Adios, Mofo!

Rick Perry don’t give a truck.

What happens when a man finally figures out  he’s got nothing to lose by speaking his mind.    If you’re Rick Perry  you reach into your pants first to see if you’ve still got a pair.    Then you quit.   But not before you give that damn yankee Donald Trump a Texas-sized piece of your mind!

Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry suddenly announced he was suspending his presidential campaign Friday.

As he did so, he made it abundantly clear that he’s still not a fan of real-estate mogul Donald Trump, the Republican front-runner in the race with whom he has often feuded.

Speaking at an event in St. Louis, Missouri, Perry repeatedly jabbed at Trump’s campaign-trail controversies without using his name.

“Demeaning people of Hispanic heritage is not just ignorant, it betrays the example of Christ,” Perry said, according to his prepared remarks. “We can enforce our laws and our borders, and we can love all who live within our borders, without betraying our values.”

This was a reference to Trump’s heated rhetoric against illegal immigration, which spurred a nationwide controversy when the developer launched his campaign in June. Perry previously likened Trump’s immigration activism to the US’s 19th-century “Know Nothing” movement, which shunned Catholic immigrants from Ireland and Germany.

“It is time to elevate our debate from divisive name-calling, from soundbites without solutions, and start discussing how we will make the country better for all if a conservative is elected president,” Perry said Friday.

Perry also bashed “celebrity” presidential candidates during his exit speech.

“For me, the message has always been greater than the man,” he said in his prepared remarks. “The conservative movement has always been about principles, not personalities. Our nominee should embody those principles. He — or she — must make the case for the cause of conservatism more than the cause of their own celebrity.”

Absolutely right, Rick.  You won’t be the one making the case though.

For the moment, Perry jumping from the klown kar has zero impact on the race though his super PAC does have $17 million socked away,  so  Slick Rick could still sit back, chill, and see who the Last Man Standing (sorry, Carly!) and see where he wants to start scratching checks for.   Or against if it comes to that.

Unless your name is John Kasich, it hasn’t been a real great time for current or former Republican governors.   Jeb “the Smart One” Bush has been pushed back into the pack by Captain Combover, Gentle Ben Carson, and Carly “I Hate Hillary” Fiorina.   That leaves Mike “I Used To Be Fat” Huckabee,  who tries to stand out in a field of morons by being the most moronic.

How stupid is this asshole?  Huck the Shuck is so stupid he believes the U.S. Supreme Court’s infamous Dred Scott decision of 1857 which denied Blacks the rights to U.S. citizenship still remains the law of the land.  Which it would still be–had not the 14th Amendment been passed in 1868.

Would someone please adjust Moronic Mike’s sun dial 147 years forward?   Meanwhile Little Scotty Walker hasn’t impressed anyone in Iowa as he’s gone from leading the field in July at 18% to just another bottom feeder now at three percent.  Which still allows him to tell Chris (the 1 Percenter) Christie to “eat it, chubs!”   But cheer up, Chris!   Your fave team, the Dallas Cowpies are on Sunday Night Football and looking forward to again showing exactly how their limp dick cornerbacks made Odell Beckham, Jr. a Madden cover boy.

Which leaves one more Republican governor (no, not you George Pataki and Jim Gilmore.  Nobody knows you even exist), but I’m blanking on the name.  Robert sombody or Bob someone or Robbie someone…no, that’s not it….Piyush!  Piyush “What About Bobby?” Jindal!   Shit, I forgot all about that simp!  So has everybody else.

Piyush (2 percent with a bullet!) has been HAM on Captain Combover.  Just look at some of these bitch-slaps he’s thrown at the Big Don.

“It’s not ‘Piyush!’ It’s BOBBY, dammit!”

  • The Donald Trump Act is great, and the idea of Donald Trump is great — BUT the reality of Donald Trump is absurd, he’s a non-serious carnival act.
  • Donald Trump is shallow. Has no understanding of policy. He’s full of bluster but has no substance. He lacks the intellectual curiosity to even learn.
  • It’s silly to argue policy with this guy, he’s doesn’t know anything about it, he has no idea what he is talking about, he makes it all up on the fly. According to him his health care plan will be “fabulous” and his tax plan will be “really, really terrific.” He’s shallow, no substance.
  • Donald Trump is for Donald Trump. He believes in nothing other than himself.   He’s not a liberal, he’s not a moderate, and he’s not a conservative. He’s not a Republican, Democrat, or Independent. He’s not for anything or against anything. Issues and policies and ideals are not important to him. He’s for Donald.
  • Donald Trump is a narcissist and an egomaniac. That may sound like a serious charge to make, but it is also something that everyone knows to be true, and he knows it too, and he celebrates it. He told us the other day that he’s likes Kanye West, why? “Because Kanye loves Trump.” He may be an entertaining narcissist, but he is one nonetheless.
  • Like all narcissists, Donald Trump is insecure and weak, and afraid of being exposed. And that’s why he is constantly telling us how big and how rich and how great he is, and how insignificant everyone else is. We’ve all met people like Trump, and we know that only a very weak and small person needs to constantly tell us how strong and powerful he is. Donald Trump believes that he is the answer to every question.
  • Donald Trump is not a serious person. It’s all a solo act, it’s all just a show, and the joke is on us. He’s laughing all the way to the bank, or to the polling location. P.T. Barnum was never more right.
  • You may have recently seen that after Trump said the Bible is his favorite book, he couldn’t name a single Bible verse or passage that meant something to him.   And we all know why, because it’s all just a show, and he hasn’t ever read the Bible.   But you know why he hasn’t read the Bible? Because he’s not in it.

Well, hell, Piyush.  Don’t be shy.  Tell us what you really think.  You mad,  bro ’cause  Donnie dissed Carly Fiorina’s looks?  You gonna defend her honor?   Give ’em hell, Piyush!

“I think it’s pretty outrageous for him to be attacking anybody’s appearance when he looks like he’s got a squirrel sitting on his head. I think he should stop attacking other people’s appearances.”

BOOM!  Head Shot!     Not that Piyush’s intended target totally ignored the incoming salvo.   In his own inimitable style,   the front runner returned fire without naming names

Even on the 14th commemoration of the worst day in America’s history, Trump makes it all about him.  Stay classy, Donald.

Yeah, it’s amazing how hardcore these Republicans get when they’ve got to push Donny’s fat ass off of them and the only reason they get any attention paid is they have to tear Trump down to make themselves look big.   When you’ve  been running for president for months and all you’ve got to show for it is a seat at the kid’s table for the debates, you get desperate.

No juice makes losers brave.

“Sieg heil, y’all!”

The Republicans Hate Slavery But Sure Love Talking About Slavery

“If I’m so stupid how come I’m richer than you schmucks?”

What in the hell is up with Republicans and their obsession for making these utterly inept and inane comparisons between slavery and anything else? Is this some new fetish with you guys or what?

Sarah “Pay Me!” Palin: Our free stuff today is being paid for by taking money from our children and borrowing from China,” she said at the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition’s fall fundraiser at the State Fairgrounds Saturday night. “When that money comes due—and this isn’t racist, but it’ll be like slavery when that note is due. We are going to beholden to the foreign master.”

“Woo hoo! There’s nekked wimmen on the Internets!”

Rand “This Really Is My Hair” Paul: “With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to healthcare, you have to realize what that implies. It’s not an abstraction. I’m a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me,” Paul said recently in a Senate subcommittee hearing.

“It means you believe in slavery. It means that you’re going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses.”

There’s a joke here, but Allen West’s parents made it a long time ago.

One-and-Done Loser Congressman
Allen West: “He [Obama] does not want you to have the self-esteem of getting up and earning, and having that title of American. He’d rather you be his slave.”

Gifted hands. Brain dead mind.

Sean Hannity bestie Dr. Ben Carson:
“You know Obamacare is really I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery,” Carson, who is African American, said Friday in remarks at the Values Voter Summit in Washington. “And it is in a way, it is slavery in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government, and it was never about health care. It was about control.”

“You been hymotized!”

Repeat Offender Michelle “Batshit-Crazy” Bachmann: Health Reform: In a 2009 speech in Colorado, Bachmann railed against healthcare reform. “What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass.” Claiming that many Americans already pay half their income to taxes, she said, “This is slavery…It’s nothing more than slavery.

National Debt: In January, Bachmann offered her now infamous take on American colonial history in which she declared that the Founding Fathers “worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.” Bachmann then framed her speech as an argument against the “slavery” of the national debt. “It is a slavery, it is a slavery that is a bondage to debt and a bondage to decline,” she said. “It is a subservience of a sovereign people to a failed, self-selected elite.”

In 2011, Batshit Bachmann and Rick “Foamy” Santorum were the two GOP presidential contenders to sign a pledge against same-sex marriage which included a passage that stated Black families were better off under slavery.

“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA‘s first African-American President.”

That’s okay, Rick. Nobody is taking you seriously.

Governor Goodhair Rick Perry: “I think we’re going through those difficult economic times for a purpose, to bring us back to those Biblical principles of … not spending all of our money, not asking for Pharaoh to give everything to everybody and to take care of folks, because at the end of the day, it’s slavery. And we become slaves to government.”

Extra Super Fun Fact: Perry’s family hunting camp was known as “Niggerhead” ranch.

Nevada Assemblyman Jim Wheeler: A Nevada assemblyman said he would vote in favor of legislation allowing for slavery if it was something his constituents wanted him to do.

Jim Wheeler, a Republican from Gardnerville, was talking to a crowd of Storey County Republicans in August he when said “yeah I would” vote for slavery if that’s what his constituents wanted.

If that’s what they wanted, I’d have to hold my nose, I’d have to bite my tongue and they’d probably have to hold a gun to my head, but yeah, if that’s what the citizens of the, if that’s what the constituency wants that elected me, that’s what they elected me for,” he said. “That’s what a republic is about. You elected a person for your district to do your wants and wishes, not the wants and wishes of a special interest, not his own wants and wishes, yours.”

Debated Sarah Palin. Was only the second dumbest person on the stage.

Fair and Balanced equal time inclusion from Joe “I Say Whatever Crazy Think I Think” Biden: Look at what they [Republicans] value, and look at their budget. And look what they’re proposing. [Romney] said in the first 100 days, he’s going to let the big banks write their own rules — unchain Wall Street,” Biden said a rally in Danville, Va. “They’re going to put y’all back in chains.”

Chattel slavery was an absolute evil and as practiced in the United States it became a monstrous abomination. All these cheap politicians and cheaper talking heads are not only engaging in racially insensitive and tone-deaf metaphors with their banal slavery comparisons, they are exhibiting lazy thinking to the extent they think at all.

Republicans in particular should know better. One of their own, Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, an accomplishment his fellow Grand Old Party comrades point to with chest-puffing pride when they come in from criticism for their racial views.

It’s doubtful Abe would be down for the casual way Republicans throw the word “slavery” around today. After all, he is the guy who said, “Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.”

Me too, and it’s a little early, but how about a remake of 12 Years A Slave starring Palin, Perry, Bachmann, Paul, Carson, West and Wheeler? As the slaves.

Abraham Lincoln: Republican Slayer

Enhanced by Zemanta

Rick Perry IS The Biggest Loser

America doesn't want a total dumbass as president.

There’s one less bozo in the Republican Clown Car.

Happy Trails, Governor Goodhair. The Rick Perry Party is over.

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. — Texas Gov. Rick Perry ended his campaign for president Thursday morning and endorsed Newt Gingrich.

“I believe Newt is a conservative visionary who can transform this country,” Perry said.

Making what he called a “strategic retreat,” the Texan obliquely referred to Gingrich’s checkered personal life just hours before an interview with the former House speaker’s second wife was to speak out in a TV interview.

“Newt is not perfect, but who among us is?” said Perry.

Citing his Christian faith, Perry said of Gingrich: “I believe in the power of redemption.

“I will leave the trail, return home to Texas, and wind down my 2012 campaign. And I will do so with pride.”

Pride?  You mean the closeted and self-hating kind of gay pride, Rick?  Not sayin’, just sayin’.

Perry entered the presidential race with every advantage, money, experience, great hair and no idea how to run for president, so he ran one of the worst campaigns I’ve ever seen. Inept in live debate, reactionary in his positions and painfully inarticulate in public, Perry is a heavyweight in Texas, but outside of it, he repeatedly proved he simply was not ready for prime time.   After stumbling and bumbling his way through debate after debate, Perry’s poll numbers fell off a cliff as he was elbowed aside by other equally reactionary Anti-Romney candidates.

Perry tried to be the most reactionary Republican in a campaign full of them. His only success came when he entered the race he effectively burst Michelle Bachmann’s bubble, but his fellow Texan, Ron Paul had already staked out the White supremacist/extremist constituency, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum were far more skilled at race-baiting leaving Perry with no room on the Right to move to.

Game, set, match. Perry did nothing in Iowa, disappeared in New Hampshire and two days before voters in South Carolina could humiliate him further, Perry quit.   Perry had become so irrelevant to Mitt Romney’s eventuality that when he announced he was hanging up his spurs, it wasn’t even the top story of the day.   The news media was focusing on one of Newt Gingrich’s ex-wives going on ABC to out the former Speaker of the House as a freak who wanted an “open marriage.’

The speculation is Perry will try again in 2016. The same thing is said about every unsuccessful candidate whether their name is Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty, or Huntsman. These are not temporary setbacks that can be resolved by licking their wounds and retreating from the national stage. These are failures and losers.

Out of all the contenders, none of them fell off as fast and landed as hard as little Ricky Perry. The far-right, religious freak and potential closet case that couldn’t.

Captain Brainfart’s Private Alamo

Coincidence? SURE, it's a coincidence.

It’s just sad what a desperate (and possibly closeted) politician will do when his polling numbers go right down the crapper.

When in doubt, go negative.   When your whole campaign is swirling down the pipes, go nasty and negative.  That’s what Rick Perry’s bottom-of-the-barrel “Strong” ad does.  Rarely do you see a man so desperately flailing to keep himself upright while simultaneously flinging poop in all directions.

In 30 seconds, Slick Rick bashes gays and liberals, implies the president hates religion and makes sure everybody knows he’s a CHRISTIAN (since there are a couple of other guys running who aren’t).

Pure whackadoodle pandering to the Iowa evangelical base because nothing says traditional values like raw homophobia and wrapping up your hate in that old-time religion.

The incredibly shrinking Captain Brainfart

The Republican playbook has been run to the Right in the primaries and pivot back to the center for the general election.   That’s proven to be sound advice, but when you’re barely a blip in the polls like Slick Rick,  you can’t finesse it.  You’ve got to go all negative all the time and throw that bloody chunk of raw meat to the base in hopes they will snap it up and start paying attention.

You can understand it from a desperate man’s point of view.  How would you feel if you were losing to Newt Gingrich?

The thing is, stuff hasn’t been going all that great with all these straight, super-religious freaks running the country Maybe it’s time to turn things over to the sodomites and infidels and give them a shot at running things?

One day they will write books about how awful a presidential campaign Governor Goodhair ran.  Perry may not know how many Supreme Court justices there are or how to pronounce their names, but he is a hunter and going gay-baiting may play well with evangelicals of Iowa.  So far it doesn’t seem to be helping him in the polls where he trails Gingrich, Mitt Romney and even his fellow Texan, Ron Paul.   Finishing fourth in Iowa could finish Perry entirely and wouldn’t that be a crying shame?

Man-whore Herman Cain dropped out the race (though there are real doubts if he ever was in the race) and though Isn’t the most representative state, it does an excellent job of expelling from the American body politic those candidates who don’t measure up.

Slick Rick is mere weeks away from facing his own personal Alamo when he faces the same fate of all foul waste products.

Jesus loves you Ricky. Everybody else thinks you’re an asshole.

Slick Rick Blows the Dog Whistle

"And up my sleeve, I have...NOTHING!"

In September, Governor Rick Perry was the frontrunner and leading the pack of Republican presidential candidates with a 31 percent favorability rating.  Now it’s November and he’s down to nine percent trailing behind Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and (gulp!) Ron Paul.

To say the Perry campaign is in free fall would be kind.

President Obama said in a speech this week, “There are a lot of things that make foreign investors see the U.S. as a great opportunity — our stability, our openness, our innovative free market culture.”

“But we’ve been a little bit lazy, I think, over the last couple of decades,” Obama continued. “We’ve kind of taken for granted — well, people will want to come here and we aren’t out there hungry, selling America and trying to attract new business into America.”

Perry rushed out an ad breathlessly declaring, “”Can you believe that?  That’s what our President thinks is wrong with America? That Americans are lazy?”

Appearing on Fox News (where else?),  Perry was asked what he thought the president’s mind-set was.

“It reveals to me that he grew up in a privileged way,” Perry said. “He never had to really work for anything. He never had to go through what Americans are going through. There’s 14-plus million americans sitting out there, some of them watching this program tonight, that don’t have a job. This president has never felt that angst.”

“He never had to really work for anything. He never had to go through what Americans are going…has never felt that angst that they have in their heart. And I think he’s always, when he has had problems, he’s always pointed to somebody else and said it was their fault, not mine.”

These are dog-whistle politics Perry is engaged in.

Dog-whistle politics n. a concealed, coded, or unstated idea, usually divisive or politically dangerous, nevertheless understood by the intended voters

Here is a White man who speaks with forked tongue.

What Governor Goodhair is really saying. “You know that Barack Obama is really somethin’, ain’t he? He went to Harvard. Taught Constitutional Law. Edited the Harvard Law Review. He’s written two best-sellers. He’s a right smart fella. For a Black guy, I mean. He really seems to think he’s not just as good as a White man, he really thinks he’s better than a White man.”

Perry all but says Obama is America’s first affirmative action president. He’s privileged. He got the job others were with more experience and more impressive credentials were bypassed for. He didn’t have to work for what he got. It was all laid out for him . All Obama had to do was show up, give a good speech, smile pretty and all those guilty White liberals would fall over themselves to vote for him.

"Hey Rick, I got your 'privileged" right here."

What America needs is a real American. Someone with good hair, White skin and politics to the extreme Right end of the spectrum.

Someone like Rick Perry.

When Perry says Obama “never really had to work for anything,” he either does not know or does not care Obama was raised by a single mother and his grandparents after his father abandoned the family and his mother would wake him at 4 a.m. on weekdays to study. She also fed young Barack by receiving food stamps.

That’s Perry’s idea of growing up “privileged.”

When your political star has risen as high and fallen as fast as Perry’s has since he entered the presidential race as the frontrunner and now trails Romney, Cain, Gingrich and Paul in the Iowa caucuses that are just six weeks away, you’ve got to do something to reverse the slide. A slide made even more steep by disastrous debate performances and a WTF speech in New Hampshire that left many wondering was he stoned, drunk or both.  Going negative is a desperate, but typical way to try and stop the fall.

It probably won’t work, but Perry hasn’t given anyone any other reasons to pay attention to his slip slidin’ away campaign so if it takes going on Fox and pandering to the racial resentments of Republican voters, that’s exactly what he will do. It’s a dirty, no-class and unprincipled way to get to the White House, but Perry never has claimed to be a paragon of principle.

When anyone tells you something that is an easily proven and demonstrable lie, it should immediately stir the intended recipient of that lie to wonder, Why is this person lying to me and if he isn’t telling me the truth about this, what else is he lying about?

Perry’s more pressing problem is before he can take on Obama he has to earn the privilege of being the Republican nominee and as things stand now, he won’t.

The arc of a presidential campaign is long and candidates that take hard falls can rise again (Exhibit A: Newt Gingrich) and Perry is hardly Texas Armadillo Roadkill souffle yet. Any race that features nitwits like Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain probably has room for Governor Goodhair to resurrect his flagging fortunes.

But if you can’t win the playoffs, you’ll never get the chance to play in the Super Bowl.

Even if America is denied the opportunity for Rick Perry to do to the country what he’s done to Texas he can always retire to his Niggerhead Ranch to engage in one of his favorite pursuits: tossing out race bait.

Chris Christie’s Plus-Sized Problem

A contrast that won't be ignored by comedians

Another day and another Republican “thinking seriously” about getting in the race. Chris Christie, the first-term governor of New Jersey has become the darling of the Tea Party, Karl Rove and other GOP insiders for his blunt speaking ways, union-bashing policies and tough style of governing.

Christie says he’s not running, but he seems to be enjoying all the attention he’s getting from Republicans imploring him to do so.   They see him as their Last Best Hope of denying President Obama a second term.  He sees himself sitting out 2012 and waiting for 2016 when there may be a wide-open contest without the formidable challenge of being an incumbent.

Stop in the name of love. God, I know Rick Perry had a shitty week at the debate last week, but between him and Mitt Romney, that’s a pretty good one-two punch for the Republicans. Sorry if they aren’t perfect, but I can’t believe how fast the rats abandoned the Perry ship after his debate swan dive.

Christie getting in would lively up the base–for about a couple of weeks until his considerable flaws as a candidate are exposed. One of them is his weight.  He’s too fat to win.

This is not to say Christie wouldn’t be a good candidate and a formidable challenger for Obama, but America is a weight-obsessed country. The hefty Christie would be chided as being undisciplined and appearance does matter.  It shouldn’t matter, but everyone knows it does.

Pretty trumps ugly, thin trumps fat, a headful of hair trumps a bald scalp and sexy always trumps frumpy.   These are some of the biological hurdles  Christie is not built to clear.  Hate me for saying it, but prove that I’m wrong.

Christie would be picked apart by commentators cruelly focusing on his size, not his standards. He would be a punchline for every lame comedian looking for an easy and cheap laugh.

This country is never going to choose another ugly, obese, or short president. Why do so many of her supporters think Sarah Palin would be a good president despite her total lack of qualifications for the job?   Because she looks good to them.  Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson would be considered too unattractive to head a presidential ticket.   The media consultants would tell them to get some plastic surgery and don’t come back until then.

It is said the weight of the world rests on the shoulder of the President.  In Christie’s case it looks like it’s slipped to his waistline.   It’s not right and it’s not fair, but it’s not right or fair there’s never been a plus-sized Miss America either.

If you think I’m picking on Christie’s weight just because it’s a soft target you probably think I shop at Casual Male because I like the fashions so much.   I feel for the guy.  I don’t like his politics, but if some naysayes thought Barack Obama was too skinny to be president, Christie doesn’t have a prayer.
Christie should consult with a former paunchy GOP governor who ran for president.  Mike Huckabee dropped 100 lbs before he decided to run for president.

He should give Huckabee a call, drop some lbs and stay in Trenton until 2016 comes around. Christie’s time will come, but it’s not going to be in 2012.   If you don’t look like you could run for the bus you’re not going  to convince the majority of voters you can run for president.

Is America ready for a president that looks like America?

In search of…somebody to beat Obama

The Republican demolition derby continues in this weekend’s Florida straw poll as The Herminator comes crawling from the wreckage.

Former pizza executive Herman Cain surprised rival Rick Perry with an upset victory on Saturday in a Republican presidential straw poll in Florida, dealing a disappointing loss to the Texas governor two days after a shaky debate performance.

Perry, leading in the polls for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, had needed a victory in what was an early test of strength to salve the wounds left over from a debate with his rivals on Thursday in which he struggled.

Instead, former Godfather’s Pizza executive Cain, who is far behind the two top-tier candidates Perry and Mitt Romney, won with 37 percent of 2,657 votes cast.

Perry was a distant second at 15 percent, just ahead of Romney, who won 14 percent despite not participating in the poll. Further back were Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman and Michele Bachmann.

Florida’s straw poll is a nonbinding popularity poll and is significant only in terms of showing a candidate’s strength in the state. The state contests to determine the Republican nominee do not start until early next year.

Cain, an African-American who promotes himself as a pragmatic problem-solver with a clear tax reform plan, eagerly welcomed the victory.

“This is a sign of our growing momentum and my candidacy that cannot be ignored,” Cain said after his win.

Most political analysts give him no chance of winning the nomination.

But Florida’s Republican Party had noted that since 1979 every winner of the Florida straw poll has gone on to become the party’s nominee. Senator John McCain won it in the 2008 cycle and defeated Romney to become the nominee.

"Pack your fudge for you, sir?"

As Scooby Doo might say, “R’uh-oh!”

Will the GOP really try to pull an Obama and make an African-American unknown their nominee? Hey, if all else fails,  send a Black guy to get rid of a Black guy.

Thing is they tried that once before in Illinois when the GOP recruited Alan “Carpetbagger” Keyes to knock off a young Democratic up-and-comer. That didn’t turn out so good.

Here’s what winning a straw polls means.  Nothing.  No delegates.  No states.  No nuthin’.  It’s just for bragging rights and ego strokes.

Because nobody really believes a pizza company CEO is going to be the Republican standard bearer next year.  Nobody.  The nice thing about Cain’s meaningless win is how it embarrasses Perry and Romney while emphasizing their considerable weaknesses as national candidates.

Despite the media’s desire to make it seem like the president doesn’t have a hope in hell of winning a second term, Obama was right when he said, “the odds of me being reelected are much higher than the odds of me being elected in the first place.”

That’s true and Republican insiders know it.  This is why they continue to look for still more candidates to get in the race.  The hope is someone will turn to be The One to beat Obama.  They thought it might be Governor Goodhair, yet despite vaulting Mittens as the presumed front-runner, Perry has begun reminding everyone why the more there is to learn about him the less there is to like about him.

Somewhere in New Jersey, Chris Christie is brushing pizza crumbs off his shirt and picking up a desperately ringing phone as a near hysterical Karl Rove on the other end begs, “please, baby baby, PLEASE!”

It’s a mighty long way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and until someone emerges Obama is still poised to use and abuse any and all of these chumps.

Cain: "Hey baby. I heard you dig the sexual chocolate." Palin: "Duuuuuhhh."

Obama’s Jobs Plan: Save His Own First.

Obama stands tall on jobs, but will the Republicans go along?

My better half and I watched and while she liked it better than I (light on details, but heavy on the message, “you should pass this bill”), it was easily Obama’s best speech since his remarks after the Tucson shooting spree.

I give it a “B.”  It’s got a good beat (“pass this bill” dammit!) and you could dance to it.  As my buddy Denise Clay said all Obama needed to do after putting the Republicans on notice would be to drop the mic on the floor and walk out.

At the very least it is a reminder Obama is very good when he sets aside his natural aloofness and shows a bit of passion. He should do it more often. It humanizes him.

I’ve already notified my Congressional representatives to step up and heed the president’s call. I know they won’t because doing anything to help Obama’s odds of remaining in the White House is not in their long-term game plans, but it’s worth making the effort.

It was a good speech, but what he says is secondary to what he does to get his proposal through a Congress whose idea of a jobs program is for Obama to lose his.

As regards the Republicans, they had yet another debate at the Ronald Reagan Library.   It was a fitting setting and yet another reminder not one of these lightweights could scrape a cow pie off of Reagan’s boots.

Winner: Rick Perry I guess. He didn’t shoot anyone, though he acted as if he was ready to bitch slap Ron Paul at one point.

It is creepy how much applause Perry got for saying executing 234 people doesn’t trouble him. I’m sure they were all bad people who had it coming  (sarcasm fully intended), but what is it about these obnoxious Bible-thumpers that makes them SO eager to kill people?

Loser: Ronald Reagan. Looking down on these eight dopes in designer colostomy bags bumbling about for who is best qualified to take the country back to the Dark Ages, the Great Communicator has to be wondering WTF is up with the Republican Party if these bottom-feeders are the best the GOP can barf up.

Eight reasons to vote for Obama.

Eventually, someone will emerge, President Obama will have an real opponent and we’ll be off and running.

In 2012, the issue won’t be Tony Rezko, Bill Ayers, Rev. Wright, or any of that crap leftover from 2008. It will be on the president’s job performance and how Americans feel about their own job and economic situation. If they think Obama has better ideas than his Republican challenger, he’ll win. If they don’t, he’ll lose.

Obama knows that. His supporters may often wonder what he believes in and what he will fight for, but even his most committed opponents can’t deny one thing about him: Obama is one HELL of a campaigner.

He took on two better known and more experienced candidates in Hillary Clinton and John McCain and beat ’em both. Does anyone really think Rick Perry and Mitt Romney are in that weight class?

All of the top-tier Republican candidates has major liabilities. Romney is running as the preemptive favorite, but he isn’t well-liked by the base or GOP insiders, the Tea Party doesn’t trust him and the differences between Obamacare and Romneycare aren’t big enough for him to put much distance between his plan and the president’s.

Perry has great hair, the kind of politics that play well in a primary, but won’t translate well to pivoting back to the center in a general election. His economic policies are murky and his record on social issues are the kind that give liberals screaming nightmares. That may not matter if he can sell his “Texas created 40 percent of the nation’s new jobs” line to enough Independents. I have sincere doubts though once Perry starts taking fire for his record as the nation’s longest serving governor his hair is going to stay so unmussed.

Perry’s fatal flaw is he’s another Texas governor and the last one of those America tried pretty much trashed the joint before he finally cleared out.

Bachmann can’t turn off the crazy long enough to beat Romney or Perry in a primary.  If she doesn’t win Iowa she’s over and out. Plus, she’s a lightweight. For all her bluster, she hasn’t accomplished dick in the House. For all his uselessness, Tim Pawlenty did make that case rather clear.

The rest of the field barely deserves serious consideration though the Ron Paul Pack keeps hope alive, but his issues are gaining more traction than the candidate. Jon Hunstman makes nice-sounding noises of moderation, but he’s going nowhere except back to Utah.   Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum and Herman Cain are just different examples of the same kind right-wing tool.

This is why the GOP establishment keeps sucking up to Paul Ryan or Chris Christie hoping they’ll ride to their rescue. They see the flaws of their current field far better than I.

Obama is beatable. But it won’t be easily done and not at all by most of his current challengers. This thing is more his to lose than it is for the other guys to win.  To be the man you first have to beat the man and Obama is not going to make it easy for any challenger to take the belt.

Rick vs. Ron: Not discussing where to go to dinner.