whatever we do, wherever we go.”

Rape survivor advocate Louise Nicholas said young girls going out late at night did not deserve to be raped.

“Nobody ever deserves to be subjected to such a heinous crime and that?s exactly what rape is,” she said.

Nothing troubles some people so much as having to think. Not just read a post, click a link and then press “reload” and reinforce your already held opinions, but to think.  They’re just recycling whatever vapid little thought is floating around in their head.

Because if you actually think in a sober, rational, reasoned and critical way, you might have to do something human beings hate to do: change their minds about something.

And once you know something you didn’t know before you might actually have to do something about it. Like marching in a slut walk.

It might be giving Toronto Police Constable Michael Sanguinetti a bit too much credit for giving feminism a jump-start, but protest demonstrations have been fueled by less provocative words than the ones he made to a group of law students.   Sanguinetti said, “You know, I think we’re beating around the bush here.  I’ve been told I’m not supposed to say this–however women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

With those words SlutWalk was born.  Marches have been held in Canada, the United States, England and many other places around the globe.

Of course there are always creeps who think rape is all one big joke.

Everybody knows rape is wrong and you shouldn’t do it, right? No. Everybody doesn’t know that. All around the world you see example after example of a woman being raped. A child being raped. A grandmother being raped. A mass rape in the Sudan or some other war-torn place. If everybody knows rape is wrong why is there so much raping going on?

My daughter has large breasts and she’s not yet 16. Some kids bloom faster than others. Hey, it happens. I tell her all the time, “Cover up. You’re showing too much cleavage.” Now am I telling her that because I think she should dress a little more modestly (good luck telling a teenage girl something like that) or because I’m afraid some guy will see her walking down the street, cruise along behind her and go beyond just checking her out?

The other day she morning waiting at the bus stop to get to summer school.  The bus rolled by without stopping.  She decided to walk instead.

She had almost reached the school when a young man began following her.  He started asking for her name and phone number.   She ignored him and kept walking.   He said, “Wait a minute,” and grabbed her by the arm.   She kicked in the ankle and he backed off.

That was a scary situation.  Both for her as a young woman and for my wife and I as concerned parents.   You might think a girl should be able to walk wherever she likes without some asshole putting his dirty hands on her.  You might think that, but it wouldn’t be true.

My daughter is tall and mature looking beyond her years.  She is not a slut and she does not deserve to be treated like one.

Who gets to decide when a woman is dressed “slutty?”

Who gets to choose what’s right for a woman to wear?

Rape happens. But it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. “I accidentally raped her” is not a defense. And how a woman is dressed doesn’t have a goddamned thing to do with it. That’s shifting the blame in a way that is obscene. Yeah, I raped her, but she shouldn’t have turned me on. It’s her fault she got raped.

Will protests stop rape? Of course they won’t, but that’s no reason not to do it or support it. If only one man learns not to put his penis somewhere it hasn’t been invited to go, it’s worth it.

In a perfect world there would be no need for a SlutWalk. There would be no such word as a “slut” or “whore” and rape would be an alien concept. It simply would cease to exist.

But this is far from a perfect world. So the detractors of the SlutWalk who think it’s just a staged stunt and ultimately worthless are right about one thing; there should be no women participating in the slut walk. Women aren’t the ones putting their private parts where they don’t belong. MEN rape WOMEN.

The SlutWalk should be done by men exclusively and they should swear they won’t rape, encourage rape, tolerate rape or nod and wink at rape culture, jokes and attitudes.

That would solve the problem right there.