“Batman v Superman” Is Too Big To Fail. Right?

When Bros Clash! by Frank Miller

This is not a review of Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice.   It doesn’t need reviews this is probably going to a movie that is critic-proof. The ability to have bullets bounce off is gonna come in handy because the movies is under fire pulling an anemic 33 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

I haven’t seen the movie and wasn’t planning on in its opening week, but if I were a suit at Warner Brothers, I’d be scared down to my skivvies. Not scared of Lex Luthor, but of the Hulk, the 2003 film version.

Hulk was released on June 20, 2003, earning $62.1 million in its opening weekend, which made it the 16th highest ever opener at the time. However, poor word of mouth spread, and it never recovered. With a second weekend drop of 70%, it was the first opener above $20 million to drop over 65%. The film went on to gross $132.2 in North America, and $113.2 in foreign countries, coming to a worldwide total of $245.4 million. Hulk failed to recoup its $137 million budget since it did not make more than $274 million.   With a final North American gross of $132.2 million it became the largest opener to fail to earn $150 million.

So there’s precedent.  There’s no doubt Bats vs. Supes will have a great opening week. The buzz is big for this one:

One interesting stat released by Fandango when trumpeting the massive pre-sale figures for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was this little tidbit: 88% of moviegoers are excited to see Wonder Woman onscreen. Of those polled among pre-ticket buyers, that number is higher than any other polled question.

82% have seen Man of Steel in theaters, 66% are Zack Snyder fans, 61% are planning to see the movie more than once, 60% are looking forward to Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, 59% are rooting for Batman, and 41% are rooting for Superman.

Those are reasons to be optimistic Batman v. Superman will have a yuuuuuge opening week.

But what happens in the second week? If it takes a Hulk-sized fall-off of 60-70 percent, it’s dead. Even many of the positive reviews have said this is not a “kid friendly” flick for reasons I can’t mention.  If families won’t go, will fans be enough to make up the difference?

This movie cost $250 to make and another $150 million to market. That’s a $400 million dollar gamble and if doesn’t make BIG money–Avengers, Star Wars billion dollar kind of money. Anything less than that will not bode well for the future of the DC film franchises.    My guess is  this will open to over $100 million, but nobody can predict if it will get a repeat audience or they just go see Deadpool again.

Batman v. Superman has dropped to 30 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.    It is four percent ahead of My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, so that’s something to get Zack Snyder fist-pumping.

Before anyone says I must be a Marvel zombie, I hate Ben Affleck’s dimpled chin and I own Disney stock so I’m hoping Bats v. Supes tank , let me stop you there.   It matters that Batman v. Superman is good for the same reason it mattered when DC and Marvel were known for comic books and not for comic book movies.   Competition made them both try harder and if DC’s movies suck, Marvel movies will inevitably suck too.

I pay attention to movie critics because I was one and the word is this is not a great film.  I’ll decide that for myself, but I wasn’t planning on going on Opening Week anyway.   I’m busy staying home and catching up with Daredevil Season Two.

You remember Daredevil, right?   The last superhero Batffleck played?

“Batman v. Superman” Shows (and Tells) Too Much

Super Stink Face

Super Stink Face

The new and (hopefully last!) trailer for  Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice has dropped and it indicate the first sign of the glaring absence of executive producer Christopher Nolan to tell writer David S. Goyer and director Zack Snyder, “I wouldn’t do that if I were for you”.  In Man of Steel, Nolan resisted their idea for Superman to kill Zod and the Dynamic Duo him it would be cool (it wasn’t).

Now with the adult out of the room, who’s gonna tell the kids they can’t eat pizza for breakfast and to flush after using the john?

Let’s sum up the trailer:

Batman is mad at Superman. Superman doesn’t give a shit about Batman being mad. Bruce and Clark have a snark fest. Lex Zuckerberg does a bad Joker riff. Previous scenes from earlier trailers. Bats and Supes duke it out. IT’S A BRO FIGHT! Mark Luthor unleashes his eeeeeeeevil scheme with Zod’s cold dead body. Doomsday is here looking like a moving pile of puke and poop. Bats and Supes team up to fight the greater menace. Mass destruction and big explosions. Suddenly, Whatta Woman appears! Bats and Supes exchange puzzled looks. “Is she with you, dude?” We Stand As One to Kick Doomsday’s nasty ass!

The trailer GIVES AWAY THE WHOLE FUCKING PLOT OF THE MOVIE FOR CHRISSAKES!

I save $10 bucks! This might be the worst trailer since Castaway in giving away all its big moments way too soon.  I’m certain there are more than a few secrets left to reveal in Batman v. Superman, but Great Scott that trailer was spoileriffic.

And it still looks to me like passing over Bryan Cranston in favor of Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor was a turrrible idea as Charles Barkley might say.   It’s completely out of place and character for a DC flick since they disdain being “jokey” like Marvel movies. I didn’t mind the exchange as much as I agree it’s a little tone-deaf after the laugh riots of Nolan’s Batman trilogy and Man of Steel.
The thing which bugs me most about this trailer isn’t Batman or Superman or Wonder Woman or even Doomsday.  Okay, I’m lying a bit  because  Doomsday looks like shit and he’s never been anything but DC’s knockoff version of Hulk Lite so Superman has someone he can hit that won’t splatter from the punch.

It’s Jesse Eisenberg’s goofy Lex Luthor because nothing screams “BEWARE, MY WRATH!” like an angry Jesse Eisenberg!

Look, no knock on Eisenberg as an actor. Loved him as anti-social, unlikable The Social Network, but his Luther looks like the same smart-ass motormouth he played in Now You See Me. In fact, I’ll go further. Between Gene Hackman, Kevin Spacey and now Eisenberg, the best actor to play Lex Luthor was…Clancy Brown.

My brother tells me I’m being a buzzkill and the trailer doesn’t spoil everything about Batman v. Superman.  We still haven’t seen Aquaman, but that’s a pretty thin branch to perch on.  If you’re depending on Aquaman to save your movie, it’s a lost cause already.

jesse-eisenberg-lex-luthor-not-bryan-cranston-meme2016 is going to be a huge year in super hero films with Batman v. Superman,  Captain America: Civil War, X-Men: Apocalypse, Suicide Squad,  and maybe one film where superheroes aren’t beating up each other, Deadpool.

Every genre reaches a point of saturation and if super hero movies aren’t there yet, they are getting close.   When the heroes are beating up each other it’s a sign they are running out of villains to beat up instead.

It’s going to be a big year, but to make it a good year, something is going to have to grab my interest in a way Avengers: Age of Ultron (saw it once and promptly forgot all about it) and Ant-Man (didn’t bother to see it) did not.   Maybe I’ve aged out of getting excited about seeing comic book characters on the big screen or maybe I’m just waiting for one that actually gives me a reason to get excited.