The Quitter

John Boehner: Sphincter of the House

John Boehner quit his job.   One question.  Why’d it take so long?

Boehner must want to go work on his tan.    As Speakers of the House go I recall the reign of error of Jaunty Jim Wright and Dumbo Denny Hastert (recalling my Mighty Marvel Bullpen days), and Nimble Nancy Pelosi was no prize either, but Joltin’ Johnny Boehner brought his own special sort of suckiness to the job.

Fuck this shit. I just wanna go hit a bucket of ball, smoke a few cancer sticks and drink my scotch in peace. Beats workin’.

I wouldn’t carve out a new Mt. Everest of Leadership for Boehner, McConnell, Pelosi and Reid, but really, WHAT are we losing by this fucktard bailing and running for the exit?

A government shutdown? Had one with the Boner in charge. Endless Benghazi investigations? Still got those with the Boner in charge. Refused to raise the debt ceiling? That was the Boner again. Voting 50 FUCKING TIMES to defund Obamacare? All on the Boner’s watch. Disrespected by and unable to control the Tea Party Crazies in his caucus? That’s gotta be the Boner.

In my lifetime, there have been ten Speakers of the House. I liked some, respected a few and loathed the rest. Without question or qualification, despite the disparaging nickname, John Boehner was hands down the absolute worst, most ineffectual, limpest dick to wield the gavel. Nancy Pelosi had been bigger balls than Agent Orange.

“During the — during my years here when I voted, I have the eighth most conservative voting record in the Congress. And it does pain me to be described as spineless or a squish. And I tell you what pains me the most is when they describe me as the establishment. Now, I’m the most anti-establishment speaker we’ve ever had. You know, who was the guy who got rid of earmarks? Me. Who’s the guy that believes in regular order? Me. Who believes in allowing more members to participate in the process from both sides of the aisle? Me.”

Who’s a whiny-ass little bitch? You, John Boner Boehner. You were a squish. A spineless little slimy worm.

Don’t tell me who’s coming after him will probably be worse. Look at the flotsam and jetsam in the House Republican leadership and tell me something I don’t know. Tell me if Boehner’s replacement will be as impotent as he was?

I despise gutless, cheap political hacks like Boehner who will wear his permanent stink of failure like a cheap dollar store cologne.

Bye-bye to the Boner. The Worst Speaker of the House in my lifetime. A hemorrhoid on the nation’s asshole, John Boehner was as useless as a Trojan with a hole in it.

 

 

The Sphincter of the House

john-boehner

John loses his boner.

House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, acknowledged Wednesday that he would allow a vote in the House on a newly-minted Senate deal on debt and spending.

“We fought the good fight. We just didn’t win,” he said on WLW radio in Ohio.

Boehner additionally confirmed that he would “absolutely” allow the whole House to vote on a plan introduced on Wednesday in the Senate. That bipartisan plan, unveiled by Senate leaders, would fund the government through mid-January and raise the debt ceiling until early February.

Which begs the musical question…

How in the hell was this any sort of “good fight?”

What exactly was the high-minded principle The Boner and his fellow knuckle-dragging troglodytes were fighting for worth shutting down the entire government for three weeks,  throwing thousands of federal workers out of work and cutting off their checks (while Congress made sure they were still receiving their pay)  pushing the country into default and making the United States of America look like the nuttiest asylum ever run by the most insane inmates?

“We Just Didn’t Win.”

Which means The Boner is a loser.  The Caveman Caucus is full of grunting losers.  The Republican Party is a loser.   Ted  “Canadian Bacon” Cruz is the biggest loser right along his fellow losers in the collective of whiny losers called the Tea Party.   That is a good thing to come out of a bad thing.

Ultimately the cavemen caved in.  What else could they do?  Though the extremist whack jobs in Congress and their little cheerleaders on Fixed News were ready to crash and burn the American economy for the sake of a temper tantrum, eventually the adults wrested the controls away from them and narrowly avoided one potentially very hot mess.

This is your Republican Party.

This is your Republican Party.

So if the Boner is wimpiest wimp that ever wimped in American political history and is a Dead Man Walking in his remaining tenure as Speaker of the House of Crazy People, who were the winners here?

NOBODY WINS  in a sorry spectacle like this and you are on crazy pills if you think anybody won jack.   The Congressional crazies will be all over the television and the radio and the Internet telling anyone who will listen, “We WON!  We shut down the government!  We brought the country to a screeching halt.  Man, we ROCK!  We are such total bad-asses!  High-five and chest bumps all around!”

This will be nothing more than the hollow victory yelps of crazy people and no different from the whiskey-fueled ranting of a mangy drunk arguing with himself on a standing-room bus as a puddle of pee runs down his leg and all the other riders desperately try to pretend the foul-smelling lout isn’t really there.

That is what the Republican Party is now.  Mangy, ranting drunks who annoy everyone and stink of stale ammonia strong piss.

We’ll take a break from this unnecessary exercise in brinkmanship and be back for more of the same after the Xmas when “The Real Assholes of Washington D.C.” returns for its next season.

What have we learned?  We have learned John Andrew Bohner is the 61st Speaker of the House and a total neutered whipped dog who is regularly kicked around by 30 extremists in his own caucus and he lives in fear of the next kick in the rib.

I’d feel sorry for the Boner if I wasn’t revolted  by his submissive groveling weakness and his gutless  “I don’t give a shit what happens to the country as long as I’m still Speaker”  self-preservation motivation.

See you in January.

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Allen West: An Officer, Not A Gentleman

"Douchebag of the Year? Me? Aw, you shouldn't have."

Some people run for Congress because they want to do good things for their community.  They want to roll up their sleeves and be busily about the business of the American people.   They want to go to Washington and make a difference and try to make politics work a little better than it presently does.

Then you have guys like Allen West who go to Washington for a much different reason.   They don’t believe government helps makes the lives of people better so they get elected and prove it.

West, whose name was floated by presidential candidate and political irrelevance Newt Gingrich as a potential vice-president, got pissy when he took exception to remarks made on the House floor by Democratic Representative Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.   West fired off a snarky e-mail to his Florida colleague.

From: Z112 West, Allen
Sent: Tuesday, July 19, 2011 04:48 PM
To: Wasserman Schultz, Debbie
Cc: McCarthy, Kevin; Blyth, Jonathan; Pelosi, Nancy; Cantor, Eric
Subject: Unprofessional and Inappropriate Sophomoric Behavior from Wasserman-Schultz

Look, Debbie, I understand that after I departed the House floor you directed your floor speech comments directly towards me. Let me make myself perfectly clear, you want a personal fight, I am happy to oblige. You are the most vile, unprofessional ,and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up. Focus on your own congressional district!

I am bringing your actions today to our Majority Leader and Majority Whip and from this time forward, understand that I shall defend myself forthright against your heinous characterless behavior……which dates back to the disgusting protest you ordered at my campaign hqs, October 2010 in Deerfield Beach.

You have proven repeatedly that you are not a Lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!

Steadfast and Loyal

Congressman Allen B West (R-FL)

Here’s the video of Wasserman-Schultz’s remarks that set West off.  At no point does she name West, but he was angered nonetheless.

It that’s what set off West so much to declare Wasserman-Schultz as “vile”, “despicable”, “a coward” and “unprofessional” he’s a thin-skinned punk.   He says Wasserman-Schultz isn’t a lady?   What kind of man are  you Al to send off a whinygram to House leaders instead of confronting her personally with your complaints?

Apparently the former Army lieutenant colonel is an officer, but not a gentleman. 

Even by right-wing troglodyte standards, West is a particularly nasty piece of work.  He seems to go out of his way to belittle Democrats. 

West goes out his way to be a dick. Such as when he ripped Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Mn) as representing “the antithesis of the principles upon which this country was established.”  Ellison is a practicing Muslim.

    PERITZ: Since you’re with a new crowd, people you haven’t really met before, and will be very closely associating with in the future, including Keith Ellison, who supports Islam, how will you manage that, if I may ask, because it’s not really easy to be polite with individuals one totally disagrees with, which I believe may be the case.

    WEST: Well I think it’s most important that I stand upon the principles that people elected me to go to Washington, DC and represent them on Capitol Hill. So that when you run into someone that is counter, or someone that really does represent the antithesis of the principles upon which this country was established, you’ve got to be able to defeat them intellectually in debate and discourse, and you to just have to be able to challenge each and every one of their assertions very wisely and very forthright.

Toss in West’s recent remark, “I must confess when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool,” and you’ve got a guy who looks for new ways to be an asshole. Funny thing though…you don’t see West actually doing much since he’s been elected besides giving interviews and saying dumb things.

Some guys are just intimidated by strong women.

West reminds me why I got out of the military.   The rigidity of thought and conformist mindset the armed forces instills tends to lead one down a path of conservatism, and extreme conservatism at that.   I got out of the Air Force before I started voting Republican.   West spent 18 years in the Army so his hawkish and far-right ideology doesn’t surprise me.

Every day West is a member of Congress is an embarrassment and since he may likely find himself running for reelection in a predominantly Democratic district, here’s hoping the dickish behavior of this two-legged infected pustule in Washington will be short-lived.