How Can We Miss Mitt Romney If He Won’t Go Away?

For reasons known only to Fox News, the conservative news channel decided it was important to find out what Mitt and Ann Romney had been up to since losing the election.

Yeah, I don’t know why either.

Romney, the man who would be president except Barack Obama is  sounded very much like a loser who still hadn’t figured out why he lost.

Chris Wallace asked the Republican standard bearer did he go into Election Day thinking he was going to win?

MITT:   Yes, I think we were convinced that we’d win.  We saw that the polls were very close. But we knew the energy and passion was with our voters and my heart said we were going to win.


At one point, Ann Romney explained why she and her husband are struggling to accept the sad reality of defeat,   “In our church, we’re used to serving and you know, you can be in a very high position, but you recognize you’re serving. And now all of a sudden, you’re released and you’re nobody … And we’re used to that. It’s like we came and stepped forward to serve. And … the other part of it was an amazing thing, and it was really quite a lot of energy and a lot of passion and … a lot of people around us and all of a sudden, it was nothing.”

That’s because you are nothing, Ann.  Nothing special.   You’re jut another wealthy, pampered White woman in a country full of them.    You’re both nobodies now.  

Pay no attention to the man in the painting. Or the other guy either.

Wallace played an audio tape of Romney speaking to supporters a week after the election and blamed his loss on minorities expecting President Obama to give them things. “It’s a proven political strategy which is, you have a bunch of money from the government to a group and, guess what, they’ll vote for you.”

MITT:  The president had the power of incumbency. ObamaCare was very attractive, particularly to those without health insurance. And they came out in large numbers to vote. So that was part of a successful campaign.

Still not getting it, huh, Mitt?

MITT: Well, I recognize that as the guy who lost the election, I’m not in a position to tell everybody else how to win, all right? They’re not going to listen and I don’t have the credibility to do that anyway.

First thing you said I can’t disagree with one word of.  You got that right, Mittens.  The Republicans can lose all by themselves.  They don’t need a loser telling them how to lose.

WALLACE: Why do you think he lost?

ANN ROMNEY: I think they had a better ground game. And I think we were not aware — you know, we certainly had the passion coming from our side, and I don’t think we were as aware of the passion that was coming from the other side. I think we were a little blindsided by that.

How’d that happen, Ann?  Didn’t you know Obama was the incumbent and he’s had four years to build up some passion on the other side?  

MITT: I look at what’s happening right now, I wish I were there. It kills me not to be there, not to be in the White House doing what needs to be done.

Yeah, well, that’s not happening.  You lost.  The Black guy won and I know that kills you even more.  Next time, win more votes.  Oh, that’s right…there isn’t a “next time” for you, is there?

MITT:  The president is the leader of the nation. The president brings people together, does the deals, does the trades, knocks the heads together. The president leads.

Yes, the president does.  You’re not the president.  And you never will be.  

MITT: And — and I don’t see that kind of — of leadership happening right now —

Aaaaaaannd we won’t being seeing that kind of leadership from you either, Mitt.   That’s a done deal, closed chapter, over and out.

ANN ROMNEY: I’m happy to blame the media.

Well, why not?   That’s what losing candidates always do.  It’s easier than blaming yourself.  

Then Wallace rolled tape on Romney’s now notorious “47 percent” crack.

 MITT: There are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them.

WALLACE: George Will said you’ve got a problem when voters don’t like you. You’ve got a real problem when voters think you don’t like them.

Because he didn’t like them.  At least the non-wealthy,  non-White voters.

MITT: Yes, it was a very unfortunate statement that I made. It’s not what I meant. I didn’t express myself as I wished I would have.

Bitch, please!  Man up and don’t play dumb.  You said exactly what you meant and you didn’t stutter.  

MITT:  You know, when you speak in private, you don’t spend as much time thinking about how something could be twisted and distorted and — and it could come out wrong and be used.

Oh, this is a very sad story.  If you’re running for president and you don’t spend as much time thinking about how what you say could be twisted and distorted, maybe you shouldn’t be president.   

It isn’t that it came out wrong, Mitt.  It’s that it came out at all and the whole country found out how much contempt you have for almost half of America.

MITT: But, you know, I did. And it was very harmful. What I said is not what I believe. Obviously, my whole campaign — my whole life has been devoted to helping people, all of the people. I care about all the people of the country.

I call bullshit.  If you said it and didn’t believe it, why were you lying to all those nice people in the audience listening to you?   Or are you lying now?

MITT: But that hurt. There’s no question that hurt and did real damage to my campaign.

I’m sure the Obama Campaign appreciated your self-inflicted wounds.   Put on your magic underwear and deal with it.

WALLACE: Looking back, how do you rate yourself as a presidential candidate?

MITT: Well, I see my mistakes and I see my flaws and I did better this time than I did the time before.

Oh, good for you! 

MITT: And — and I won’t get a third chance. I’m not doing it again.

You promise?   How many more times do you have to get your ass beat before the message finally sinks it: AMERICA DOESN’T WANT YOU TO BE ITS PRESIDENT!

MITT: The weakness that our campaign had and that I had is we weren’t effective in taking my message primarily to minority voters, to Hispanic-Americans, African-Americans, other minorities. That was a real weakness.

We did very well with the majority population, but not with minority populations. And that was a — that was a failing. That was a real mistake.

Now that is funny.  The Whitest White Man in America can’t figure out why “minority populations” rejected him.   

WALLACE: Why do you think that was?

MITT: Well, I think the ObamaCare attractiveness and feature was something we underestimated in a — particularly among lower incomes. And we just didn’t do as — as good a job at connecting with that audience as we should have.

Not going to give up on that “gift” thing are you?

WALLACE: What does the Republican Party need to do to reach out and attract more voters?

MITT: Well, first of all, I lost and so, I’m not going to be telling the Republican Party, come listen to me, the guy who lost is going to tell you how to win.

Then why not be a gracious loser and shut up?  Nobody’s dying for your advice.  

WALLACE: But you must have — you must have some ideas.

MITT: But — of course. But among those ideas, clearly, we have to do a better job bringing minority voters in to vote for Republicans and that’s Hispanic-Americans, African-Americans, other minorities. We’ve got to do a better job taking our message to them to help them understand why we’re the party with the ideas that will make their life better.

Here’s an African-American that understands you and your party’s “ideas,” just fine and I don’t see them doing me or my family any good.  

“Oh, look Ann. That’s where our dreams went.”

MITT :  …I’m not going to disappear. I’m not running for office. I don’t have a big organization that’s out speaking in my behalf.

But I care about America. I care about the people that can’t find jobs. I care about the fact that we’re wracking up larger deficits and — and putting the peril of — of — of the future generation very much in play.

I really care about this country. I care about my 20 grandkids, the kind of America they’re going to have. And sitting on the sidelines when so much is at stake is just not in my nature.

You might care about the country but the country does not care about you or anything you have to say.   

If you have 20 grandkids you should be caring for them and leave the rest of us the hell alone.  

It may not be in your nature to sit on the sidelines but that’s where you are and that’s where you’re staying. 

Bye-bye, Mittens.  Enjoy forced retirement.  Get naked and roll around in your money.  Just leave the rest of us along and we’ll do the same for you.

Loser’s Lunch

Inspected and rejected by 62 million Americans.

There’s a question being asked over Mitt Romney breaking bread with Barack Obama at the White House today and that is why?  Why would Obama want to dine with the man he beat soundly three weeks ago?   Better still, why would Romney accept the invitation?

Because it costs the president nothing to be gracious to his challenger and for Mitt’s part, it’s not as if he has anything better to do.

Speculation runs rampant that Romney might be offered some advisory role to the president or even a lesser Cabinet position such as Secretary of Commerce.   Not going to happen.   Obama has plenty of qualified people to select from for his second-term Cabinet and there will be some Republicans included, but let’s not take this “team of rivals” thing too far.

There’s no place for Romney in the Obama Administration.   Romney brings nothing to the table Obama can’t get from somebody better qualified and on his side.   The worst kept “secret” of the entire campaign was how much these two guys don’t like each other.   Unless Obama makes him the ambassador to Switzerland or the Cayman Islands so he can visit the millions of dollars he’s off-shored,  Romney couldn’t be less interested in spending the next four years deferring to the man who denied him his heart’s desire.

If Obama doesn’t want to hear Romney’s suggestions and Romney is praying Obama doesn’t embarrass him by offering him a gig, what exactly will they talk about?

“I love you honey.” “Me too.”

Still President Obama: So Mitt, how’s Ann doing?

Not President Romney: Fine.

Still President Obama:  How’s your coffee?  Need it freshened up?

Not President Romney:  No.

Still President Obama:  U Mad, Bro?

Not President Romney:  Hell to the yeah.  

I hate to be a bad winner…no, that’s a lie.  I love being a bad winner because I don’t like Mitt Romney and it gave me a great deal of personal satisfaction to not simply see him lose, but to completely fail.  The moment was there for Mitt Romney to show his character and he passed on it.  He could have said the president ran a better campaign.  He could have given some credit to those who voted against him.   Even in defeat, Romney could have done more to put aside the rancor and division of a bitterly fought and highly contentious election.

But Mittens wasn’t going on like that.  All those millions and it still didn’t buy Romney and .   He had to go out crying like a little bitch about Obama handing out “gifts” to his base.   Paul Ryan dealt from the bottom of the race card deck himself when he credited (or blamed) Obama’s victory to turnout in “urban areas.”

The “Obama Is Your Santa Claus” riff is one you hear and read being pushed by Republicans refusing to face the cold, hard facts.   Romney’s “chief strategist” Stuart Stevens offered up an alternate take on reality in a op-ed explaining why his candidate lost, but he couldn’t resist playing the race card.
On Nov. 6, Romney carried the majority of every economic group except those with less than $50,000 a year in household income. That means he carried the majority of middle-class voters. While John McCain lost white voters younger than 30 by 10 points, Romney won those voters by seven points, a 17-point shift. Obama received 4½million fewer voters in 2012 than 2008, and Romney got more votes than McCain. ..There was a time not so long ago when the problems of the Democratic Party revolved around being too liberal and too dependent on minorities. Obama turned those problems into advantages and rode that strategy to victory. But he was a charismatic African American president with a billion dollars, no primary and media that often felt morally conflicted about being critical. How easy is that to replicate?

Really, Stuart?   You’re proud that your boy appealed only to White voters making over $50,000 a year?     That’s what you’re thumping your chest about.   No wonder Mittens lost.   Apparently it’s impossible and particularly when you’re getting bad advice from a “strategist” that all you need to do to win is to appeal to pissed-off White men and ignore the rest of the country.   Who at the Washington Post thought it was a good idea to give a loser a podium to brag about how he lost?

This lunch  is gonna be a little awkward, but through a confidential source I can reveal what’s  on the menu for Mittens.    The White House chefs whipped  up a feast of sour grapes as the appetizer , an entree of crow,  dessert of a big slice of  humble pie and a glass of curdled milk.

Bon appetit. 

Romney and friends.

“Hi, I’m Mitt and I’m down with my brown and black peeps.”

The Humbling At Hofstra: How Obama Got His Swag Back

Brother Barack smirks while Mr. Mitt steams.

Now that’s more like it.

Fresh off his appearance two weeks ago impersonating Clint Eastwood’s empty chair, the real Barack Obama showed up for the second presidential debate and he came ready.   He had two weapons with him, one seen and the other unseen.   The first was a microphone.   The second was a gym bag full of shoes to break off in Mitt Romney’s ass.

The debate was made up the usual jabs by the candidates at each other, griping to the moderator how they hadn’t had the chance to respond to the question asked five minutes ago and a lot more give-and-take directly between Obama and Romney.   God bless Candy Crowley and her shoulder pads.  She was just the woman for the job of keeping the two men (somewhat) on point and certainly she was better at it than Jim Lehrer was in his hapless performance at the first debate.

It was a very skilful moment.  It’s the kind of moment when everything lines up in perfect political harmony.   Obama should have been put on the defensive by the Libya question.  He had successfully slipped the question, something Romney could have pointed out, but he had to rush to his pre-programmed talking points and pin the president’s ears back.   Or so he thought.

 PRESIDENT OBAMA: Secretary Clinton has done an extraordinary job. But she works for me. I’m the president. And I’m always responsible. And that’s why nobody is more interested in finding out exactly what happened than I did (sic).

The day after the attack, Governor, I stood in the Rose Garden, and I told the American people and the world that we are going to find out exactly what happened, that this was an act of terror. And I also said that we’re going to hunt down those who committed this crime. And then a few days later, I was there greeting the caskets coming into Andrews Air Force Base and grieving with the families.

And the suggestion that anybody in my team, whether the secretary of state, our U.N. ambassador, anybody on my team would play politics or mislead when we’ve lost four of our own, Governor, is offensive. That’s not what we do. That’s not what I do as president. That’s not what I do as commander in chief.

MS. CROWLEY: Governor, if you want to reply just quickly to this, please.

MR. ROMNEY: Yeah, I — I certainly do. I certainly do. I — I think it’s interesting the president just said something which is that on the day after the attack, he went in the Rose Garden and said that this was an act of terror. You said in the Rose Garden the day after the attack it was an act of terror. It was not a spontaneous demonstration.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Please proceed.

MR. ROMNEY: Is that what you’re saying?

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Please proceed, Governor.

MR. ROMNEY: I — I — I want to make sure we get that for the record, because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Get the transcript.

This was the point where a little voice in the back of Romney’s perfectly coiffed hair should have screamed, ALERT! ALERT!  Why is he so confident?  What does he know that I don’t?

Crowley, playing Miss Instant Fact Check brought Romney back to reality.

MS. CROWLEY: It — he did in fact, sir.

So let me — let me call it an act of terrorism — (inaudible) —

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder, Candy? (Laughter, applause.)

A knock down, not a knock out, but all the same…

Boom! Head shot.  Romney could not have looked any more pissed if his last dividend check from Bain Capital had bounced.   Mitt will have to call up his proctologist today to see if he can get Obama’s foot extracted.

Romney’s first stumble was less severe than his first, but it was his second Big Bird moment: another “huh?” remark that resonates long everything else that was said during 90 minutes is long forgotten.

CROWLEY: Governor Romney, pay equality for women?

ROMNEY: Thank you. And [sic] important topic, and one which I learned a great deal about, particularly as I was serving as governor of my state, because I had the chance to pull together a cabinet and all the applicants seemed to be men.

And I — and I went to my staff, and I said, “How come all the people for these jobs are — are all men.” They said, “Well, these are the people that have the qualifications.” And I said, “Well, gosh, can’t we — can’t we find some — some women that are also qualified?”

ROMNEY: And — and so we — we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.

I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” and they brought us whole binders full of women.

Binders full of women? Unleash the Twitter and Tumblr hounds!

It wasn’t so bad for Mitt when he pissed off Sesame Street viewers.  Kids can’t vote.  Women can and they aren’t likely to forget how Mitt ducked the question whether or not he favors pay equity for them but isn’t so shy when he declares he wants to end federal funding for Planned Parenthood or make an abortion darn near impossible to get.

Esquire’s Charles P. Pierce  summed up just how nasty Mr. Mitt was last night at Hofstra University.   If you aren’t reading Pierce you should be.  With Molly Ivins and Hunter S. Thompson no longer with us, Pierce is the sharpest (and sharpest tongued) commentator on politics we have.

But not even I expected Romney to let his entitled, Lord-of-the-Manor freak flag fly as proudly as he did on Tuesday night. He got in the president’s face. He got in Crowley’s face. That moment when he was hectoring the president about the president’s pension made him look like someone to whom the valet has brought the wrong Mercedes.

“You’ll get your chance in a moment. I’m still speaking.”

Wow. To me, this was a revelatory, epochal moment. It was a look at the real Willard Romney, the Bain cutthroat who could get rich ruining lives and not lose a moment’s sleep. But those people are merely the anonymous Help. The guy he was speaking to on Tuesday night is a man of considerable international influence. Outside of street protestors, and that Iraqi guy who threw a shoe at George W. Bush, I have never seen a more lucid example of manifest public disrespect for a sitting president than the hair-curling contempt with which Romney invested those words. (I’ve certainly never seen one from another candidate.) He’s lucky Barack Obama prizes cool over everything else. LBJ would have taken out his heart with a pair of salad tongs and Harry Truman would have bitten off his nose.

And Romney bitched endlessly — endlessly — about the rules, and why this uppity fellow on the other stool was allowed to speak before he was spoken to, and why he didn’t get to speak at length on whatever he wanted to speak on because, after all, he is the CEO of the stage. Jesus Christ, I’d hate to play golf with the man. He’s the guy who counts to make sure you don’t have too many wedges in your bag. He knows every cheap subsection of every cheap ground rule, and he’ll call you on every one of them. You couldn’t get a free drop out of him with thumbscrews, and forget about conceding any putt outside two inches. And then, on the 18th hole, with all the money on the line, he kicks his ball out of the rough and denies up and down to the rules committee that he did it. Then he goes into the clubhouse bar and nobody sits with him.

When Obama and  Crowley fact-checked Mitt in real-time about whether the president used the word “terror” in his September 12 remarks, that was a “Drop the Mic and Fold Ya Arms” moment and the Right knew it.  The blogosphere exploded with apoplectic, whiny Republicans spitting on their laptops about “the libbrul media” and Crowley for not repeating Lehrer’s imitation of a doormat.  The talking heads of Fox News said the debate was a tie.  Which means Obama won.

Well played, Mr. President. Makes me wonder who that guy who was standing up there in your spot two weeks ago.

For Obama supporters, when you get that e-mail from Barack Obama today asking “How ya like me now?” in response to his performance in the second debate, don’t just compliment him. Send him a little green. Piss off a Koch Brother.

Mitt’s Marie Antoinette Moment


romney  Design by Andrew Caldwell, Original Photo by Jewel Samad, AFP/Getty Images

It’s  early for this week’s Shut Up, Fool! Award, but Mitt Romney has already made a strong bid to lock it up twice in a row. We don’t know much of what Mitt believes in, but he’s made it clear, he believes anyone who supports President Obama is a freeloading maggot.

Mother Jones magazine has a tape of Mitt Romney speaking to a room full of donors and he makes it pretty clear what he thinks about a good-sized chunk of the American population:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.

Romney went on: “[M]y job is is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

Anyone who wants to be the President of the United States has to be represent all the country, not just part of it. In effect, Romney is saying he will work for 53 percent of Americans while the rest can drop dead.

I can hear the argument coming from Romney’s defenders even before they open their mouth. Let me stop them before they say it. You think it’s dirty pool to surreptitiously tape Romney without his knowledge? I’ll grant that it isn’t entirely ethical, but politically it’s entirely fair. Nobody on the Right squawked prior to the Pennsylvania primary in 2008 when Obama was caught saying about working class White voters, “And it’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

At that time Obama’s remarks were pounced upon by rivals Hillary Clinton and John McCain.   “It’s a remarkable statement and extremely revealing,” McCain adviser Steve Schmidt said “It shows an elitism and condescension towards hardworking Americans that is nothing short of breathtaking, it is hard to imagine someone running for president who is more out of touch with average Americans.”

It’s déjà vu all over again. This is Romney’s guns and God moment. He believes there are two Americas and any old person collecting Social Security, any veteran who receives treatment in a Veterans Administration hospital, and every child who isn’t going hungry because her family receives food stamps isn’t taking “personal responsibility.”

Mittens doesn’t stand for much, but what he does stand for is cold, callous and class warfare. What he said is the proof of what liberal economist John Kenneth Galbraith once observed, The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

With his poorly thought out statements about the Middle East protests, Romney displayed his unfitness for the presidency. These remarks should cost him dearly. 50 days away from the election and Romney has demonstrated he doesn’t give a damn about nearly half of the country.

Last week Mitt Romney demonstrated his unfitness for the office of the presidency.  This week he demonstrated he’s a wealthy plutocrat who looks down his elitist nose at anyone who isn’t White, rich and privileged.   He doesn’t deserve to be president.  He isn’t ready to be president.   He shouldn’t be president.

Keep reminding yourself that when you go to the polls in less than 60 days and vote accordingly.